Lost Memories Rewritten
by CountryGirl6556
Summary: While Ren and Pirika are heading to meet his parents there is an accident and Pirika goes missing. Will the group ever get her back? And if they do, what will she have lost in the process? Will she ever be the girl they remember? This is a rewrite of a previous story. It has been improved and has over 10k more words. RxP Romance PxAll Friendship
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: Okay, this is actually a rewritten story. I wrote it a few years back but was never pleased with the ending. I rushed it just so there would be one. So, in addition to sharpening the whole story, I added over 10k words, mostly to the end. I am much more pleased with this version. It is all written, so you don't have to worry about it ending part way through. There will be 9 chapters, most about this length or a little longer, with the last chapter being pretty short. I am thinking I will update twice a week, maybe Thurs and Mon.

It seems like so long ago since Shaman King came out, but it will always be something I write. I first started by writing Shaman King FanFics and I won't ever be able to forget that. Also, I have always been, and will always be RenxPiri.

Now let's get this over with: I do not own Shaman King. Pairings might have gone over a LITTLE differently if I did.

Now, this story has a lot of memories and dreams. All of these will be in _italics_. Because there are some points where one dream fades into another a ## will be used at the start and end of each one. This either means that a new dream or memory has started or you are back in the present day/real world. A single # indicates that you are still in the real world or the same memory.

Credit for the story picture goes to MayaPatch on DeviantArt mayapatch dot deviantart dot com/art/Ren-X-Pirika-546996100

#

 **Chapter 1**

#

"Are you really sure they'll like me?" she asked nervously, playing with the ring around her finger.

Giving a sigh he rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure. And if they don't then we will just come back here and stay."

"I can't make you choose between me and your family Ren-kun," she told him sadly.

"Pirika look at me," he ordered, only continuing once their eyes met. "It wouldn't even be a choice. I would choose you in a heartbeat and never look back. Nothing could ever make me leave you. Please believe that."

She couldn't help but giggle at his words. No one else would believe how gentle the Tao could be when it concerned her. He never showed it to anyone else. Although he had never said it out loud, he loved the blue haired Ainu girl beside him. She was everything he wasn't, always happy, giggly, childish, hyper, innocent, yet still he loved her more than anything else in the world.

He told her she was lucky when he had talked to her brother about it instead of just making her run away with him, but really he wouldn't have had it any other way. He had respect for her brother and knew how it would hurt him if she left without a word. Even more the deciding factor was how close the two were and how lost she would be without him. Horohoro had basically raised her and the two had become nearly inseparable over time. Moving in to kiss her they were pulled apart by the screeching of brakes outside and the jerk of a crash.

Opening his eyes Ren found himself laying on the asphalt bleeding. Looking around he tried to take in his surroundings despite how blurry his vision was. It was obvious that he had been thrown from the car with how both his vehicle and a few more were totally wrecked behind him. The one thing he couldn't see was her.

Forcing himself to his feet he could see the blood on the ground near him from where she had landed and a trail that led away from the street but nothing more. She had to have been in worse shape than him, at the very least because of how much blood the other puddle contained. It looked like mere moments had passed by as people from the other vehicles were just crawling out and the crowd had only started to form.  
"Pirika!" he managed to call as he started to follow the short trail.

#

"Get your filthy hands off me you worthless human!" they heard a man shout from the back of an ambulance.

Horohoro and Yoh shared a look and ran forward. Coming into view they weren't all that surprised to see nearly a half dozen men trying to restrain Ren and treat his deepest wounds.

"You really should let him go. I promise that we will take care of him, but if you don't back off he's going to hurt you," Yoh explained quickly as Horohoro dragged Ren away from all the people. Neither of the other men had seen this kind of anger and hatred in his eyes since he rebelled against his father not long after the group of them met.

He tried to fight off the blue haired man but he pinned his arms behind him and held him there. "Let me go you bastard I need to find her!"

Yoh put a gentle hand on the other man's arm. "Ren you need to calm down! You're losing a lot of blood and we need to understand what happened."

They could see the caring friend they knew struggling with the angry child he once was. "Let me go, she's gone!" he snapped.

Horror filled Horohoro as he glanced over the scene franticly. Letting the other man loose he faced him. "Where is Pirika?" he begged, eyes filled with barely controlled panic. "What happened to my sister?"

The cold, dark look in Ren's eyes showed which side of him had won. "I have no use for beings such as yourselves! Now remove yourself from my sight."  
Yoh and Horohoro shared a worried look. Whatever happened had sent Ren back to the hateful person he was before them.

When they gave him no response Ren jerked away from them and tried to walk away. One of his hands gripping his arm tightly in an attempt to stop the bleeding but it wasn't working well. With the extent of his injuries and the amount of blood he had already lost Yoh knew he wouldn't get very far. No matter what the Chinese man wanted at this point, even he couldn't go on like this for long.

Knowing what he had to do, at least for the moment, Yoh came up from behind and knocked Ren hard on the back of his head, causing the now unconscious man to crumple to the ground.

"But what about my sister? I need to find her," Horohoro exclaimed in desperation.

"I promise we will Horo but if Ren doesn't get help he could die. The people here have searched close by and found nothing so she isn't here. Once Ren is awake again we will make him tell us what happened. Until then he needs us more."

Unable to keep a few fearful tears from falling he just nodded as Yoh threw his friend over his shoulder and started back to the onsen.

#

Faust had gone back to Germany for a week to assist with his family's clinic, but by a stroke of luck he had finished early. It was supposed to be another two or three days until he returned but he had flown in late last night instead.

"What happened?" he asked sharply seeing the unconscious man they returned with.

"There was a crash of some kind and that's all we know."

"Bring him upstairs."

Once they set him on the bed, Faust started to work on him while Yoh got some rope from outside. The German man looked up at him in shock. "What are you doing?"

It was one of the hardest things Yoh had ever done, but he tied Ren securely down, allowing only enough slack so Faust could roll him slightly to examine his back.

"What are you doing Yoh?" Tamao asked in surprise as she walked in.

"What I need to. Go downstairs and call Lyserg. Tell him we need him here as fast as possible, nothing takes priority."

Sending one last fearful look around the room the pink haired woman ran out to follow the orders she was given.

Looking back down at his friend Yoh couldn't help feeling bad about what he had done. The problem was he didn't see another choice. Ren had proved with the paramedics that he was not afraid to use violence at this point. He obviously wanted to get Pirika back, and would stop at nothing to do it.

Their best chance to find her would be by working together. Ren was the only one who had been in the accident, who had seen exactly what happened. Yoh and the others needed that knowledge. Not to mention that if Ren got out he would cause problems and they didn't need another thing to deal with right now. Hopefully if they got Pirika back, they'd get the old Ren back again as well.

#

Although he was alone in the room, the entire house knew when he woke up again. His angry curses in Mandarin could be heard for nearly a block. "Well, I guess it's time," Yoh muttered sadly to the group as he led them up the stairs.

As if Ren realized where he was, his shouts turned to Japanese, letting them understand for the first time. "Damn you! Bastards such as yourselves cannot control me. You will all be sent to hell before I will be successfully contained!"

Manta gave a nervous laugh at the threats. "I kinda wish he had stuck to Chinese."

Opening the door they saw Ren pulling at his bindings so hard they were digging into his wrists. "Free me or I will kill you all!" he raged, any sanity missing from his eyes as he looked over at all of them.

"Ren, calm down. We need to find Pirika and we can't do it without you. Try and remember what happened, please," Yoh begged.

Ren stiffened at the name he knew so well. "She doesn't need your help. I can save her by myself. Now release me you fools!"

Turning to the blond doctor Yoh was desperate. "What's wrong with him?"

"It could be that he suffered a damaging blow to the head that has affected his mind in some way, or it could be the loss of Pirika simply unbalanced him to this point. He was never what I would call emotionally stable; this could have pushed him over the edge."

"Well what can we do for him?"

Faust just shook his head. "There is little we can do besides give him time to heal and hope that his mind recovers as well. In this state he is unlikely to tell us anything about Pirika's whereabouts."

"But he is the only one who knows anything about my sister! Make him tell us!"

Putting a hand on Horohoro's shoulder Yoh spoke comfortingly. "Lyserg will be here in a matter of hours and at that point he can dowse for her. None of us are giving up until we get her back."

Falling to his knees, the other man could do nothing but cry.

#

In the hours that had passed others had begun to arrive. Manta had taken time off work so he could be here to help in any way possible. Ryu had been out on a road trip but once they had managed to contact him he had started back immediately. Yoh was guessing he had taken the speed limits as simple suggestions because he arrived an hour ago and was vague on exactly where he had been. They had even contacted Chocolove and he was going to get a flight as soon as he could.

Once they had finished assembling everyone they could, Anna pulled Yoh into their room. "I'm assuming this is going to be a time intensive operation," she began calmly.

"We don't know anything Anna, she could be anywhere. I know you aren't going to approve of me dropping everything but Pirika needs us. This has to be done."

Looking at her husband with an understanding smile she spoke, her words catching him off guard. "I had been going to suggest we send Hana to Yohmei and Kino. Without him here there will be nothing to distract us."

Giving a happy smile Yoh moved forward and hugged her. Returning the hug Anna whispered one last thought, not bothering to hide her concern. "You need to work fast Yoh. The longer it takes the worse her chances are. She isn't that strong and I've never met anyone more naïve. I doubt she can make it alone."

"I know Anna. We'll find her. We have to."

Anna's reaction might have seemed off to the others with how she normally distanced herself, but Yoh knew better. Over the years she had grown fond of all of their friends, especially the Ainu maiden. Tamao had always been more of a sister or a close cousin to the Ikato making Pirika the first girl she had been around just as a friend.

Like everyone, she could be driven crazy by the hyper, excitable girl, but really that was part of her charm. She wouldn't be Pirika if she could keep herself from bouncing on the bed or stay quiet for even an hour, but they loved her for it all. Pirika was one of a kind, and losing her scared them as much as losing any of the others would have.

#

A loud knock sent Yoh and Horohoro running to the door and when they opened it they saw a flustered Lyserg.

"Would you mind telling me why I was dragged out of my bed for this?"

"Pirika is missing," Yoh explained before Horohoro had a chance to fall into hysterics and confuse him more.

"What do you mean missing?"

"She was going to China with Ren and there was an accident of some kind. We don't know any more than that." Yoh was trying to explain quickly and calmly in order not to work up the Ainu.

"How can you not know anymore? The plane ride is about fifteen hours why haven't you asked him about it yet?"

Now Yoh was starting to look uncomfortable, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Maybe we should just show you," he suggested, only adding to Lyserg's confusion. Sensing how shaken everyone was he followed quickly without asking any more questions.

What he saw stunned him. Sitting on the bed yanking at the ropes that held him was Ren, but not a Ren he had ever seen before. "I demand that you release me you worthless beings! Free me now and I will make your deaths quick!"

Stepping out of the room he looked at Yoh in shock, his face paled out of fear. "What happened to him?" the British man asked in disbelief.

"When he was hurt in the accident and Pirika disappeared something happened and he changed back into who he was before he met all of us."

"He used to be like this? And you allow him in your house? Near your son?"

Now Yoh looked angry for the first time. "I gave him the second chance he deserved. Don't forget that I gave you the same."

At least Lyserg had the sense to be ashamed as he lowered his head a bit. "Sorry Yoh. What can I do to help?"

Acting like the last few seconds had never happened Yoh led him downstairs again. "We need you to dowse for Pirika. Ren isn't telling us anything and we don't have a clue where to start."

Sighing sadly he nodded. "The more I know the more likely this is to work. Tell me everything."

The pair of them sat down at the kitchen table, getting space from the others in the living room. "Bason came to us after the accident. Horohoro and I were here so we ran out after him. The accident had been pretty bad, a half dozen cars including the limo they had been in. They were all trashed and it looked like many of the people involved had been thrown from their vehicles. We heard Ren threatening the EMTs so we went to stop him from attacking them. He was already different by then and Horohoro had to drag him away and restrain him. He said we had to let him go because he had to find her. At that point we realized Pirika wasn't there. I had to knock him out to get him back here. Once Faust was working on him and we had called you I went back to look around but there wasn't a trace of her anywhere. I worked out where Ren must have landed and the spot she most likely hit. There was a short blood trail, but it only led a few feet before it stopped. I tried to follow it and look around the area but there was nothing. That's all we know."

"Can you find me a map of the city?" he asked the brunette quickly. Giving a nod Yoh walked out. Truthfully Lyserg knew very little about the Ainu girl besides the basics. He knew her name, he knew she was overly hyper and loud, and he knew how hard she worked to help her brother. The Usui siblings had always been very close and he could only guess what a wreck Horohoro must be at this point.

Yoh brought a map out and let Lyserg work while he went back out to the living room. "Can you give him anything to knock him out again? All he is going to do up there is hurt himself."

Faust nodded and headed upstairs, allowing the others to breathe a sigh of relief when the shouting and crashing finally stopped.

#

Her eyes fluttered open slowly, but everything was off and confusing. It looked like she was in a tent of some sort, but she had no memory of how she got here. Actually she had no memories at all. Sitting up she couldn't help but notice how wrong the loose white silky dress she wore felt on her skin. She didn't know what was wrong about it, it just was.

Moving around the room she ran her fingers over all the items, trying to bring back any memories at all, but only fuzzy feelings filled her. Suddenly she heard a noise behind her and without any idea of what she was doing she grabbed the dagger she had seen on the table and spun around ready to fight.

Behind her was a brunette man with hair down to his waist and chocolate brown eyes.

He felt somewhat familiar, as if she had known him a long time ago, but for the life of her she couldn't place him. "Who are you and what have you done to me?" she asked angrily, keeping her fighting stance.

"I rescued you. Your brother, your boyfriend, all of your friends, they abandoned you saying you were too weak. I found you barely alive a few days ago and brought you here to heal."

"W-why can't I remember anything?" she asked nervously.

"I don't know," he told her sadly. "They must have hurt you before I found you."

"But you said they were my friends, why would they hurt me?"

The man moved slowly forward and took the blade from her grip and set it down before he pulled her into her arms. Feeling safe in his warm embrace she started to cry.

"You deserve better than them. Not only do I promise to keep you safe but I will also ensure you will get your revenge." She cried until she was exhausted again and he led her to the bed, pulling her down beside him.

#

When she woke the next morning she could remember the few events from the night before, but still couldn't remember anything prior to that. Rolling over, she saw the same man she had seen the night before watching her. "Are you finally awake my pet?" Trying to ignore the way she wanted to pull away from the nickname he had given her, she nodded.

"Do you remember anything else?"

"No. I don't even know who you are. Just that I think I know you."

Refusing to show his glee at how well this had worked he gave her a small sad smile. "I am Hao, the true shaman king."

At the word shaman a few scattered images flashed through her mind of a blue haired man with a snowboard, a brunette nearly identical to the man in front of her with a katana and a smaller man with purple hair who had both a spear and a sword. A large soldier was standing behind him, only partially visible. There were more that passed quickly, but for some reason these three stuck out the most.

"Are you starting to remember?"

"Yeah. I can see a group of people and ghosts."

Giving a small smile Hao nodded. "Most likely it was your brother and his friends."

"But you said they hurt me?"

"They did. Your brother and another man were trying to train you, but you had less talent than they wanted and sent attacks at you that were far too powerful. Once you had fallen they left, thinking you had no chance."

Trying hard to pull up the images of them she could only find ones where they were all smiling. "I only remember being happy with them," she tried to explain.

Hao put a hand on her shoulder sympathetically. "The real truth is probably too hard for you to process at this point so your mind is blocking it." Instead of trying to remember their faces she tried to remember when they attacked her.

##

 _It started out fuzzy, but slowly, it started to clear. She was standing a small distance away from the snowboarder, who she suspected was her brother and the man with the purple hair, holding a small dagger to defend herself as they came at her again and again. Attack after attack came and at some point she wasn't able to dodge anymore and they all started to hit her. Without saying a word to her they looked at her battered body and walked away._

##

Coming back to the present she found she was crying in Hao's arms. "Don't worry pet. I won't let them hurt you again. Instead I will train you until you can rival them in power and you can get the revenge you so deserve. Would you like that?"

Running through the scene in her mind again she clenched her jaw and nodded.

"Then I will go right away and get what you will need. You are free to wander around the area as you desire, everyone will help you. I shouldn't be gone long, only a few hours."

With that he left and she was alone. She might as well start to explore. If she wanted to stay here and learn from Hao she should at least know the area and the other people here. Walking out she found herself in the middle of a large camp. There were tents scattered around the area with a large fire pit in the middle and people training or doing mock battles in any open space they could find.

The way the dirt and grass felt under her feet was something she liked. Instead of heading in any specific direction she just wandered aimlessly, taking in everything she could. No one approached her, opting instead to give her space but she didn't mind.

Being out in nature like this made her feel comfortable even if she was basically alone. Maybe she could stay this way. Hao seemed to care about her, at least more than her old friends had. They would regret what they had done to her; she was going to make sure of it.

#

After her brunette savior had returned he led her to an area a little distance away and passed the dagger she held the night before over to her.

"This is Oyuki. She is a Yuki-onna," he said motioning to the pale white ghost beside him.

She was actually very pretty, with porcelain skin and smooth dark hair. She was dressed in a white kimono and it looked as if there was snow blowing in the wind around her despite the warmth of the May weather.

"I'm afraid I don't know what type of spirit you used before but I have seen you work with the snow spirit your brother possesses and you seem well connected with the element." Pirika gave a nervous smile as the spirit gave her a small bow. "Take the dagger and create an oversoul however you feel comfortable," Hao instructed.

It took a number of tries but finally she managed to move Oyuki into her dagger and in doing so expand the weapon until it was the size of a sword, the blade of which was made of ice. It was sturdier than she expected it to be and when she touched it, the cold was more than she had ever felt before. Now that she had the basics he started running through things with her and it all came back quickly.

#

She had been at the camp only a week when the first nightmare shook her. The scene of her last birthday replayed for her, but it was fuzzy, as if she was watching it through a clouded lens.

##

 _Ren had already helped her finish her homework and they were just waiting for Horohoro to get off work. Pirika was impatient because Ren was taunting her with a wrapped present he had gotten her, but refused to let her have it until her brother was ready to give her what he had gotten as well._

 _It felt like days had passed by the time she heard the front door open. He must have been expecting her reaction, because he didn't look surprised when she came running out from her bedroom, bouncing with excitement._

 _Giving an amused grin at the frustrated Tao that walked up behind her, he hugged her quickly. "So I was thinking we could eat dinner and maybe watch a movie before you get to open anything."_

 _She knew he was just yanking her chain but still it aggravated her. Crossing her arms angrily over her chest she glared at him. "Onii-chan!" she whined._

 _His snickering started to upset her even more but before she could yell he walked to the kitchen and pulled a box out of one of the cupboards. He passed it over to his sister, pulling it back for a moment before she grabbed it. "You can see it but you have to wait until Tamao gets here to open it. She's bringing dinner in the next twenty minutes or so."_

 _Pirika gave an angry stomp but reached for the box, accepting his terms. It was heavier than she had expected but only on the bottom. The top felt all but empty._

 _"Can I shake it?" she asked hopefully._

 _Horohoro rolled his eyes. "I learned not to give you breakable things a long time ago."_

 _Giving him another glare she shook the box a little. Nothing was moving around on the bottom, but the middle seemed to be filled with littler things that were shifting around. She had a concentrated look on her face as she tried to guess the contents. It was overwhelming frustration that made her set it down and walk away._

 _Tamao arrived only a few minutes later, to the delight of both men. Once Pirika had let go of the box she had started pacing circles around the room, making them dizzy. Looking between the anticipation Pirika had, and the way Ren and Horo were about one lap from pinning her to the wall, the seer giggled._

 _Before she could be ambushed she handed over her own gift. When Pirika sent her brother a hopeful look he rolled his eyes and nodded. Sitting down on her favorite cushion she pulled the paper off. Tamao smiled happily as Pirika opened up a new, large scrapbook._

 _"Now you can get rid of that shoe box held together by duct tape that you keep your pictures in."_

 _Pirika laughed. She had been using the same box to hold her pictures for years and every time it would rip she just added another layer of tape to keep it secure. Leaning over she gave her friend a hug._

 _Next Ren pushed something towards her. She had a feeling that this one was breakable so she held it more carefully than she had the others. After she ripped the wrapping she saw she had been right. In her hands was a photo printer that could be hooked right up to her camera. For months she had been trying to save for this, but her brother had been getting less hours lately so all of her earnings were put right into bills and other necessities._

 _"How did you know?" she asked. Knowing that he might do this, she never uttered a word about it._

 _"You aren't as sneaky as you think," he told her with that cocky smirk she liked._

 _"What are you having Bason stalk me or something?" she asked, not wanting to let it go._

 _"No I haven't, and I won't tell you my secret or I won't be able to use it again."_

 _Pirika couldn't decide whether she was angry that he was snooping, or happy that he had put that much work into finding out what she really wanted. They were staring at each other until she finally broke. That damn smirk won her over every time and she hated it. Well, she pretended she did._

 _"Thank you Ren," she said softly. He was the one person here she wouldn't hug right now, since he was the only one who wouldn't appreciate it. The look in his eyes though promised she would get as much of a make-out session as she wanted once they were alone._

 _There was a blush on her cheeks Horohoro tried to ignore as he pushed the heavy box towards her. Something made her think it was picture related as well, but she didn't know what it would be. When she opened it she saw it was closely linked to Tamao's. The box was filled with all kinds of scrapbooking supplies. It had everything from crimped scissors and stacks of pretty paper to stickers and ribbons._

 _She had been buying a few little things here and there over the past few months but hadn't really gotten enough to do much. With all this she would be able to assemble the entire book and use all of her favorite pictures. Jumping forward she hugged her brother tightly and kissed his cheek. "Thank you Onii-chan," she giggled._

 _Before anyone could stop her she ran to her room to dig the photographs out of her closet. Turning to run back out to the living room she ran right into Ren who took the box from her and set it down on the bed. Pirika smiled as he moved in to kiss her._

##

Pirika sat up, panting desperately. The second his lips had touched hers she had been jerked from the dream. Hao was still asleep next to her and feeling the tears welling up she got up and left the tent quickly, not wanting to wake him when she started crying.

As soon as she felt the wind blow against her skin she shivered. Running her hands over her arms she realized that she must have woken in a cold sweat because there was a thin layer of water covering her. Luckily she had grown up in the frigid north so a slight breeze wouldn't bother her all that much, especially after what she had just seen.

Not wanting to be bothered she walked past the edge of camp where there was a small lake she liked to sit by. Walking out onto the dock she sat at the end and dipped her toes in the water. For a few minutes she tried to empty her mind and just relax, but it wasn't working well.

After that she just tried to avoid thinking about her dream, but when you only remembered a week it didn't give you much to go on. In the end it just kept coming back, time after time, so she let it. The dream was more real than she had ever thought possible.

It was as if she could feel the wrapping paper under her fingers and she could smell the food cooking in the kitchen. The scariest part was how happy she had felt. She felt safe and loved and excited and a number of other emotions she could have only imagined before. Sure feelings came to her since she had woken up, but never anything as intense as the second Ren had kissed her.

Only two names had come back to her yet, that of her brother and boyfriend. Pulling the ring she kept on a chain out from under her shirt she edited her thought. Hao had said he was her boyfriend but the diamond ring in her hands told a different tale.

She couldn't remember getting it. All she knew was it was on her finger when she woke. It also hadn't been on her finger in the dream she just had. Did that mean that he hadn't given it to her, or did it mean the dream was just that, a dream?

As if not knowing who she was wasn't confusing enough things just had to get more complicated. Up until now she had trusted Hao completely, but did this give her doubt? Of course it did, but should it? All she had was one little flash of something that she couldn't confirm. When she saw the things Hao reminded her of she was awake. Didn't that mean that it was more likely to be true?

If her friends did care about her, why wouldn't they have come for her? It had been five days since she woke up and the large gash on the back of her head made her certain she was out for at least a few days. That meant they had a week to find her already and she was still alone.

More than enough time had passed where they would have come if they wanted to. Their absence proved their priorities. Taking a deep breath, she got to her feet and walked slowly back to her tent.

#

"I'm tired of wandering around this stupid city because of your mistakes. Just find my sister!" Horohoro yelled at the dowser as they walked back into the onsen. He had every right to be upset and Lyserg knew that. She had been gone a week and they had looked in every corner of the huge city.

"I'm sorry Horo. You know this isn't a perfect art and I still haven't gotten any strong readings. At the moment we are just going off little pulls. Truthfully I don't think she is in the city anymore."

"How could she have gotten out of Tokyo without anyone noticing?" the Ainu snapped angrily. "She had to have been hurt at least as bad as Ren and she isn't anywhere near as strong as he is. I don't see how she could have gone 10 feet, let alone out of the city."

"Maybe she didn't go by herself. It's always possible someone found her and took her somewhere."

"But she disappeared so fast," Yoh told them. "Unless someone saw what happened they wouldn't have had time to grab her. No one on the street saw anyone else come or go."

"Maybe it is time you start thinking about the other possibility," Anna suggested dully, stepping out from the living room.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Horo snapped angrily.

"I know none of you want to admit it, but if she was hurt worse than Ren and didn't get help right away she couldn't have survived."

"NO!" Horohoro shouted back at her, face pale, before he ran off to deal with his pain alone.

"Would searching for a person be different from searching from a body?"

Lyserg didn't want to admit it, but she was right. He was looking for Pirika, but if she had died and her soul was gone he wouldn't be able to find her.

"Maybe tomorrow you should try searching for her body," she suggested in a tone much softer than her normal one before she walked away.

#

Ren could feel something fighting to keep him under, but he was fighting harder. His mind was too fuzzy to remember what he was supposed to do, but he knew it was important and it could not wait. The last time he had woken up he had start shouting and cursing, trying everything he could to break free. This time would be different. If he didn't let them know he was awake he would be able to get out of this.

When his eyes finally opened he saw the room basked in fading light. That would give him a number of hours to free himself and get a fair head start.

Suddenly an image of her forced its way into the front of his mind and it took everything he had not to start screaming again.

Theses idiots knew she was gone but they kept him from helping her. Not a single one of them would be able to find her. They weren't good enough. Only he was. Despite the rage that was bubbling its way up he stayed in control. If he couldn't get out of this nothing could save her and that was the only thing that mattered now.

Trying to confirm his situation he looked around the room. His arms and legs were both restrained and judging by the IV in his arm he had been out for a few days. The longer he was looking around the more he could feel the hazy cloud of medication they had used slipping away. It was only minutes before he was able to think clearly. The drug was still there, but he had buried it behind his determination. Nothing would stop him.

Looking down at his bindings he tried to find a way out of them. It was only a reinforced rope, but whoever had tied him knew what they were doing. Luckily they hadn't bothered to tighten them because they were sure he was out cold. Fools underestimated him. They would not make that mistake again. He was sure.

There was blood on the rope around his wrists and cuts to match so he must have been fighting harder than he thought. The pain hadn't even occurred to him yet and he hoped it would stay that way. He started to twist his wrist back and forth, testing how loose it was. It was a little too tight to slip out of on his own, but some liquid might help.

Without a further thought he pulled hard, reopening the cuts from before. He gave a cold smirk as he felt the blood flow down his hand. It took a little coaxing but he was able to get out without too much struggling. As soon as his hand was free he started untying the other bindings.

Once the restraints were gone, he yanked the IV from his arm and he got quickly to his feet. He hadn't been expecting the rush of disorientation that washed over him. There was a deep wound on his leg and the pain nearly sent him to the floor.

Gritting his teeth he limped over to the desk that held Faust's medical supplies. Digging through it, he found the morphine the addicted doctor kept hidden. There were little stashes with each of his medical kits. Everyone here knew about them.

This should be enough to last until the pain became manageable. The drop to the ground from this second story window would be painful and he didn't have time to wait for it to subside before he could escape into the darkness. Going to the closet he pulled out his kwan dao before he knew he was ready.

"Bason," he ordered sharply.

When the warrior appeared before him he was obviously concerned. "Bocchama you should not be up!" It had been years since Bason had seen such a cold, hateful glare from his master and it worried him.

"Your opinion is of no concern to me. Now are you going to do your duty and obey me or are you going to prove how pathetic you are and break your promise to the Tao family?"

As much as he hated it, he wouldn't leave his master. Not like this. Ren was in no state to be alone right now and if Bason abandoned him he might not get another chance to help. Even if Ren wasn't right, Bason would do everything in his power to assist him.

His first chance came when Ren threw himself out the window. It was obvious that he wouldn't have landed safely so Bason forced a merge to soften the blow.

Instead of helping it just made him angrier. "If I have a need for you I will summon you. Until then stay out of the way." Shaking his head sadly the warrior followed, only hoping things wouldn't get too much worse.

#

The entire house was depressed through the night and into the next morning when Lyserg took out the map again. Wanting to give him space Yoh decided to check on Ren, but when he opened the door he saw only an empty bed and the curtains flowing in the wind.

"Faust!" he hollered quickly, pleased when the doctor came instantly. Yoh pushed the door fully open and led the German into the room.

"Scheisse," the man snapped softly looking at the IV that had been pulled from Ren's arm. "His system must have overcome the sedative I was using. I didn't expect it to happen this quickly."

"Is he healed enough to be up and about?"

Now the blond shrugged. "I wouldn't recommend it but we've seen him fight through far worse."

Sighing Yoh tried to think. "At this point I still think we need to focus on Pirika at the very least so we will know what happened. Horohoro can't handle much more of this. I'll get Ryu to search the city for a sign of Ren. Even if we do find him though, I don't know what we could do to stop him." Faust nodded and left the room.

#

The day had been just as unhelpful as all the others days had been by the time they got back to the Onsen but they were slightly more hopeful than when they had left that morning. They hadn't found a body and Lyserg wasn't getting a strong reaction looking for that either so now it was most likely she wasn't in the city.

Not that that was much help. At least if she had been here they would have a limited search area. If she wasn't then she could be anywhere. They wouldn't even know where to start. The only thing they knew was that she couldn't have gotten out on her own. They had just settled down when Ryu came running in, pieces of his wooden sword in both hands.

"I take it you found him?" Yoh asked sadly.

"Yes master Yoh. But short pants was not himself."

"Has he attacked anyone?"

"A few people who got in his way were injured, but not too badly. Mostly he is just destroying everything he comes across."

"Until people really start getting hurt I don't want to deal with him. The fight would be long and not only would he get further injuries, but he might take a few of us out of commission for a while as well. Right now we should focus on finding any trace of Pirika. I think we are going to have to start searching outside the city and that is going to take time and people to do properly."

"Come on Yoh. He's angry. He won't have any focus and should go down easy," Horohoro said, not understanding the logic.

His words didn't calm Yoh; instead he only shook his head. "But he has a purpose, something he's fighting for. You of all people should know what kind of fuel that is."

"But master Yoh are you just going to let him rampage through the city this way?" Ryu asked helplessly.

"That's all we can do for now," Yoh muttered to the surprise of everyone in the room. It was obviously a painful decision for him to make, choosing who to help. Normally he wanted to help everyone, but he was right. Pirika needed them more. "If he gets too out of control I'll go after him myself, but we'll leave it for now."

#

Author note: Hope you enjoyed this. Please read and review. That will let me know I'm not the only one still in love with Shaman King!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Okay so I am a terrible person and forgot to release a chapter on Monday. Instead I will do 1 today and another tomorrow. Also there are more dreams/memories in this chapter. I hope it doesn't get confusing. Memories/dreams are in italics.

 **Chapter 2**

She lay in bed tossing and turning as another strange dream filled her mind. It had been a full week since the first one that had woken her in a cold sweat.

#

 _"I don't understand Ren-kun. Why do you want to hide this from your sister? What's the point of keeping us a secret?"_

 _Only glancing down at her, Ren kept walking. He had been trying to avoid this conversation and still reassure her at the same time, but it wasn't working._

 _Jun would arrive tomorrow and he needed her to be cooperative._

 _"You know I care about you Piri. This just isn't the time to tell anyone yet."_

 _"What do you mean tell anyone? I'm pretty sure the others figured it out a while ago." She was getting whiny and it was starting to irritate him, but he had been expecting it so he kept his cool._

 _Maybe she deserved to feel this way. He was keeping things from her, but it was in an attempt to protect her, or at the very least keep her from worrying. This was his problem and he didn't want to bring her into it._

 _"I don't want my family to find out yet. It isn't time for that."_

 _A few tears filled her eyes as she stomped her foot and quit walking, making him turn back to face her. "It's just Jun! She's your sister Ren-kun. She loves you. Why would she care?"_

 _Ren growled at her stubborn nature. "Pirika don't do this. Not here, not now."_

 _"Oh I'm sorry is there a better place to discuss the fact that you're ashamed of me? If there is I'd love to know about it."_

 _"I'm not ashamed of you snow bunny. This just isn't the time."_

 _"Isn't time for what?" she asked, tears finally falling._

 _Sighing he gave in. "My parents shouldn't know yet, alright? If Jun knows there is a chance she would let something slip."_

 _"You don't think they'll like me," she whispered sadly._

 _Putting a hand on her back he pulled her into motion again. "It's not that. It won't be anything specific to you. My father has had my entire life planned since the moment I was born. It's going to be quite a surprise when he finds out I have no intention of playing his stupid game."_

 _"But if you actually want to marry me he's going to need to know eventually."_

 _Giving a disgusted grunt he moved his hand away from her. "If I could do this without him knowing I would. I'd rather go back through hell than deal with that man."_

 _"I thought you straightened things out with your father years ago."_

 _"Hardly, I got him off my back for a time, but nothing will keep him from trying to control me."_

 _"Then why are you with me Ren-kun," she asked sadly, as if afraid of his response._

 _"I care about you," he told her simply._

 _"Then why don't we just run away?"_

 _Giving a sigh Ren answered honestly. "As much as I despise even the thought of him, they are still my family. I've run the clan for years now and I don't want to leave them. If it wasn't for you I would have gone back after I finished school. How I would have survived being around him that much I haven't a clue, but it's home so I would have managed somehow."_

 _The pair of them stayed silent for a few minutes until they got close to the Usui's apartment when she finally looked up at him hopefully. "I'll do what you want while she's here if you promise me something."_

 _Opening the door and heading for the stairs he hid a small smile. "And what is your request?"_

 _"Promise me you love me Ren-kun. That I'm not just a game."_

 _As he shut the door of the apartment behind them he gave her his casual smirk and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. "Stupid snow bunny," he whispered, a soft tone in his voice that was only used for her._

 _It wasn't what she really wanted, but she knew Ren, and that was the best she would get from him. Actually, for him, it was extremely sweet. So after looking down sadly at the ring still on her finger she pulled it off and slipped it into her pocket._

#

Just like the last time, she woke up in a panic and left the bed so she wouldn't wake Hao. Hopefully she could sleep later, it wouldn't happen now. Between being awake half the night all the time and the way the training exhausted her she had no sleep schedule. She just napped here and there. Before she left the tent she grabbed her dagger and headed out to the lake again. Something about this dream was even more unsettling than the last one.

If Ren had been serious about her, he would never have asked her to hide what they had. All of their friends must have been in on the joke because otherwise they would have stepped in to help her. Besides, if her brother didn't care, no one would. Most likely Ren knew that if his family found out there would be questions asked that he wouldn't want to answer.

Sure he had said all the right things and had given her a good excuse, but now she didn't buy it. She believed some parts of the dreams were true because she could feel it, but others she was unsure of.

When she got to the shore she slipped off her sandals and stood in the shallows, running through some of the routines Hao had taught her. If she was going to try and think this through she might as well do something useful at the same time.

Multi-tasking should be able to help her as well because when she confronted all of them they wouldn't fight fair and attack her one on one. Hao had said he would keep the others away, but if anyone got past him she needed to be prepared.

Once she was started she went back to her thoughts on her dreams. Some parts of her dreams brought strong feelings that were impossible to ignore. For instance, when the combination of Ren and his father came up she was overwhelmed with fear. Something told her the deep hatred Ren had for him was real.

Why she didn't know. The other bits were still foggy, but that fear and hate were as strong as anything else she had felt so far. As true as that was though, she still didn't believe Hao was lying. She must have been extremely naïve to believe his bull shit excuse about not wanting them to know yet. The entire idea just screamed that he was trying to cover something up.

All she had wanted was for him to tell her that she wasn't a game and that he loved her. He had done neither. It was as if a little kiss could make her ignore the lies he was telling. Now she was sure that the ring she wore had come from him, but it was probably a token to keep her from asking questions for a little longer.

What hit her deepest was the fact that she had fallen for it. She had actually been stupid enough to believe he loved her. And the others had just watched it happen. They had to have known what he was doing, but no one stepped in. Ren and her brother had played games with her and then attacked her and they did nothing.

Pirika may have been confused by a lot of things right now, but she knew, without a doubt, that she would make them pay. Before she could let her thoughts play through her mind any longer her sword suddenly melted. She had to clear her mind to realize Hao had done it.

He was standing behind her with a knowing smile. "Problems my pet?"

Giving a defeated sigh she moved out of the water and sat down on the rocks. "I'm just confused," she admitted softly.

Hao sat next to her and started running a hand up and down her back. "What about?"  
Biting her lip she tried to decide what to say. She had been about to tell him the truth but something held her back. Choosing to trust her instincts she said the next thing that came to mind.

"I don't even know who I am." Since this had also been bothering her it wasn't actually a lie.

"Who you were doesn't matter," he told her simply. "The only important thing is who you could be." His answer didn't seem to help her at all as she stared out over the water. There was a smug look on his face as he grabbed her chin and turned it towards him.

Leaning in he kissed her deeply. At first she responded, but when he touched her leg the end of her first dream came back to her. She could see Ren coming towards her and the happiness that had filled her when the Chinese man's lips had met hers. In that one moment she had felt so content.

Suddenly it was as if she had been electrocuted and she pulled away with a gasp. Hao must not have felt it because he just tilted his head. "Something wrong pet?" Her heart was racing and her thoughts were an indecipherable jumble.

"N-nothing. I'm fine," she assured him.

"Did you remember something?"

"No I didn't," she said, glad she didn't have to lie this time. Something inside told her she shouldn't let Hao know about how conflicted she was, but when she lied, he knew. She didn't know how, but she would see a glint of frustration in his eye. He didn't know anything specific, only that she wasn't telling the truth and it was getting hard for her to keep up the smiles.

For now she needed time and space to think things through. "I-I need to be alone," she sputtered, jumping to her feet and running towards the forest. As if she wasn't confused enough before, her reaction to Hao's attention made her cry she was so confused and desperate.

When she reached the shelter of the trees she slowed, but kept up a light jog. Where she was going didn't matter, she just wanted to be alone under the stars. Finally she fell to the ground sobbing.

The shock she received when Hao touched her leg terrified her. It had come out of nowhere and she didn't have a clue what it meant. The pain had been real, but had stopped as soon as his hand had pulled back.

Was it possible that there was a part of her buried deep inside that remembered more than she thought? Or was it that the dreams of Ren had more of an impact on her than she realized. If the former was true, how could she learn what it had been trying to tell her? However if it was the latter, why was she comfortable around Hao in every other circumstance.

Well that wasn't entirely true. She trusted Hao more than anyone at this point because he had cared for her and was helping her, but when he called her his pet she felt a little ping inside. It could have been fear, regret, even disgust, she didn't know.

The shock had to have come from somewhere and if Hao didn't feel it that meant it had to have been just her. Pirika couldn't help but feel just as helpless as when she had first opened her eyes. If anything this was worse. There was little to panic about when your mind was a blank slate, but when it was a web of miss matched stories and memories she didn't know where to start.

She would sort it out though, at least enough so she could feel safe with Hao. He was all she had now and she couldn't lose him too. It was possible that both her dreams and what Hao told her was true, even likely maybe. At least that was the conclusion she had come to recently.

The only question that didn't answer was why she felt that electrical current. Closing her eyes, she leaned against a tree, hoping the smell of the grass and the sound of the wind blowing through the branches would bring something to her.

#

"Bocchama maybe we should go back."

"Damn it Bason I have no use for them. At best they will slow me down and she doesn't have an unlimited amount of time. With every hour that passes her odds decrease."

"Maybe they have learned something more."

The warrior had spent the last few days trying to convince his master that his friends weren't against him, and that they cared about her just as much as he did. The problem was Ren's mind was beyond his reach. All he could do now was try and guide him with the kind of logic he couldn't avoid.

Ren had proved that he would happily go to any length to find her so that was all he could use against him. There was a chance the others could help him, but for them to get that chance they had to be able to catch him again. Bason wanted to find Pirika much as Ren did. Ren's feelings for the girl, no matter how reserved, couldn't be hidden when they were joined this way.

No matter what type of oversoul was used, you always felt a connection to the other. Pirika meant the world to Ren and it was proved to Bason again and again, each time they merged. "You haven't gotten any new information since the accident, they could have learned much in that time."

Ren turned around to respond but was suddenly zapped as if by lightning. It hadn't been all that painful, just unexpected enough to bring him to his knees.

"Bocchama what's wrong?"

"I don't know," he snarled, forcing himself to his feet.

"Are you alright?"

"Damn it Bason I don't care about me. All I know is that she is running out of time and I have nothing!"

"Then we should return to the onsen. At the very least you can be sure you have all the relevant facts." Ren couldn't shake the dread that had remained after the electric shock he had received. He didn't know what it meant, but he was going to get a lot more forceful.

#

Leaning against the large pine tree she had been lulled to sleep by the sounds of nature. Things like the wind, the water, and the animals made her feel safe in a way nothing else could. The next dream came then, only hours after the second.

#

 _"What aren't you telling me?" She asked through her tears._

 _"I'm telling you everything you need to know," he snapped. He already wasn't happy about being called back like this and her whining made him want to destroy something._

 _"You've done this three times now and you never say a word about where you're going, just that you might call."_

 _"It is family business, it has nothing to do with you."_

 _"Nothing to do with me? Your father calls you up out of the blue and you drop everything to go to him. You promised you would take me to the dance this weekend!"_

 _Grabbing a few things from his drawers he continued packing his bag, trying hard not to lose his temper. "You know I have no patience for things like that. I only agreed to shut you up!"_

 _Pirika took a step back and even her tears stopped. He regretted his words the second he saw her reaction. She recoiled as if he had slapped her and in her mind he basically had._

 _Saying he had done it to shut her up was a low blow and he knew it. One of Pirika's biggest fears was how annoying other people found her. Ren knew that. In truth he thought her childish antics were cute most of the time._

 _When he told her he had done something just to shut her up it made her think he really did see her as a childish brat. He knew it would hurt her, he was just upset, with this fight, with his father, with everything._

 _He didn't move to stop her as she stepped forward and slapped him hard across his face. "Maybe I won't be waiting here when you get back." Spinning around she headed for the door._

 _"Damn it snow bunny you know you don't mean that," he called as she slammed the door of the apartment._

 _Most likely she was planning on walking home and though he would rather have delivered her, he didn't have time to try and win her back at the moment._

 _That could be dealt with later, right now he had to get back or deal with his father's temper. Once he was finished packing he left, making only one quick call._

 _#_

 _Horohoro had been waiting for her to get back and when she did, he gave an amused smile. "You really messed up this time buddy," he muttered under his breath, seeing the state she was in._

 _Pirika was prone to overreacting and he suspected that's what had happened here. Well that and Ren had been stupid like usual and lost all control of his temper. She had pushed past him and went straight to her room, sobbing the entire way._

 _Following slowly he found her sitting on her bed with her head buried in her hands. "Let's talk Piri," he suggested softly._

 _"I-don't-wanna-talk," she sobbed. "I just never-wanna-see him again."_

 _Wrapping his arm around her he tried not to laugh. When she was upset she could get overly dramatic. Even if things were worse than Ren had said, she would feel better in a few days and regret this whole thing._

 _"Pirika you need to settle down a bit."_

 _"Oh so you're taking his side?" she asked angrily._

 _"I'm not taking sides Piri. I think you're both over reacting."_

 _"If you know his side then you already talked to him. Does he think you can convince me he's sorry?"_

 _Giving a sigh, Horohoro gave her a last squeeze before standing up. He knew his sister well enough to know she needed to cool off for a bit._

 _"He really does care about you Piri; more than any of us ever thought he could. I know you don't like it when he leaves like this, but his father is a bastard._

 _He's trying to do right by you at the same time as pleasing him. Don't give up on him just because you both lost your temper." Pirika didn't respond as he shut the door and left her alone._

#

She woke up crying again, but this time she wasn't worried about the weird sensation she felt with Hao. If her dream was true like she suspected it was, Ren had slipped up once, and shown her his true feelings.

She didn't know if she would have forgiven him without her brother's urgings, but what mattered was how her brother tried to ignore the fact that he had hurt her. As her brother wasn't it his job to protect her, to keep her safe when her boyfriend used her? How could she ever trust someone who betrayed her like that?

Standing quickly she looked around, trying to determine which direction the camp was in. Just as she gave up she heard an amused voice speak from behind her.

"Are you lost my pet?" Hao cooed softly. Seeing him, the man that had saved her, all of her worries were suddenly gone.

"I'm sorry Hao," she told him, hugging him tightly. She was too close to see the satisfied smile he gave, knowing she was wrapped around his finger.

#

Hao didn't try and kiss her again until the next evening. She held her breath as he moved in, but the shock didn't come until his hand slipped down to her hip. Like before she pulled away sharply.

"D-don't touch me!" she cried instinctively.

He momentarily gave her a cold look, but he managed to hide it with innocent confusion quickly.

"I'm sorry, I'm j-just not ready," she stuttered, trying to make up for her bad reaction.

"It's all right my pet," he assured her, his voice still cool. "You'll come around before long."

His tone made her look down ashamed. "Thank you Hao," she whispered. "I just need some time to straighten things out." Running the back of his hand across her cheek, he nodded. After placing a last kiss on her lips he stood and walked away.

Looking up to the sky she started crying in frustration. She trusted Hao and knew that he was trying to help her, but her body betrayed her. Those stupid dreams were making part of her wish she could go back to being oblivious to Ren's intentions because she missed being so surrounded by people.

She was actually missing something she couldn't even really remember. It made her want to scream. It made her feel more out of control than she thought possible.

The hardest thing to accept was she couldn't go back to before. She knew now what they really thought of her and she couldn't ignore it. Now all she could do was trust Hao to keep her safe and get her what she deserved.

#

Week after week had passed and Hao had finally started letting her work on her own more often. Usually he liked to be within sight of her, he said it was in case something happened to her again. Still, it was nice to be alone, at peace.

At the moment she was out on the far side of the lake training with Oyuki, but she was struggling to focus.

"Is something wrong Mistress?" The snow spirit asked as Pirika started staring off into space for the fourth time in the last hour.

"What?" she asked, being pulled back down to earth.

"You seem distracted. Is there anything you would like to discuss?"

"No, I'm fine," she answered, putting down her knife and sitting on the shore.

Not fooled, Oyuki stayed close. "Have your dreams returned?"

Looking over she considered her friend. She knew Hao wouldn't be pleased to hear about her dreams so she hadn't spoken about them with him. He always told her she needed to stop dwelling on the past. It would only hurt her and she already had enough fuel. The others at the camp hadn't opened up to her much, so as a result she hadn't really talked them over at all. Maybe this could be her chance to sort through them.

"Yes. They started up again a few nights ago."

"What were they about?" Giving a sigh Pirika thought back to the dream she had only that morning.

#

 _Although she had been expecting her brother home soon, she hadn't been expecting him to bring anyone else along. But she could hear him out in the living room talking to someone. There was another voice responding, but it was too faint for her to distinguish._

 _Curious, she walked out to the living room to see what was going on. The pair of them had been waiting for her, Horohoro sitting on the floor and Ren standing near the kitchen. Her brother was smiling but Ren was cautious, waiting to see her reaction._

 _She didn't really know how to react. At first she was overjoyed to see him, but then she remembered she was supposed to be angry. Working hard she managed to keep all emotion off her face and she was pleased to see he looked a little worried._

 _"Why are you here?" she asked coldly._

 _"I just want to talk," he told her gently._

 _"You don't talk. You don't even listen all that well."_

 _While shaking his head as he got to his feet and headed for his room, Horohoro couldn't hide a small smile. Stopping beside her, he spoke softly, only loud enough for her to hear. "Now would be the time to ignore that stubborn streak Piri. I promise you'll regret it if you don't."_

 _Her eyes locked on Ren as her brother shut the door. Thoroughly overwhelmed she took the seat her brother had just abandoned. Ren waited for a few moments before he took the spot beside her. He was careful to give her some space, afraid of upsetting her._

 _"I'm sorry," he told her gently. "I didn't mean what I said."_

 _Keeping her eyes locked on the floor she shook her head. "Yes you did," she snapped._

 _Ren gave a small smirk. "Fine, but I didn't mean it like it sounded. You know how much I hate being around people. I agreed to take you out because I got tired of your begging."_

 _"I shouldn't have to beg!" she cried out desperately. "It shouldn't be a chore for you to go out with me!"_

 _"I like taking you out, I just prefer it be more private. If it'll make you happy I'll bring you to a dozen movies or restaurants, you know that. You just need to decide whether that's enough for you."_

 _"And what about you leaving every time someone beckons you home?"_

 _His gentle look was gone at the thought of his father's summonings. "I am trying to fix that but there will always be times when I don't have a choice. I don't like leaving you like that and I only do it when I don't see another way. If you can't live with that just tell me now."_

 _Looking up at him, she was surprised to see he was nervous. He needed her to hear this, but he knew she might choose to walk away and he didn't know if he could handle that. After her tantrum the day he left he accepted that, at the very least, they needed to talk about this. Still, he didn't like it._

 _"Sometimes I hate myself!" she spat._

 _"Why?" Ren asked in confusion. He expected her to be angry with him, but why would she be angry with herself?_

 _"Because I don't know if I want to keep loving you."_

 _Her words hurt him, but since he still didn't understand he tried not to panic. "What are you talking about?"_

 _Looking up at him, her eyes were filled with a mix of anger and pain, cutting him deeply. "I want to be mad!" she cried angrily. "I want to hate you but I-I can't stop loving you and I hate it."_

 _Ren didn't really know how to respond. She had just admitted she still loved him and wasn't angry, but also said she wished she could hate him. For now it would be better than nothing._

 _"I don't wanna lose you snow bunny," he whispered before he got to his feet. "Call me if you want to talk." Was the last thing she heard before he left. Now that she was alone she tried to sort through her tormenting emotions._

#

 _Being all but cast aside during Jun's week long visit had been harder than she had ever expected it to be. By now it was a habit to look over at him and smile when he spoke, to spend time alone with him nearly every day, it hurt to be ignored for this long._

 _Part of her knew Ren hadn't meant it, but still. They had been planning on going out to dinner and a movie tonight, but Ren would be here any minute and she was still in her pajamas, laying on her bed, and trying to stop her silent tears._

 _Ren had obviously been expecting this because when he walked into her room not long later he was dressed casually and not in any hurry. Not waiting for her to give any response he sat down beside her. It took a few minutes but she finally spoke to him._

 _"How can I think you care about me when pretending I didn't exist was that easy for you?"_

 _"It wasn't easy for me," he told her simply. "This week was one of the hardest I've ever had."_

 _"Why should I believe that?" she asked, still not meeting his gaze._

 _"Stupid snow bunny, I've been with you for over two years. In that time, I've seen you nearly every day, brought you to the playground more often than I care to remember, seen more sappy movies than I knew existed, and still never gotten you to sleep with me. If you think I would have that much patience for anyone else you're delusional."_

 _Smiling through her tears, she thought about it. Before her, he had never set foot on a playground and you could probably count the number of chick-flicks he had seen on one hand. What really stood out the most though was the fact that they hadn't ever had sex._

 _Of course he had tried half a dozen times, but when she asked him to stop he always listened. He had been with more girls than she cared to think about before her, but Ren was her first boyfriend and so she had never been with a guy before. She was scared, and he respected that in a way she had never expected._

 _He ran his thumb gently over her hand, stopping when he felt her bare finger. "Where is it?" he asked, more than a little hurt that she was still keeping it hidden. Reaching up she pulled a chain from under her shirt that hid her ring._

 _Carefully unlatching the hook she placed the chain on her nightstand and let the ring sit in the middle of her hand. After waiting for a few minutes he took it and slid it back onto her finger. He saw it as a good sign when she didn't try and stop him._

 _Sitting up slowly she leaned her head up against his shoulder. Ren was glad she couldn't see the smile he gave as he put one of his arms around her. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, glad she had basically forgiven him._

 _"Why don't we go to the park for a bit," he suggested. Looking up at him with a giggle she nodded._

 _#_

 _The sun had just started setting when she used her feet to stop the swing she was on. Knowing she wanted to talk he sat on the next swing and waited for her to be ready._

 _"I love you Ren-kun," she started gently, "but you can't keep me hidden forever. If you really want me, that means you're family is going to need to know."_

 _"Pirika you don't underst-"_

 _"Wouldn't it be worse if they found out on their own?" she interrupted._

 _Although he hated to admit it, she did have a point. If he told his father, he would be there to deal with the fallout, but if he found out on his own Ren would have no control or knowledge of what happened next._

 _"You finish school in mid-May. After that we can go to China for a few days."_

 _Although she expected to be relieved, a knot of worry filled her stomach. The idea of meeting his parents solved her concerns of their relationship never moving forward, but it also terrified her. Still, since this was what she had wanted, she would be strong._

#

Something made her think that she had never met his parents. She didn't know why, but just like before when she somehow knew Ren's distain for his father was real, she knew she hadn't met them.

Oyuki waited, listening carefully as she described the expansions of her earlier dreams. "If you are correct and these dreams are past memories, the fact that you never met his parents should answer a number of questions for you."

Looking over curiously she tilted her head a bit. "What question could that answer?" Pirika asked the snow woman.

"If he didn't want his family to learn about you, he had little time to act. He had promised that he would bring you in a number weeks he had only that long to make sure you were dealt with."

The spirit had a point and it hadn't occurred to her before this. She had wanted to think that he had agreed to bring her because he did care about her, but everything told her that simply wasn't true. It had basically been a month since she had woken up in an empty tent.

Hao told her they thought she was dead and most likely it was true. If they knew she was alive they would have wanted to finish the job, unless of course they simply didn't care. Judging by the wounds she had though, she was lucky she had survived and that would mean their intention was to finish her off.

Not only did she have a head wound, but her arms and legs had been covered with shallow cuts and a large patch of roughed up skin on her shoulder. The cut on her head hadn't been all that deep as far as she could tell, but it had bled a lot and had to be what caused her memory loss so it might have been worse than it looked. With that much damage they had to have been confident she would die and if Hao hadn't come along she would have.

Still, she would have given anything for Oyuki to be wrong, for Hao to be wrong, for her to be wrong. No matter what she wanted though, she couldn't deny the facts. They had abandoned her.

If they had been smart they would have made sure to finish her off then and there, because now she would make them pay and they would never see it coming.

#

"Maybe there is something to your idiotic insistence," Ren muttered under his breath, turning south towards the city. "I think it might finally be time to pay them a little visit."

Although this was what Bason had been waiting for, the cold smile his master gave assured him that this wouldn't go quite as he wanted.

#

"Bocchama we should go inside and speak with them."

"Silence Bason!" Ren hissed coldly. "I have given you orders and I expect them to be followed."

"Yes Bocchama," he said sadly, giving an obedient nod before he disappeared.

Ren had told him to get as close as possible and learn what he could, but he was not allowed to let them sense him. He was waiting about a mile away.

Although there was a chance Bason could go undetected, with them on high alert as they were, Ren would never get close enough.

#

"You have been gone over thirty minutes. You better have something worth it," Ren hissed.

"They were discussing their next actions so I believe I have learned everything they know."

"By all means, take all the time you need. We aren't really in a hurry." His cold sarcasm hurt, but Bason steeled himself, knowing he didn't mean it. At least not in his heart.

"After spending the first week or so looking for her or a body and finding nothing, they do not believe she is still within the city."

"Damn it I figured that out weeks ago. Give me something helpful!"

"Because of how badly you were injured, and her strength, they think someone had to have taken her."

For a moment it had been hard to understand who would have wanted to hurt her. She was sweet, gentle, caring, and innocent. Sure she could be a little rough when training her brother but she was trying to help him in the only way she could and never meant to hurt him. He had never seen her do anything just to hurt someone. Who would ever hurt a girl like that?

Then it he saw it, and it knocked the wind right out of him, like a hammer to the chest. There was one person who would want her gone, out of the picture, away from him. Although he hadn't told his father anything about her or the future he was determined to give her, it would have been easy enough to find out. He rarely showed her any affection in public, mostly because it wasn't his way, but the truth had been guessed easily enough after the ring appeared on her finger.

It was common knowledge that the two had been spending time together for the last two years with how he met her at her work and walked her home from school frequently. He had been hoping to introduce her to his parents and judge their reaction before worrying about them. His father would be furious, that much was guaranteed, but what he didn't know was how far he would go.

Ren had been lying to Pirika when he told her his parents would love her. In truth they would most likely hate her, but he couldn't have told her that. She had been nervous enough as it was. Part of him had been afraid that they would attempt to hurt her, but he tried to convince himself they would just be furious enough to limit his access to money or something else as a punishment, hoping he would come to his senses.

Having expected this he had been hiding money away for over a year. He knew if they cut him off he would never live quite the same again, but he had stockpiled enough that he could live comfortably for the rest of his life. It had actually been easy with how vast the family fortune was to pull some from here and some from there.

What if his father had taken action earlier and tried to get rid of her. How could he have missed something so simple? It had to be him. No one else had a reason to harm the Ainu girl.

If Yuan had wanted to get rid of her it was possible that he had caused the accident in the first place and had one of his numerous assassins grab her before he came to. A deeper anger than he had ever felt filled him and he made his choice. He was going to China. Now.

#

Horohoro walked over to where Yoh was standing, leaning casually out the window. "You felt him?" he asked, more than a little upset.

Giving a sad sigh, Yoh nodded.

"Why didn't we stop him? He might have known something that could help us."

"If he came here it was because he wanted to know what we know. That means he doesn't have any more answers than we do. He's too worked up to be thinking clearly so he probably hasn't come to the conclusions we have."

"What do we know that could possibly help him?"

Yoh looked back out the window. He suspected that if Ren learned they thought someone took her, he would instantly think about his father. "Maybe he has a better idea of who might have taken her."

Finally Horohoro understood. "You think his father has her!" he snapped, but Yoh stayed calm and shook his head.

"No I don't, but I think Ren will. With how little he trusts his dad he needs rule that possibility out himself."

"Why don't you think he has her? He has a bigger motive than anyone else we've thought of."

"Well first there is the fact that Ren did everything possible to keep his family from finding out about her, but even if they did, this wouldn't be how they would have dealt with it."

"What are you talking about? The Tao family has more assassins than most people have friends!"

"Think about it Horo, if he had wanted to get Ren's focus back on their family he wouldn't have taken her. The best idea would have been to have her poisoned or something that looks natural. With her missing Ren is going to search forever until he gets answers."

If possible Horohoro paled further. "So you think he couldn't have done it because he would have just killed her?"

"Yeah. There obviously isn't anything here that will bring Ren back to the way he was before, maybe something there can."

"I'm scared Yoh," he whispered softly, not able to keep the images of his sister, dead and bloody in the Tao dungeons from his mind.

Although it was a struggle to stay calm and confident, Yoh gave his friend a smile. "Don't worry buddy, everything will work out. We won't stop looking and neither will Ren. You can see how much he loves her just as easily as the rest of us can." His words had made some impact, but all he could really do was watch Horohoro try with all his might not to fall into despair.

#

Pirika wasn't surprised to find Hao waiting for her in the tent they shared. What did surprise her was the frustrated, almost upset look in his eyes. "I have reason to believe you are struggling with your memories."

Looking around the room she noticed that Oyuki wasn't here. The spirit must have told Hao about her dreams, and then left because she knew how angry Pirika would be. Maybe the ghost just thought she was helping, but still, Pirika felt betrayed.

"I've just been dreaming," she told him simply, hoping this wouldn't turn into a big deal.

"Dreams don't upset people this much. Something about them is bothering you. What is it?"

Pirika knew he wouldn't let this go so she lay down on the bed and looked up at the top of the tent. "I think they're memories." The cold look he wore was just what she had expected. He insisted that dwelling on the past would only be bad her, stall her recovery.

"What kind of memories?" Hao showed extreme patience with how calm he kept his voice, despite his obvious anger.

For the shortest of seconds she felt as if she was remembering something important, something about Hao, but it was gone long before she could grasp it. Shaking her head she pushed it aside easily.

"They're all different. Either Ren or my brother are in them."

"I've told you about how they pretended to care so they could get what they wanted."

"But what did they want? They didn't get anything! I never slept with Ren and my brother never made me do things I didn't want."

"My pet, I was there when they attacked you. I saw them walk away from your bleeding body."

Batting away the tears she forced her voice to stay even, knowing she couldn't let Hao see how shaken she was. "I just wish I could remember the bad things too," she muttered.

"You just aren't ready yet," he told her, his voice softer. "Those memories will come eventually, but it is too soon for you to handle it." Seemingly satisfied with how things had gone he started kissing her. The kissing didn't bother her, and she responded happily until his hands started searching her chest.

Without a real thought, she pulled back with a slight whimper. At least her reluctance made slightly more sense now. If she really had been with Ren over two years and she never let him have her, why would she give herself to a man she had only been with a number of weeks?

"I have given you everything you want?" he told her in frustration. "Why would you still deny me?"

"I'm sorry Hao, but please, please give me more time." His normally warm brown eyes were cold and distant as he headed for the door. "I've given you everything you've ever wanted. Soon I will expect something in return."

Once he was gone she rolled over, pulled a pillow to her chest and started to cry silently. For some reason she was terrified, more so than she could ever remember being. Hao had saved her, healed her, and taught her everything she would need to get the revenge she wanted, but something made her hold back. Whatever it was, she couldn't keep it up much longer.

#

The flight took forever with how impatient he had become, but finally he had arrived and kwan dao in hand, he headed inside. First he decided to search the house. If he had kept her alive she would most likely be hidden in the dungeons. It would be near impossible to make Yuan admit to anything if he was simply confronted, so he would save that for a last resort.

After looking through the dungeons and the few dozen other places in the house he could have hidden her Ren knew he had no other choice. He would give anything to have her back, even if it meant killing his father. It was late, after sunset when he saw them all sitting in the dining hall. His mother and sister were there as well, but that wouldn't stop him, not now.

Walking in silently, no one knew he was there until he had his blade at his father's neck. "Where is she?" he asked coldly, anger only rising at the calm collected look his father gave.

Both the women gasped and moved forward but a single cold look at Jun had his sister moving back and getting their mother to do the same. Ren wasn't going to let anyone interfere with this, no matter what it took.

"I'm afraid you will have to be more specific Lian."

"Pirika! Where is she? She disappeared the day we were coming here and has been gone for weeks. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out but now that I did you will answer my questions."

"I had nothing to do with the loss of that savage girl you clung to. I will admit that when I heard about it weeks ago I was nothing but pleased for whoever had acted. It saved me the trouble of dealing with the girl myself."

"Stop lying to me," Ren hissed, absolutely livid. "You were planning on doing something the moment you found out who she was."

"That may be true," he admitted, "but I had no hand in what happened to her." Clenching his jaw Ren tried to decide what to do. He wasn't sure if he believed him, but if it hadn't been Yuan, there was still a chance he could help find her.

"If you had nothing to do with it then I beg you to find her for me. I will do whatever you request after that, but you will get nothing until she is safe."

Moving quickly Yuan reached up and snapped the wooden handle of the kwan dao before he threw it to the ground. "If she had you this weakened I'm glad she was dealt with. You are the heir to the Tao clan and such behavior will not be tolerated. You said you would look out for the interests of the family but despite our lines dying out you choose a woman who could never further the clan. Trusting you was a clear mistake."

Before Ren could react the larger man jerked out and knocked him hard into the far wall with an attack aimed at the center of his chest.

#

Pirika was jerked from sleep that evening as well, but for the first time it hadn't been because of a dream. Actually, she didn't have a clue what had woken her. She tried to figure it out, but all she knew was it was hard to breathe. Beyond that thinking was difficult.

It wasn't that her chest hurt. It felt more like her lungs had shrunk or there was something heavy on her ribcage. She knew neither was true of course, but that was the only way she could describe it. At the very least the wind had been fully knocked out of her.

The question was why. All she was doing was lying in bed.

For some weird reason she thought it was related to the shock she had gotten when Hao had touched her. The situations had absolutely nothing in common, but still she couldn't shake the feeling.

Although it was ever so slowly getting easier to breathe, she got no more sleep that night.

#

AN: Please read and review. It will let me know the love for Shaman King isn't dead!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

#

"You are learning quickly my pet. I'm surprised they never gave you real training before this. Had you been properly instructed you could have entered the fights on your own."

"Onii-chan told me it was too dangerous," she snapped back, working quickly through the rigorous training he gave her.

Hao just smiled sadly. "It is far more likely that he was afraid of you becoming too strong. That would keep them from controlling you as easily. This way they had all the power they needed over you." Glaring over she tried to block out the images that filled her mind at his words.

#

 _"Piri don't worry about it. I'm too afraid of losing you to let you enter. We can make it with just me."_

#

Her brothers words echoed through her head and she couldn't help but scoff at how stupid she had been then. He could have trained her whether she was entering or not, just so she could handle herself.

The only reason he hadn't was because he wanted her this way. She bit her lip to try and send the thoughts away, but it wouldn't work. It never did. At least now she had Hao to help her. He wouldn't keep her down.

#

They group had been about to leave for another trip when they heard a crash near the door. Running forward they were shocked to see Ren laying on the step unconscious and bleeding. "Someone grab him and bring him upstairs!" Yoh called quickly.

He knew this outcome was possible when Ren headed out of the country, but he had hoped it would have ended differently. Horohoro stepped forward and half dragged the man upstairs, placing him on the same bed he had been treated on a month before.

As Faust went up to examine him the others gathered in the living room. "I think we should stay here for a while," Yoh advised gently.

"My sister is still out there somewhere. We don't have to worry about Ren any more so we should be out looking!" Horohoro exclaimed angrily.

"We have been over most the country in the last month Horo. So has he. At this point we should wait until we can talk to him. He might know something we don't or at least he will be able to eliminate more places she isn't. I know how you feel but we have been wandering around aimlessly for weeks now. This could give us a chance to regroup."

Clenching his fists Horohoro stormed out of the house.

#

It was a few days before his eyes opened slowly to see the familiar walls of the onsen around him. He tried to sit up, but found his wrists and ankles bound again, just like before. "Damn it Yoh untie me," he muttered angrily.

The brunette sat beside him, perched on a stool with a nervous smile. "Sorry but that didn't go so well for us last time."

"If I have to break out again I will," he warned, but Yoh just chuckled. Ren had only been awake for a minute or so, but he suspected their friend was back with them.

"Maybe later. For now why don't you tell me what you've learned so far."

Ren glared at him, but was too exhausted to fight about it anymore. "Nothing really. All I know is that she isn't at my family's compound."

"Yeah I didn't think she would be."

"Thanks for sharing," Ren snapped angrily, frustrated by the way Yoh shrugged.

"We weren't exactly on speaking terms."

"Was Mem with you at all?" Horohoro asked from the doorway.

Thinking back carefully, Ren shook his head. "I only had Bason. I spent some time looking for the Spirit of Thunder but when I couldn't find him I moved on."

"That might be my fault," Yoh admitted sheepishly. "I asked Anna to seal him away until we could trust you again. You were causing enough trouble with just Bason, I was afraid people were going to start dying."

Before Ren could open his mouth with an angry reply Horohoro broke in again. "Then where is Mem? Could he be with her?"

Not taking his angry glare from Yoh, Ren answered. "I doubt it. If he was with her he either would have gotten her back by now or have shown us where she is. Frankly I'm not going to waste a moment worrying about that damn turtle until she's safe. Now I do not want to say this again. UNTIE ME!"

Yoh and Horohoro shared a look. They could never be sure what would happen if they released him, but this attitude was markedly different than it had been previously. Sure he was angry, cold, and ready to kill, but his hate of everything living was gone. He saw his friends for what they were and was calm enough to have a conversation. Really that was all they could hope for. Holding his breath, Yoh cautiously undid the ropes.

#

"I think you are finally ready for your revenge my pet."

She sent him a glare, still not liking the nickname he used for her. "Fine, when are we leaving?"

"Right now," he told her happily. Taking a deep breath she followed him.

#

Once they were at a field near the onsen he told her to wait while he got them. She didn't really know why he bothered to tell her that because the only thing he did was throw a fireball into the kitchen. They had gone over the plan a dozen times on the way here and so she knew that was her cue to freeze a layer of ice over the area around them.

When he heard the door open and people come running outside he burned the ice, causing steam to cloud the area in a layer of mist. Giving her another confident smirk he walked out towards them.

He couldn't help but laugh at the gasps as he walked out from the covering.

"That's not possible!" Horohoro shouted. "They took away your powers!"

"Are any of you actually so naïve that you thought people as pathetic as the Patch could stop me? They took away the Spirit of Fire and all the powers they thought I had, but no one can stop me. I found another spirit and trained up again to come back and kill all of you, and this time I can't lose."

Seeing Horohoro preparing for an attack he snapped his fingers. Just before he hit the fire shaman, a streak came from the fog, snapped his board easily in two before disappearing again. Whatever they had been expecting that wasn't it.

"Well, at least one of you in now unarmed. Next I think the Tao should try his luck. Maybe it will sooth the pain that he caused to one who cared for him."

"What are you talking about Hao?" Yoh snapped angrily.

"I brought someone with me that has a reason to hate you all, someone you threw away. And now they will get their revenge."

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

Grinding his teeth Ren stepped forward, sword ready. "If he wants me to kill him I am more than happy to accept the pleasure!" he yelled before he charged. Satisfied with how things were going, Hao moved back into the fog before the Chinese shaman could stop him. He followed instantly, leaving the others behind.

Once in the cloud of steam he could only see about a foot in front of him. The attack came from out of nowhere and he barely had a chance to block it.

Trying to get a good look at who he was he realized it was actually a woman, but he was having trouble seeing much about her with how quickly she was moving in and out of the fog.

She had a glowing blue sword and used it well. It looked like she was wearing a white sundress and her hair was pulled back somehow.

"Have you given up Ren-kun?" a cold voice cooed.

"Stop playing your games and face me!"

"I was only a game to you so now you know how it feels."

"Who the hell are you?"

The woman laughed again. "I am the one you abandoned. I am the one you tried to dispose of. I am the one who will kill you."

Losing all patience he made a jab in the direction he expected her to come from and smirked when his blade hit flesh, causing her to cry out in pain.

Before he could respond his feet were knocked out from beneath him and he fell to the ground. He tried to get up but someone was pinning him down with a blade to his neck. Looking up at the woman he had been battling, his heart stopped when he met her eyes.

Staring back at him angrily were a pair of blue eyes he thought he would never see again.

"Pirika?" he stammered.

"I bet you never expected to see me alive again after what you did," she told him, voice filled with ice.

"What are you talking about?" he asked helplessly.

"I loved you!" she cried. "I loved you and you threw me away. You hurt me so I wouldn't remember anything and then you left me for dead!"

"Pirika we've all been looking for you for weeks! There was an accident when we were going to the airport," he tried to explain. "When I came to you were gone. I tried everything to get you back. We called Lyserg, we searched all of the city, I even asked my father for help!"

"You are lying!" she shrieked. "You're lying and I'll kill you!"

"Ren! We're coming!" Yoh hollered, sounding closer.

"NO!" he roared. "Stay back! I'll be fine just don't attack!" He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard them stop where they were. "Pirika, can't you remember?"

"Remember what! You attacked me and left me. I would have died just like you wanted if it weren't for Hao-kun."

Suddenly his eyes got dark. "How can you trust him? He tried to kill all of us once and he never changed."

"No. He was right about all of you; I was just stupid enough to believe you. But then you all worked together to get rid of me."

He couldn't stop the tears of desperation that started to fall. "I love you Piri. Your brother loves you. Nothing will ever change that. Hao is just using you to get back at us, he knows we could never hurt you, we would die before that."

She didn't believe him, but he could see the confusion in her eyes so he kept going. "Try and remember Piri. Remember when you got lost in the woods and your brother spent the entire night out in the storm trying to find you. Remember how he panicked the first time I kept you out over night. Remember how you expected him to be furious but he was so happy you were safe he couldn't have been angry. Remember the first time I kissed you in your bedroom. Remember when I gave you that ring, I was so nervous you had me stuttering, something no one else has ever managed."

Moving slowly she pulled a necklace out from under her dress and on the end of the chain was the diamond ring he had given her. Deciding to risk it he pushed her sword away, not caring that he cut open his hand.

Sitting up he used her confusion to pull her against him and kiss her deeply. "Please remember Piri. I need you," he whispered as he pulled away.

Trying to sort through her real memories and the ones that had been fed to her she was overwhelmed. Looking back up at him, he saw how pale she was. His eyes were drawn down to her once white dress that was now stained red with her blood. "NO! Faust help!" he cried desperately, pushing her to the ground and putting pressure on the still bleeding gash. The fog was dissipating and the others ran towards the pair of them.

"Pirika is it actually you!" her brother asked, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm so sorry Pirika. Please just be okay," Ren whispered to her as her eyes closed. The last thing she saw was flames flying up around her and the sound of people screaming.

Pushed back by the flames the group couldn't stop Hao when he lifted her limp body off the ground. Yanking the chain holding the ring from her neck, he threw it to the ground in front of the others. "I regret that she wasn't ready for this task, but I assure you when I return, she will be unstoppable," Hao said coldly, anger in his brown eyes.

"Get your hands off of her you bastard!" Horohoro yelled, thoroughly enraged. Sending only a glare that way Hao disappeared with the Ainu girl still in his arms.

#

"We need to go after them!" Horohoro raged.

"And do what?" Yoh asked, more than a little discouraged. "We have no idea where they could be and even if we did, we aren't ready to take on Hao and all his followers again. It's too much. For now he needs her and so we know he won't hurt her. Until we figure something else out that is just going to have to be enough."

Ren heard the two talking from the hall and took Horohoro's side immediately. The difference was he wouldn't let Yoh stop him from doing what he wanted. Maybe he didn't have the help of his father, but he was still a Tao and that name could pull more than a few strings when he needed it to.

Before anyone could stop him he slipped outside, taking advantage of how broken up the rest of them were. They were all trapped in their own sorrows and didn't think to look for him until the next morning, but by then he was long gone.

#

"I am quite disappointed in you," he told her angrily when she woke.

Looking away she couldn't keep the tears from sliding down her cheeks. "What he said, I think I did remember it. It's blurry and unclear, but there were flashes of everything except the accident. What if he was telling the truth and it was just an accident?"

"You are being ridiculous my pet. I was there when they left you, bleeding and alone. Everything that happened today was just part of their plans. His words were meant to distract you as you bled out. If I hadn't gotten to you when I did you would have died in his arms as he laughed at your foolishness. They knew your weakness and they used it to help them."

Still confused she reached for the chain she had kept hidden around her neck and gasped when it wasn't there.

"He took it from you before I could stop him. Obviously after all this getting back such a costly treasure was more important than doing anything for you."

"Please Hao-kun. I-I need to be alone."

Walking from the room, he left her there for over a week until she had sufficiently healed.

#

Once she was allowed to move around she went to Hao's tent, despite the late hour. She walked in to see him lying on the bed waiting for her, his chest bare. "Have you finally seen the truth my pet?" he asked coolly.

Stepping forward she gave a nod. The week restricted to a bed had left her with plenty of time to think and she didn't think she believed the cold hearted Tao. There were a number of reasons for it, the first of which being that he had never told her he loved her before and it wasn't the sort of thing he would ever admit in front of others.

Also she would never believe that he had gone to his father for help. He would rather die than ask the man for anything and she knew it. That had to be a lie and if he had lied about that why would anything else he have said have been the truth.

Standing up he walked over to her, kissing her passionately. Slowly she responded. "I'm through waiting for you," he whispered as his hands slid down to the bottom of the white dress she still wore. Looking away fearfully she knew it would be useless to fight him. Hao always got his way, and if this was what he wanted he wouldn't stop until he had it.

What scared her most was the fact that she was still a virgin and didn't really want to lose that because a man was lusting after her. Ren had of course wanted it, but she begged him to wait until they were married. Maybe that was why he had gotten rid of her. Assuming that he had ever cared for her and the entire thing wasn't a big joke from the start.

Well, she would never be married now so what did it really matter anymore. Batting away the tears she didn't stop him as he pulled the dress up and over her head. Hao brushed her hair over her shoulder as he smiled at her.

"Be happy my pet, I will make sure you enjoy this." Not wanting to look at him she turned and pressed her back against his chest and let him wrap his arms around her small waist.

She closed her eyes as he started to bite at her neck and one of his hands slid under her bra. Her body betrayed her by shivering in pleasure at the way he touched her, the typical electrical current fading quickly.

"I told you this would be enjoyable," he whispered huskily into her ear. One of his hands moved slowly down her stomach towards her panties but as he brushed a sensitive spot on the inside of her hip she moaned softly.

The problem was that it wasn't his name she had moaned, it was Ren's.

Spinning her around Hao backhanded her, sending her to the ground. Her eyes were filled with fear as she looked up at the angry man towering over her.

"Obviously you have not forgotten as you should. I will make sure that mine is the only name on your lips," he snarled, pulling her to her feet by her arm and making her cry out in pain.

"Hao please, I'm sorry," she trembled. "It was an accident and it won't happen again. He means nothing to me I promise. I only want you."

It was obvious she was just pleading to calm him, and her lies just angered him further. Pushing her down to the bed he slapped her hard again making her cry fearfully.

"Don't hurt me Hao-kun please," she begged. "I-I just wasn't ready. When he hurt me it just made me confused. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed. Let me rest tonight and I promise I'll give myself to you willingly tomorrow."

Hitting her one last time he walked towards the entrance of the tent. "I will give you one night, but after that I will have you." After he let his cold words sink in he walked out and she started to sob, wrapping her arms around herself.

#

She didn't know how long had passed when she felt that she wasn't alone. "Please Hao, I promised you tomorrow," she cried looking up. She couldn't help but whimper at the angry golden tiger eyes that stared back at her. "R-R-Ren!" she squeaked.

His eyes moved up and down her body, taking in the bite marks on her neck and shoulders, the bra and panties that were all she wore, her puffy red eyes, the marks on her face and body from where she had been hit and the small bandage that covered the wound he had given her accidentally. He looked broken in a way she had never seen before as he took in everything.

"What did you do with him?" he asked, the pain he felt obvious.

"I promise it isn't what it looks like," she cried. Why she did it she didn't know, but the sight of him after everything she had been through in the past few hours felt like the answer to a prayer, so without thinking twice, she threw herself into his arms.

Putting one hand on the back of her head, Ren held her close and tried not to let her know how much pain he withheld. He was just happy she was safe and tried to tell himself that nothing else mattered. If he could have her back again he didn't care if Hao had used her.

All too soon he pulled away from her. "Pirika, I want to get you out of here. Come with me. I promise I'll never hurt you."

In his eyes she saw a kindness she knew from the faded memories she had. Looking between him and the dress Hao had thrown to the floor she made her choice. "I'm still confused, but I'll come with you," she told him softly.

Grabbing her hand he pulled her quickly away from the camp, letting her grab the dress but not giving her a chance to put it on. Hao was close and if he sensed Ren or saw either of them it would be over.

They had been running for about fifteen minutes when she tripped and fell to the ground. "Ren I can't go anymore," she cried desperately.

"I promise we are close Piri. You can do this, I know it. You're strong." Wiping the dirt from her face, she allowed him to pull her to her feet and drag her off again.

After another five minutes he led her to a small patch of trees, in the middle of which Hakuoh was tied up. Moving quickly he pulled the reins free and turned to face her as she pulled the half shredded, blood stained dress back on. Knowing what he wanted, she nodded and allowed him to lift her up and onto the beast. As soon as she was safely seated he jumped up behind her.

Slightly nervous about riding a horse like this she leaned back into him and was surprised by how safe it felt, sitting securely in his arms. All the stories Hao had told her had been clear until now, but they were fading. Instead they were being replaced by the cloudy ones she had gained on her own of the way the Chinese man held her. Her mind was elsewhere as they rode quickly into the night.

Full memories were being fleshed out from the flashes Ren had given her and they were being added to the fuzzy ones that were clearing. She walked through all of them slowly, letting herself get a good taste of each one.

#

 _First she was crying outside in the woods behind the apartments. People had been teasing her again at school and though she acted like it didn't matter and walked off after turning up her nose, it hurt. Things had been worse this year and she didn't know why. Maybe it was because she was finally in high school and all the people around her had started dating and going to parties but she was never invited or involved and it made her an easy target._

 _It also didn't help that she was the only shaman in her grade. Her brother and all of her friends were two grades up, well except for Tamao who was only one year older. No one would dare mess with Tamao though between the way both Yoh and Horo watched out for her. They didn't watch out for the younger girl as much because she refused to show her pain and so they thought she could take care of herself._

 _As soon as she had gotten back from school today she had run into the trees so no one could see her tears. The Ainu were a proud people and she couldn't show any weakness. The only thing it would succeed in doing is bringing her brother into it and she wanted to handle this by herself._

 _He would have stormed around the school beating up any guy who dared to look at her wrong, or hollered at any girl who laughed at her, but that wouldn't make anything better. Then she would just be pushed farther away. Not to mention that he would see how she was struggling and there was no one she wanted to impress more than her older brother._

 _Letting the tears fall she hadn't noticed when it had gotten dark and the wind picked up. Once she looked up again she was in the middle of a blizzard and so turned around she couldn't find her way out no matter how hard she tried. She had been wandering around lost for longer than she could imagine when she finally just collapsed and gave up. This would be a proper end to her life at this point. Lost in a blizzard and killed by the element her brother used as power._

 _#_

 _Her entire body was numb when she heard something else above the roaring wind. Finally willing to throw her pride away because of how scared she was she yelled as loud as she could. "Help me! Please someone help me!"_

 _"Pirika! Where are you?" she heard a familiar voice holler._

 _She had never been as happy as she was at that moment, hearing him coming for her. "Onii-chan!" she screamed through a layer of fresh tears that were freezing to her cheeks._

 _It was only another minute or two before he came into view on his snowboard. Jumping free of it he ran to her and gave her a hug. "Pirika do you have any idea how worried I've been?" he whispered, trying not to show her that he was crying as well._

 _"I-I'm sorry Onii-chan," she sobbed. "I got lost and by the time I realized I didn't know where I was, the wind and snow had started."_

 _"None of that matters now. All I want is to get you back to the apartment."_

 _Nodding she let him pull her to her feet but she was so weak and cold she couldn't hold her own weight, causing her to cry more. Not letting it worry him he lifted her easily onto his back and wrapped her arms around his neck._

 _"Hold on Piri. I'll get you back soon," he told her gently as he jumped back onto his board, putting his hands under her to help hold her up. "Kororo let's take her home," he called, relieved that she was safe. The return trip was made as quickly as it could have when he was holding her on his back and couldn't use his arms._

 _Before too long he carried her into the apartment and was glad when he saw Ren was still there. He had been over when the storm started and Horohoro had said it would be best to stay because of how bad the roads were. Then, once he decided to look for his sister, he asked Ren to stay at the apartment in case she came back._

 _Slipping the frozen girl off his back he carried her to her bed and, after pulling off her boots and jacket, pulled the covers over her. "Sleep now sis, you're safe," he told her gently before he turned to see Ren standing in the doorway._

 _"How the hell did she survive that?" Ren asked in surprise._

 _Giving a soft smile he laughed. "She's an Ainu," he told the other man simply._

 _"Okay I get it. You're snow people. But without the help of a spirit even one of you shouldn't be able to survive in a storm like this for that long. She must have told that creepy frog thing to stay here because it never left the room so she was completely alone."_

 _"We are snow people, we are proud people, but mostly we are just an overly stubborn people."_

 _Ren couldn't help but smirk. "Alright, I'll buy that last one."_

#

 _Now she was sitting in an empty classroom crying as she clutched a paper in her hands. "What's wrong?" he asked softly walking towards her. Wiping her tears away quickly she put on a smile and faced him._

 _"Nothing is wrong Ren. I just wanted to be by myself for a bit that's all."_

 _His eyes narrowed, seeing straight through her cover. "Even a girl as silly as you doesn't cry for nothing. Tell me what's wrong or I will find out for myself."_

 _Her eyes watered again. "I'm not just a silly girl!" she snapped._

 _"And I'm not stupid," he snapped back. "Why were you crying?"_

 _Looking back down ashamed she handed over the crumpled paper she held. Eying it, he started to understand. It was a note to her guardian that she was failing multiple classes and if she didn't improve she would be dropped from the school._

 _"How did you let things get this bad? Doesn't your brother know?"_

 _Pirika shook her head. "Onii-chan is already working so hard between school and his job at the factory to pay the bills that I can't let him worry about this as well."_

 _"And how do you think he is going to feel when he gets this?" he asked her._

 _"He won't get it. I've never been good at school and I could be more useful to him by working more at the tea shop."_

 _"He is working double shifts because he wants to keep you in school. How could you just throw all his hard work away?"_

 _"You would never understand," she told him. "He is lucky to get four hours of sleep a night between his homework and the hours he works. I need to help him. He has given up everything from time with his friends to being with Tamao for me and I don't deserve it. I struggle so much with this anyway that I might as well be helpful to him."_

 _"He would rather have you quit your job then school, don't be stupid enough to believe otherwise."_

 _"Even if I wanted to stay in school I'm not able to keep up. I'm going to fail out even if I try. If I give up now I can use my time helping him instead of wasting it trying to learn."_

 _"So find someone to help you if the problem is you aren't understanding. If you drop out he will probably just move somewhere you could start over again._

 _He will never let you do something this foolish."_

 _"Who would care enough to help me? Everyone in my classes treats me like a freak with a disease or something, like they'll die if they get too close," she snapped back._

 _"I will. If you won't accept my assistance then I'll tell your brother about this."_

 _"Why would you do that? He needs my help!" she asked desperately._

 _"I won't let you throw your future away because of this."_

 _He didn't bother to stop her as she slapped him hard across the face._

 _"You have already missed lunch and your next class starts in a few minutes. If you want my help meet me by the gym door after school. I would much rather help you than give your brother another thing to deal with." With that he left the room and she started to cry again._

 _She knew that if her brother found out about her grades, he would make her quit her job and she couldn't allow that. As much as she hated to admit it, Tao_

 _Ren never bluffed, and if she didn't meet him he would tell. So, against everything she wanted, she had met him and accepted his help._

#

 _The next memory was only a few days later when he had met her at the tea shop she worked at to help her during her lunch break. "Ren-san this is hopeless! I'll never learn any of this, I'm not smart enough."_

 _"You are more than smart enough you stupid snow bunny, you just need to work with me. I understand that you don't learn well at school but I need to find out how you do learn so I can help you. For that I need your cooperation. Now let's try this again."_

#

 _The world faded again and the pair of them were in her bedroom a month later and her grades had finally started to rebound, but she still needed far more help than she wanted to admit. "Why are you doing this Ren-sama?" she asked, so frustrated she wanted to try and distract him at least for a bit._

 _"I am drawing these stupid pictures because it seems to be the only thing that can help you."_

 _"I mean why are you helping me at all? You have better things to do. I mean you're dating the head cheerleader, half running your clan, and you're graduating in a few months. Why would you spend this much time helping me?"_

 _"I broke up with her weeks ago. She was too clingy," he responded, not looking up from the paper he was working on._

 _"Being the great Tao Ren I'm sure the others have been lined up waiting since it happened."_

 _"They are all shallow and it was starting to be a bore. Now come over here and try this again."_

 _"You still haven't told me why you are wasting your time with me."_

 _Giving a sigh he rubbed his temples with his fingers. Meeting his eyes she could tell he was getting frustrated. "If you can finish all this work before your brother gets home I will answer your question." Glaring at him she went back to her work, knowing he would give her nothing more for now._

 _Finally she had finished her homework for the day and her brother still wouldn't be home for half an hour. Closing her books and putting everything away she turned to him._

 _"Now, tell me why you are doing this." Giving his trademark smirk he moved towards her and before she could stop him, he kissed her._

 _At first it was just a brush to her lips but only a second later it was more. Her lips responded to him instantly, even before she had processed what was happening. All too soon he pulled away and headed for the door._

 _"I doubt that you want to explain my presence to your brother so I'll leave before he gets back. I'll meet you after work tomorrow snow bunny." With that he walked out, leaving the blue haired girl more confused than when they had started._

#

 _Although she was still in her bedroom, it was months later and her homework lay forgotten on the floor beside them. Ren was lying on his back and she was sitting on top of him. Her face was flushed from the way he was tickling her. "Are you ready to answer me yet?"_

 _"I- forgot-what you-asked," she managed through her giggles and pants._

 _"I asked if you wanted to go out to a movie tonight."_

 _Leaning backwards she tapped her chin thoughtfully._

 _Smirking again, his fingers moved back to her sides and she shrieked with laughter. "Yes Ren-kun," she managed._

 _Quickly he rolled her over so he had her pinned beneath him. "We should go soon then, unless you want your brother to know where you're going."_

 _"We have a little time," she teased, pulling his lips down to her own. A few minutes later she pushed him out of the room so she could change._

 _#_

 _They pulled up in front of the building close to eleven that night and seeing the lights on upstairs she knew he was waiting for her, probably angry. "Maybe you should just go Ren-kun. I can handle him by myself."_

 _"I'm sure you can, but the look on his face when he finds out I was the one that kept you out this late is something I will greatly enjoy seeing."_

 _Sending a light hearted glare at her golden eyed boyfriend she got out of the car and headed up. He would follow her, but not too closely. Hearing her try and explain this to her over protective brother would be almost as good as the look on his friends face when he saw who she was dating._

 _"Where the hell have you been?" Horohoro asked her angrily._

 _"I sent you a text and told you I was going out," she responded calmly._

 _"With who? I already talked to Tamao and Anna and they say you weren't with them. Who else would you go out with?"_

 _Without being able to see her, Ren could already tell she was blushing. "Onii-chan I am 16 years old. Did it occur to you that I might be out with a guy?"_

 _"What do you mean a guy? You aren't old enough to date and I'll kill anyone who says otherwise!"_

 _"Ren-kun stop snickering and come out here!" she ordered._

 _Ren couldn't help but laugh at the way the older Ainu's mouth dropped open at the sight of his friend. Walking over next to Pirika he allowed her to take his hand, despite how much he didn't like it._

 _"Please tell me this is all some kind of sick joke," he begged of the pair, but the loving way Pirika looked up at the man next to her showed him it wasn't._

 _"Don't be upset Onii-chan," she pleaded, eyes not leaving Ren's face. "He makes me happy."_

 _Ren watched in amusement as Horohoro ground his teeth back and forth, deciding what to do._

 _Finally clenching his fists he turned to his friend. "If you ever hurt her I swear I will kill you," he said coldly._

 _"You could try," Ren snapped back, amused._

 _Giving a happy laugh Pirika moved between the two. "No fighting."_

 _Looking down at his phone Ren still smirked. "I need to get back," he told her gently, heading for the door. Horohoro's eyes narrowed as he watched his sister hug the other man._

 _"I didn't finish my homework yet," she told him._

 _"I'll come back at some point this weekend," he assured her. Glancing quickly up at the man behind him, he kissed her, knowing how much it would bother him. After a few moments he pulled away and left, leaving the girl standing by the door with a shy smile on her lips. Giving a frustrated sigh Horohoro walked towards his room and left her where she was._

#

 _This time they were at Ren's apartment and they had both fallen asleep watching a movie. He opened his eyes and smiled at the blue haired girl curled up against his chest. Looking over at the clock he was surprised that it said 3 am._

 _Shaking her gently awake he pulled her to her feet._

 _"But Ren-kun I'm tired," she whined._

 _"That would probably be because it's three in the morning. I'm sure your stupid brother is panicking and you have to go to school in a few hours." His words woke her up quickly._

 _Cursing softly under her breath she followed him out to his car and he drove her quickly home._

 _When they pulled up he went to park but she stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Please Ren-kun. I should do this alone. Trust me." Debating quickly he gave in, knowing she would be angry if he didn't._

 _Unlocking the door she was filled with relief when she saw all the lights were off, but it was short lived and after taking a few more steps the door to his bedroom flew open and he raced out. She expected him to be furious, ranting and raving, but instead he hugged her closely. "Pirika do you have any idea how worried I've been?" he asked._

 _Returning the hug she smiled. "I'm sorry onii-chan. We fell asleep at his apartment. It won't happen again."_

 _Pulling back he examined her closely. Seeing her mussed up hair and wrinkly clothes he sighed. "Promise me you are being safe," he pleaded._

 _As soon as she realized what he meant she turned scarlet. "Onii-chan, we don't do that," she managed to stutter._

 _"The two of you have been spending time together for a year and he's never waited more than a month with anyone else, do you actually expect me to believe you?"_

 _"It isn't like that Onii-chan," she whined. "I'm not ready and he would never push me. We were watching a movie on the couch and we fell asleep, that's all."_

 _His eye brows rose at how uncomfortable he made her. He had to admit, his trust in Ren more than doubled at the point when he realized she wasn't lying._

 _Dropping the subject he hugged her one more time. "Don't ever do that again Piri. You will never understand how much I worry about you."_

#

 _One last memory came to her slowly. Ren was walking her towards the park she loved, glancing down nervously at her repeatedly. It had been a wonderful day for her that had started with him taking her out to dinner once her homework was finished. After that they went to a movie and finally he was taking her to the playground._

 _She had begged him to come with her and although he gave in quickly, he had pretended that he hadn't wanted to, making her beg. "I wanna swing!" she told him happily, running over to the snow covered sand pit and jumping onto the swing with a giggle. Rolling his eyes he couldn't hide his smile as he came up behind her and started to push her gently. "Higher!" she squealed, sounding just like the child he had first met outside of the onsen._

 _Once she was swinging back and forth happily he started to talk to her. "Are you happy Pirika?" he asked suddenly._

 _Tilting her head to the side she considered his strange question. "Of course I am. I have my onii-chan and I have you. What more could I ever want?"_

 _She gave a gasp as he grabbed her swing and pulled her quickly to a stop. Walking in front of her he went down on one knee and pulled something from his pocket. Her mouth dropped open at the blush that covered his cheeks. "Pirika, y-you mean so much to me a-and I never want to be w-without you. Please m-marry me?"_

 _The way her face lit up made him happier than anything ever had before. Jumping forward she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly._

 _"You do actually need to say something you stupid Usui," he reminded her gruffly._

 _She laughed, unable to stop the tears that were falling. "Yes Ren-kun. I would love to marry you."_

 _Cocky smirk back in place, her pushed her back a bit so he could slip the ring on her finger. It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry she had ever laid eyes on but when she looked up to thank him she was surprised to see him crashing down onto her. Their lips met desperately. She could feel the smirk on his lips as he trailed down her neck but she just giggled and let him have his fun._

#

Finally she was back in the present and she could see the sun coming up. Looking around she saw they were entering the outskirts of Tokyo and she couldn't help but whimper. "Ren-k-kun."

He felt his spirit break when she stumbled over the suffix she usually added to his name. Although she still said it, it was clear that she had to force herself to.

"I-I can't go back yet. I-I'm still confused. I'm not ready."

Slowing the horse he considered her. "Pirika, your brother misses you. He would give anything to see that you're alright."

"Please Ren-kun!" she whimpered desperately.

"Alright," he agreed reluctantly. "Why don't we leave Hakuoh in a nearby field and we can find a motel to stay in until tomorrow." Thinking about his offer she decided to accept it. At the very least, if she wasn't ready, she could try and slip away before they got to the apartment the siblings shared.

Ren found a nice field and after slipping down he tied the beast up. She shrunk away from his hands as he reached to pull her down, and after biting down the pain that surfaced, he stepped back and let her climb down on her own.

Looking down at the state of dress she was in he unbuttoned his own shirt and slipped it onto her. Her dress was half shredded from when he had stabbed her and blood covered the entire front of it. Now that they were in town she would be getting far more attention than she would want. Ren offered her his hand and was more than a little surprised when she took it. With that they walked away.

He had told her to wait near the trees while he went to get a room and kneeling down she agreed. What now? She thought to herself nervously. Hao would never forgive her for this and so no matter what she learned from Ren she could never go back there.

It had also been obvious to her from the beginning that, although Hao had given Oyuki to her, the spirit was loyal only to the pyromaniac himself. She had enjoyed when they worked together, but Hao would have found her easily if she had brought her along, so now she didn't even have a spirit.

What about Ren? Was he telling her the truth? One of them had to be lying but she had no idea which one of them it was. She had been telling Hao the truth when she said she didn't believe what the Tao had told her in the fog. But now she wasn't sure. When he touched her he was gentle and caring.

Hao had told her that he had pretended to care for her before he attacked her. Her main issue with that was the only memory she knew was real of someone hurting her was when Hao had hit her the night before, and although she had faint memories that he had given her about being abused by the others they were still in the fuzzy mess she had yet to really sort through.

If Ren had been telling her the truth, and Hao had been lying, than Ren would never forgive her. No matter what she did now, no matter who was telling her the truth, after this she would be alone. No one would want her anymore, but at this point she would give anything just to know right from wrong.

"Piri?" a voice called softly, drawing her attention. Ren was standing in front of her looking worried.

She jumped quickly to her feet. "I'm fine," she chirped, forcing a cheerful edge into her voice.

He just wanted to scream when he heard it. Never before did she need to pretend to be happy with him. Ever since he first started helping her with school she had truly been happy, even when things went wrong. "They only had one room, it's upstairs."

Giving him a nod she followed him into the building. The room wasn't much, but after living in a dirt camp for the last few months it felt nice to have carpet under her toes.

"Pirika?" Turning she saw him behind her, keeping enough distance not to upset her. "Why don't you take a shower while I go out and get you some clothes?" Casting a longing glance at the bed she nodded.

Between the dirt and grime from the camp and the grass and weeds she had stuck to her from running and riding she was a mess and knew it. Walking to the bathroom door she slipped off his shirt and left it on the floor, aware of the way his eyes followed her closely. Without another word she closed the door behind her and started the shower. Before she moved under the water she heard him leave the room.

#

He had moved quickly from place to place, picking up everything he needed before heading back to the room. Glancing at the clock he saw that over an hour had passed but the water was still running and Pirika was nowhere in sight. She would probably get upset if he walked in on her, but he needed to know she was still safe here, instead of out wandering around or going back to Hao. Placing his hand on the knob, he opened it and walked inside.

Sitting in the corner with her arms wrapped around herself, she was crying and letting the water run down her body, oblivious to the fact that her bra and panties were still on. Reaching over he shut off the now ice cold water and grabbed a towel from the shelf. Moving forward he wrapped the towel around her and lifted her effortlessly from the floor of the shower.

She gave no response at all as he carried her into the other room and sat down with her on the bed. For a while he just sat there and waited as she cried, holding her in his arms as he had ached to do since he lost her.

Eventually she stopped crying and looked up at him, her eyes bloodshot. "I can't remember," she whimpered. "I just want to remember what's real."

"I'll help you," he promised her, "no matter what it takes." Placing a kiss on her head he set her down and walked over to the bags he had brought. Digging through them he pulled out the new set of clothes he had gotten her and passed them over. "Change into this," he ordered gently before he turned around. With how upset and confused she was, and how shy and modest she had always been, he knew she didn't want him to watch so as she changed he went back to sort through the other things he had brought.

Her fingers ran gently over the things he had given her. Everything was her size, even the bra, and it was all things she liked. He had to care to bring her things like this right? Changing slowly, she slipped the new sundress over her head, surprised at how perfect it looked. It was hot pink made of cotton with a thick black belt around her waist, the kind of thing she thought she would love wearing in the summer heat.

Once she was finished she looked over to see him slipping on a pair of jeans before facing her. "Are the clothes alright?" he asked. The small smile that crossed her lips wasn't forced as she nodded. She felt a small bit of happiness for the first time that she could remember.

All that was pulled away however, when she saw the chain around his neck with a glittering gem at the end of it. Running forward she grabbed it quickly to look at it. Confirming it was the ring he had given her well over four months ago tears filled her eyes. "He was telling the truth! You took this from me so you could sell it. Or was it just a trophy so you could always remember what you did to me?"

Not giving him a chance to answer she started hitting his bare chest repeatedly, unsure where her tears or strength had come from.

"Piri what are you talking about?" he asked, not trying to stop her.

"That ring! You stole it back after you watched while I bled! Everything you said was just a distraction to buy time until I died!"

He tried to get her to stop, but she just kept hitting him harder and harder until her hands started to hurt. It wasn't what he wanted to do, but he pushed her down to the bed and pinned her hands above her.

"Shut up and listen to me!" he commanded angrily. His harsh words surprised her and she stopped struggling but hate still filled her eyes.

Using his free hand he pulled the chain roughly from his neck, not caring when it broke. Throwing the chain to the side he slipped the ring back on her finger, just like that night in her bedroom after Jun's visit.

"I meant every word I said when I gave this to you and I will never take it back. Hao yanked it off you after you passed out and threw it to the ground because it was helping you remember and he couldn't have that. I kept it with me because I refused to give up until I found you and done everything I could to get you back. If I had realized it was you in the mist I would have let you kill me before I hurt you. I was so happy to see you that I didn't notice that you had been hit until I pushed you off me. Try and remember Pirika please. I would never hurt you."

She wanted to snap back that he was hurting her right now, but suddenly she realized he wasn't. He was careful with how he sat on her, only trying to keep her down, he was keeping all of his weight on his legs. The hand that was restraining her wrists held her firmly but didn't use any more pressure that needed.

The flood of memories started again, everything that Hao had shown her, that she had dreamed, that Ren had told her that night, the sting of the slap he had given her only the night before filled her mind and it all overwhelmed her. "It's all such a mess!" she cried desperately. They all contradicted each other and her mind couldn't tell one from the other until she was taken over by chaos.

#

Her eyes opened slowly to see a plain room around her. She could feel someone behind her, running their hands through her hair. "Are you awake snow bunny?" a voice asked softly. Rolling over quickly she expected to meet a pair of hungry dark brown eyes, sure that everything from the night before had been a dream after she had let Hao have her.

Instead a pair of golden tiger eyes stared back They weren't hungry or angry, they were soft, and maybe a little worried. "R-Ren-kun?" she asked softly, her throat sore from yelling at him earlier.

"That would be me," he said, the cocky smirk she loved back in place. She still didn't know what was true or who was lying but with the gentle way he stroked her hair she didn't care right now. She was scared and confused and exhausted and a dozen other emotions she couldn't even name.

For just this one moment, he made it all go away. Also he had used his pet name for her and it made her feel warm and fuzzy instead of uncomfortable as Hao's had.

"What happened?" she asked, laying her head down again. His hand faltered for a second before continuing as if it hadn't.

"I don't actually know. I let you up but you just went stiff and fainted. Gave me more of a scare then I would like to admit."

She couldn't help but smile. Something told her he really had worried about her.

"Don't you remember the accident Piri?" he asked sadly.

Tears welling up she shook her head. "I have things that I remember from dreams, things that Hao told me, things that you told me, but other than that I have nothing. I-I don't know what's real and what's not."

Pulling her up into his lap he rocked her gently. "We were driving to the airport to go to China when something happened. There was a crash and I was out for a few seconds before I woke up in the street. I looked but you weren't there. I could see where you landed and a trail of blood leading away but you were gone. Your brother and Yoh searched the area but it was as if you just disappeared. I know they called Lyserg, but I-I wasn't really myself after that."

His last words were mumbled and she could tell he was ashamed so she didn't ask. "Hao told me that I was training outside with you and onii-chan and I couldn't keep up so you both got upset and attacked me. You told me that a weak girl like me would never belong and you left me there dying."

She could feel him shaking with anger and it sounded like he was choking. Sensing his changed emotions she to squirm away from him but he spoke before she got more than off his lap. "Wait, just-just give me a second," he snarled, hands clenched tightly.

Still fearful she settled down again. He was furious, but unlike when Hao was angry, she didn't feel like she needed to hide in a corner.  
Before long he had himself mostly under control. "Pirika, neither of us would ever hurt you, for any reason. We don't care how strong you are, hell, I wouldn't care if you weren't a shaman. As long as you were happy nothing else would matter. How could you ever think differently?"

"Everything seems real," she tried to explain. "The things that Hao told me, they play through my head. I can see them happening. But I've had dreams that feel right as well. Then everything you tell me, I see that too. I see it all but they all contradict each other and I can't tell what's real. I know it can't all be true, but I can't sort through it."

Ren bit his tongue to keep from snapping at her. Instead he grabbed her around the middle and moved her to his lap again. Not letting herself think, she just responded naturally and curled up into his chest.

"Why don't we try this? You tell me something that you remember and I'll tell you if it's real. At that point you can make your own decisions."

At first she just thought it would be like the things Hao had been telling her for weeks and it would add to the confusion, but maybe it wouldn't. Hao had always pushed something towards her, given her a memory that she had then seen. If Ren was going to just listen to what she knew he wouldn't be adding anything to the chaos and if she didn't believe him then she didn't have to. "Alright," she agreed softly.

"Start where ever you want," he told her, leaning back and closing his eyes.

Thinking through everything she had heard, she decided to start with the first thing that came to mind. "When you found out about my grades you told me I either had to work with you and bring them up or you would tell my brother so he would make me quit my job. The first thing that ever really happened between us and it was basically blackmail."

Ren couldn't help but smirk even though he knew it didn't really fit the situation. "Okay that's true but it was for your own good. I couldn't watch you give up and I knew it was the only way you would listen." She didn't know why, but she gave a soft giggle. "Next."

"Onii-chan and you didn't train me because you wanted to be able to control me."

"No. You never asked me for training or I would have agreed and your brother was afraid that if he trained you before the fight you would join behind his back. After that I'm not sure, but knowing that baka he probably didn't realize you still wanted it."

Giving a sigh she decided to switch back and forth between her dreams and what Hao had told her. "I remember we were going somewhere and onii-chan was with us. I started to pull back a little and threw snowballs at both of you. You got mad and thought we were being silly, but once onii-chan hit you with one we teamed up against him until he had to use Kororo to get unburied from the snow."

"If I had a few more minutes he never would have gotten out of that snow bank," he told her with a laugh. "And if you recall I got my revenge on you later that week."

Closing her eyes she tried to clear her mind and let the memory come to her. She smiled as it started. "It was after that chick flick you hadn't wanted to see. I had wanted to walk because it was so nice out, though you were complaining about the cold. We were half way back when you told me you dropped something and would catch up in a minute. I had forgotten all about the snow ball fight so I didn't think twice."

"Then I grabbed a handful of snow and dropped it down the front of your shirt," he finished, whispering in her ear.

"Then I slapped you and walked home alone. Once I got back I told my brother thinking he would get angry with you but he just laughed. I hit him too."

She had started to relax in his arms as they remembered that night together. "The two times that first summer when you left for a week, the extra days you were gone you were with a girl your parents chose for you."

Now he just rolled his eyes. "If my parents ever chose a girl for me I would run far and fast."

"But you were with a girl. Was it one of the dozen cheerleaders you toyed with?"

"I broke up with Kanako only a week after I started helping you with your school work and I haven't looked at another girl since, let alone spent time with one." He could tell she didn't believe him by the way her head hung so he lifted her chin till their eyes met. "Pirika I have been with only you since the beginning and I don't want anyone else."

Looking down at the scar on her wrist she thought about it for a bit more before she continued, forgetting about any of her dreams. "Onii-chan did this to me when I was little and upset him," she said pointing to it.

For the first time Ren hesitated. All of her previous memories had been involving just him or him and her brother. Ren knew how she got it of course, Horohoro had told him last year when he asked about it, although only her brother knew the details. Still, this wasn't his story to tell.

She had noticed his reluctance and thought he was just trying to think up a lie. After waiting another moment she pulled back and looked up at him fearfully. "Tell me how I got this and don't you dare lie to me!"

Giving a sigh Ren spoke. "Your brother didn't give it to you, nor did I or any of the others. You got it on your fifth birthday, years before any of the rest of us met you. I can't tell you any more than that."

"Can't or won't? Maybe you just can't come up with a story good enough!"

"I only know the basics of what happened. This is something you need to hear from your brother. One thing that I will tell you is the person who gave you that will never hurt you again."

Pirika looked down at the ground and tried to keep the tears from her eyes while deciding whether or not she believed him. Finally she met his eye again.

"Why should I believe you when you told me that you loved me that night when you had never said it before? Not when you first kissed me, not when you tried to get me to sleep with you, not even when you asked for my hand."

Now he looked uncomfortable. "I've always felt that way; it just isn't something I have ever said to anyone before. Seeing you that night after I had all but lost hope, I-I've never been that happy in entire life. Not when I first kissed you, not when I tried to get you in bed, not even when I asked you to marry me. Any of those times I could have survived, no matter what had happened, no matter what you did. As long as you were safe and happy you could have told me you never wanted to see me again and I would have survived. But when I found out you had been with Hao, and I didn't know what he had been doing to you, or how he had tricked you. The fear of that and the joy at seeing you alive and mostly well, I-I don't know."

She couldn't help but cry at his words. They were filled with a level of emotion she had never heard from the man. Suddenly it all overwhelmed her. All the memories of the two of them together were coming back to her, stronger than before. The memories Hao had given her were fading, starting to blur together. Things with Ren felt right, as things with Hao never had. Looking down at the ring again on her hand she remembered the night they had been in his bed at his apartment.

#

 _He was lying above her kissing her deeply as he had been for the last hour, tongue searching her mouth. It had been six months since the first time he had kissed her when she had been barely 16. Six long wonderful months, but he had wanted her for so long he didn't know how much longer he could wait. Slowly he moved his hand under her shirt. He felt her squirm slightly under his touch but when she didn't stop him he continued. Each move he made was slow and careful as he knew she had never been anywhere near this far. When he slipped his hand under her skirt though, she pushed him away._

 _"I-I'm sorry Ren-kun but I c-can't," she whispered thoroughly ashamed of herself._

 _Rolling off of her he groaned through his ragged breaths. "Damn it woman. Do you have any idea what you do to me?" he asked desperately._

 _As she sat up he could hear her start to cry. "I-I'm s-sorry," she stuttered._

 _Sighing he turned towards her and opened his arms. "Come here," he snapped. She looked over fearfully, as if expecting it was a trap. "Come. Here.," he ordered again. This time she obeyed, albeit slowly. Once she was within reach he pulled her close._

 _"Please don't hate me," she pleaded through her tears._

 _"Stupid snow bunny," he said, almost smiling at how silly she could be. "I could never hate you. The problem is how much I want you." She wrapped her arms tightly around him as if afraid he would push her away. He sighed deeply as he started running his hands through her hair. "You had better be worth this," he muttered coldly. Pulling away slightly she looked up at him confused, sniffling lightly. Giving her a sad smirk he pushed her back down onto the bed. "If I don't get to screw you, I am going to make out with you," he told her before his lips met hers again, starting gently but quickly making it more needy._

 _"I love you Ren-kun," she whispered softly against his lips when he pulled back to breath._

 _"Shut up," he ordered, only succeeding in making her giggle before he captured her lips again._

#

Thinking back to the night before and the way Hao had kissed her and touched her, she pushed away from Ren, ran to the bathroom and started to throw up. Ren was only just behind and held her silky blue hair up to keep it out of the way.

It was a few minutes before she straightened up again, face flushed as if with fever. He didn't speak, instead he just stayed with her as she rinsed her mouth out with mouthwash. Once she was finished she turned and moved towards him, wracked with sobs.

He held her in his arms until she moved back and looked up at him. "Ren-kun, I want you to have sex with me."

Now he looked down at her coldly and walked away from her. "Pirika, I won't sleep with you just because you regret what Hao did to you," he snapped but she grabbed his arm frantically.

"I didn't sl-." Taking a deep breath she tried again after she stuttered. "Hao never did anything to me, I promise. He wanted to last night but I fell apart and begged for another day. It was all I could think of at the time. I'm still a-a virgin Ren-kun and I want you now," she insisted.

"Fine! Whatever! I believe you. Why are you pushing like this? You all but begged me to wait for years. I agreed and I was willing to wait to make you happy. Now, what? Does none of that matter anymore?"

She fell to the ground and held herself at his sharp words. "I think you're telling the truth and I think Hao was using me. I have to live with those memories forever. He almost took everything from me. You are the only reason I'm still okay. Everything that has happened just makes me think waiting is stupid. I love you Ren-kun. I love you more than anything and I don't want anyone else to get me first. Everything can change so quickly and that would be something I can never take back. Please, I don't want to wait anymore."

Standing in front of him was the woman he had dreamed of for years, telling him that she wanted him and he was supposed to resist her? He tried, but she looked so weak and pathetic sitting there crying, wanting nothing more than to be held and loved. After everything that she had been through could he deny her that? Could he deny her anything?

Although he would never admit it, he blamed himself. He knew his parents would never approve of her but still he tried to drag her to China to meet them.

He knew in the end she would only be hurt by it, just for a chance to stay in the family he had always hated and never trusted. If he hadn't made her go, they never would have been in the crash and Hao never would have seen his chance. She never would have gone through this if he had put her first like he should have. It was his fault.

Reaching down he pulled her to her feet and sent his lips crashing down onto hers. The tears kept flowing down her cheeks but she wrapped her arms around his neck and met him just as eagerly. It was desperate the way they clung to each other, but he was still being careful with her. If they were going to do this here and now he wanted to make it everything she had been hoping for.

#

She couldn't keep the smile off her face as her head rested on his bare chest. The way he had touched her, it was as if she was made of glass and he had feared breaking her. He had held her gently and his fingers had glided over her pale white skin.

"Was I worth it Ren-kun?" she asked with a giggle.

He couldn't help but laugh softly at how innocent and sweet she could be. "Wo ai ni," he whispered into her ear.

"What does that mean?" she asked looking up at him.

The cocky smirk that she saw made her smile grow. "I think you can figure it out snow bunny," he told her, as she lay back down onto him.

"I love you too Ren-kun," she whispered as she closed her eyes.

#

Authors note: Please read and review. Show me that love for Shaman King isn't dead!


	4. Chapter 4

#

 **Chapter 4**

#

When she woke up she was still snuggled into Ren's chest and she had no idea of the time. The one thing she did know was that she was starving. Hao had always made sure she had food, but it had been limited and never really tasted great.

"I'm hungry," she whispered softly making him smirk.

"It's nearly three so I'm not all that surprised. You haven't eaten in well over twelve hours. If you get dressed we can go out."

She sat up slowly and stretched as he slipped into his new jeans. Thoughts and new memories danced through her head as she pulled on her dress and clipped the belt.

"Where are we going?" she asked nervously.

"I don't care," he answered honestly. "I just think you need to be out around people again. With how we were searching you couldn't have spent much, if any, time in public. Am I right?"

Looking down unhappily she nodded. "We only left the encampment when he took me to attac-… that night."

He gave her a soft kiss on the head before he pulled out a pair of boots from the things he had yet to unpack and set them in front of her. "Pirika, we don't care about anything that happened as long you are back with us and safe. Nothing else matters."

"I don't believe you. I've been terrible. I broke onii-chans board, I attacked you, I made you all worry about me. None of you should ever forgive me."

"No. That was Hao," Ren corrected her coldly. "It was the perfect opportunity for him. You lost your memory and he could replace it with whatever he so desired. He knew your brother and I could never knowingly hurt you. We would both die first. The others might be able to fight, but they would hold back, afraid to hurt someone so close to them."

She wanted nothing more than to believe him, to think that she could just go back and have everyone still love her, but it wasn't possible. Frankly she didn't even know how Ren could look at her anymore, after the things she said to him that night, how she attacked him, threatened him.

Why he was here was a puzzle she couldn't solve. She didn't actually want to solve it. For now he was acting like he cared, forgiving her, treating her well, even if it didn't last, she wanted to feel this way. Maybe it was all just a ploy to get her safely back to her brother. He had been reluctant to stop, what if he wanted to make sure she was away from Hao?

"Pirika!" he called sharply, trying to get her attention. "Put your boots on so we can go."

She looked up at him startled at the way she had been pulled from her thoughts. "Sorry I was just thinking," she muttered, slipping the boots on and following him out the door.

#

Things were fine until they got to a busy street, then she started to get uncomfortable. Since the accident she had only been around Hao and his followers and they numbered less than a dozen. Now, here she was, on the outskirts of Tokyo, surrounded by more people than she could count and every noise was making her jump.

Out of desperation she grabbed Ren's upper arm, more than a little surprised when he didn't shake her off. Instead he acted as if he didn't notice as they weaved through the streets. "Where do you want to go?" he asked once they got to a row of all types of restaurants.

Looking up and down while biting her lip she shrugged. "I don't care just as long as it's real food. I'm so tired of camp junk I could puke." Giving a pained smile he pulled her to one of the closest places, knowing she would be drawn in by the smell of the fish.

He was right. After the pair walked in she gave him a nervous smile. Pirika loved fish of any type but Ren was at most mildly fond of it so he only brought her out for sushi very occasionally. If he was taking her here now it was simply to make her happy, show her that he remembered the little things, and most of all do something that would in some way prove he cared.

He knew what had been going through her mind back at the room, the fears she had. The problem was there was no way he could make her believe he didn't blame her and was just happy he had her back. No matter what he said, after all the lies she had been fed, he couldn't make her trust him. As much as it hurt, she had to learn that on her own.

All he could do now was be patient and do the little things he could for her. Her other memories were coming back and so he hoped it would return soon as well since patience was not something he had a large supply of. She had to see it eventually; he didn't know what he would do if she didn't.

Afraid he would run, she grabbed his hand tightly under the table once they were seated. Over the past two years they had both had to make compromises about affection.

One thing he had eventually given in to was letting her hold his hand either under the table or in a dark movie theater. The last thing he could do now was pull away, no matter how awkward it was for him.

After she had gotten some food in her stomach he touched her shoulder gently, knowing he was about to upset her. "Pirika, you need to go back. Your brother has been stuck in a living nightmare for weeks. He needs to know you're safe."

Slowly she set her chopsticks down and looked away. "You do just want to get rid of me," she managed through the tears that started quickly.

"I'm not leaving you Piri. I will stay with you for as long as you want, but the longer you put this off the harder it's going to get."

"I can't," she sobbed. "He'll hate me. If I lose him I'll have lost everything."

Ren was losing his temper. He was taking her back one way or another but he really wanted her to come willingly. Horohoro needed to know she was alright and Pirika just needed him in general. If upsetting her and possibly losing her was what it took so he could know both of them would be able to recover he would do it.

"Look at me," he commanded. When he used that tone she always listened, knowing how serious he was. "All he wants is to see you. Nothing else matters to him, but if by some kind of divine intervention he blames you I promise I will stay with you. The only thing that will make me leave you at this point is you telling me to go."

He looked her right in the eye as he spoke, voice confident and never wavering. She wanted to believe him but mostly she wanted to see her brother. Trying to fight back the tears she nodded, "If you really promise," she said softly lifting her hand in front of him and sticking out her pinkie.

"You can't be serious," he said simply, not believing she was actually doing this. Her eyes were filed with innocence as she nodded, keeping her finger in place. Ren rolled his eyes but she couldn't miss the tiniest pull of a smile on his lips. This was his Pirika, childish, silly, stubborn, and it was nice to see it again, even if only for a moment.

Giving her an exaggerated sigh he reached forward and locked his finger in hers. "Now finish eating so we can find Hakuoh, grab what we need from the hotel and get back before dark." Pirika couldn't help but give him a shy smile as she picked up her chopsticks again.

#

He could feel her trembling beside her as they got closer. When they were a few blocks away she had insisted they walk, most likely because it would give her more time to dawdle. Deciding to humor her for now he lifted her off the horse and took her hand, knowing Hakuoh would follow in time.

When the onsen was finally in sight she started to cry. "R-Ren-kun I just can't. I'd rather be alone than have them hate me."

"Pirika they aren't going to hate you," he told her, quickly losing patience.

"No. Please. I don't want to do this. I wanna go back." It was obvious she had lost all her courage by the way she was pulling away from him, trying to run. Making sure she was distracted with her fears, he turned to Bason.

"Get him," he ordered in a barely audible whisper.

#

"Horohoro, the master wishes to see you outside."

Horohoro just scoffed angrily. "I don't care what kind of trouble that bastard has gotten into this time I want nothing to do with it. He gets himself into these kinds of messes he can get himself out again. I have better things to deal with."

The Ainu turned to walk away but Bason just moved in front of him again. "It is of the utmost importance that you come immediately."

"Tell me what this is about Bason and I will think about it."

"Please," the Chinese spirit begged desperately. "I am unable to tell you but you will understand soon."

Surprised at how pushy the normally agreeable ghost was being and the frantic tone of his voice, he decided to follow. Walking out to the street he could see Ren struggling with someone. He was trying to pull them forward but whoever was with him was fighting as hard as they could to get away.

"What are you doing Ren?" he called. The Chinese shaman may be cocky, arrogant, self-centered, rude, cruel even at times, but kidnapping wasn't in his normal list of offenses. When the girl he was fighting with looked up in terror at his voice he met her eyes and screamed her name. "Pirika! Oh spirits is it actually you?"

He couldn't have cared less why she was crying, or why Ren was trying to force her to do something she didn't want to. All that mattered was that she was here. Catching his eye she debated running away, but she hadn't had a proper look at her brother since before the accident and seeing him now was too much for her to handle.

Shaking off Ren's much loosened grip she ran, but instead of away she ran straight at him sobbing. She jumped at him, knocking him to the ground but he couldn't have cared less. His arms held her as tightly as he could and he could do nothing but cry as he rested his head on her shoulder.

The commotion had sent everyone running outside and after seeing the smile on Ren's face and the blue haired girl wrapped in her brothers arms they understood. By the time the two pulled apart they had surrounded the pair of them. Seeing that she was trapped, she started to panic and pushed lightly away from her brother, rolling quickly to her feet.

Finally seeing a way to run she had been about to take it when Ren grabbed her arm tightly. "Pirika you're fine. You're safe and no one here is going to blame you for anything," he told her confidently. Her brother was now standing and they were all looking at her strangely.

Realizing she wasn't going to get away she instead decided to hide by Ren, the one person who's memories had mostly come back to her.

"What's wrong with her?" Yoh asked confused.

Sighing, Ren looked down at the girl in front of him who was trembling again. "Let's go inside," he suggested hoping being back in the onsen with everyone sitting instead of towering over her, she would calm some. Looking between the two Yoh nodded and led the group in.

By the time Ren and Pirika walked into the room there was only a single chair left open and Ren walked to it. Still not wanting to be alone she refused to let go of him and sat down in his lap. She heard him growl at her softly, but she didn't really care.

Ren wanted very little to do with public affection and normally she was happy to oblige, but this time it was his turn to bend. Still scared and confused, she wasn't going to leave his side for any reason.

"So what happened? How did you find her? How did you get her to come with you?" Yoh asked, each question immediately after the previous one with no chance to answer.

"Damn it Asakura slow down. I don't have all the answers and she still hasn't filled in the blanks that she can." Taking a deep breath he tried to straighten his thoughts into some logical order. "Something must have happened after the accident. She lost her memory. But Hao was there to help. He told her that she had been hurt because we had attacked her. That's all I really know." Poking her in the side he motioned her forward. "Your turn."

Biting her lip she looked around the full room. Nearly everyone was here. Yoh and Anna of course, but also Tamao, Lyserg, Manta, Chocolove, Ryu, Faust and all of the associated spirits. No one looked angry or upset, just curious and happy.

"W-when I first woke up I couldn't remember anything. Ha-he was there. He said that you had all abandoned me. When he told me things, I would be able to see the pictures in my head afterward. They were real, I could watch them happening. B-but then I started having dreams that didn't fit. In my dreams things were different. You were all nice to me. I was confused."

She had been watching her brother as she spoke and finally she decided to go over to him. Crawling over to where he was sitting on the floor she sat in front of him as he hugged her. "I didn't know what to believe, it all felt real. I could see it all. After a few weeks I talked to Oyuki, the spirit Hao had given me, about it and she said that my dreams were probably just my way of handling the pain. That it was all a world I had made up for when I needed to escape everything. But then when I came here last week and I fo-fought with Ren everything just got more jumbled. Eventually I decided that he must have been lying to me, just trying to buy time. I couldn't believe that he would go to his father for help no matter what was at risk. I still don't."

Ren gave an angry snort but when Horohoro opened his mouth to speak Ren just shook his head. He knew he would have to tell her what had happened eventually but now really wasn't the time. She was mostly correct. He would rather die than ask his father for anything. She was the one exception. Nothing else was worth enough to him. No matter what she thought, there was nothing he wouldn't do for her, including push away his pride.

If only he wasn't too proud to admit it to her, then maybe she could understand what she meant to him.

Pirika looked over at Ren. She had forgotten all about that part of it, although everything else was coming back now that she was here around everyone. From the very beginning that had been the one thing she couldn't believe, no matter how hard she tried. If it had been a lie, then why?

She was remembering everything else fine. He had told her he loved her, not in a language she could understand, but still, he had said it. All the memories he had listed had come back with little prodding and she had even decided that he hadn't been trying to stall her while talking.

If he had just wanted to get rid of her he wouldn't have stopped the others from running in. Seeing him threatened and knowing Hao was there they probably would have attacked without thinking, not knowing who she was, but he kept them away, despite the risk to himself.

Actually he hadn't been in any real danger. Now that her mind was clear it was obvious that she never could have beaten them. The only reason she had the upper hand was because they weren't expecting it and they would avoid hurting her at all costs. Any one of them could defeat her easily if they had been so inclined. The only reason she had gotten away at all was because Hao had moved in.

What could that one lie have done for him? Why would he risk losing any trust he had gained by the memories he had brought back? But it just couldn't be true. It wasn't possible. Even after her brother and all of their friends knew what was between them, he refused to tell his parents or even Jun in fear that she would let it slip.

She had actually been astounded when he told her they were going to China. Part of her had expected that their relationship would never go farther than it was then because it was the only way to keep his family out of it. No matter what type of power Ren had, they would find out if he had married.

How reluctant he had been to introduce her had made the idea of meeting them terrifying. That and everything she had learned about them from the others. Since the pair had started dating her brother had skimmed over everything she had asked about them, most likely because of how bad it all was, but she managed to sneak a few things out of the others when they hadn't been paying attention and she could remember some of the things she had learned before they had gotten together.

Ren had more pride than any other person she had ever met and she knew how he loathed his father. He never spent a second with the man that wasn't required, and he would never have asked for help, least of all from Tao Yuan.

She also had a strong suspicion that his parents would have specific problems with her. A few of which might include her low shamanic abilities, the fact that she is an orphan from a tribal people instead of an old rich family, and if all that wasn't enough, she was Japanese. No matter how many years had passed there was still a deep mistrust between the two countries.

They would never see her as a worthy wife for a Tao. Ren didn't know that she had worked it out, or at least she didn't think he did. Either way, it meant that in order to ask for his father's help, he would not only need to suck up his pride but he would also have to explain that they were together and that wouldn't go over well.

She had been trying to learn some customs in the week or so before they had been planning to leave in hopes that she could impress them in some way, without that she didn't stand a chance. Actually even with it her chances were slim.

His father would mostly likely have seen her disappearance as a blessing and would have no desire for her to be found. All of that added up to mean he wouldn't have gone back to them. Suddenly she realized she had been staring at him for a number of minutes while it all played through her head.

"What I don't understand is how he did it." Yoh commented, mostly just thinking aloud. "He had to have seen the accident, come up with the plan, then moved in and grabbed her all in a matter of seconds."

"He didn't," Ren snapped. "It was all too perfect, too planned. She was the ideal one to take. Anna never would have worked for about half a dozen reasons. Tamao isn't bold enough and wouldn't have the desire for revenge. She would just shy away from any of it. I don't think it was an accident at all. Somehow he arranged for the crash and was waiting to take her. The only thing I don't know is how he would be able to ensure she would lose her memories."

"That actually has a very easy answer," a voice called from the window. Ren jumped to his feet as they turned to see Hao sitting in the window sill right behind the Ainu siblings. Pirika screamed and allowed Horohoro to push her towards the center of the room so he could ready himself as well. Once she was up she ran towards Ren, allowing him to roughly grab her arm and move her behind him.

Hao seemed to find the entire situation extremely amusing, watching the girl he had wrapped around his finger only days earlier fleeing from him. Yoh was sitting at the edge of his seat, debating whether or not to move forward. At the moment Hao wasn't making any moves to fight, he was just sitting there calmly.

"Hello my pet," Hao called gently, looking at the girl hiding behind Ren crying. Both Horohoro and Ren looked ready to kill but Yoh kept them back with a gesture. Hao wanted them to come at him, they were angry and if they made the first move it would be emotional, easy to predict, and as such, easy to defeat.

"A few simple observations and I knew the two of you were leaving, so I came up with a little plan. It's amazing how much damage you can cause when you cut a simple break line. And after all my careful planning I wouldn't leave anything as important as her memory up to chance. She couldn't forget everything or she would have no reason to be angry. For that I needed her to remember all of you but only vaguely so that I would be able to manipulate the rest."

"You used a drug of some sort," Faust guessed, things suddenly making more sense to him. "If she was given a large dose at the beginning she would lose almost everything for a period of time. It would work more as a suppression really. Everything would be intact but it would be hard to grasp. With a few pointed remarks you would be able to choose what she could recall."

Hao nodded, a smirk firmly in place as the German doctor continued.

"After that you could use something else so she would be easy to influence. That's why things have been coming back to her now, she isn't being drugged and you aren't around to suppress the bits you wanted to avoid."

"I made only one mistake," Hao informed them. "I hadn't expected you to still have that much leverage on her. She had kept the ring and I thought it would give her more of a reason to fight, but that didn't work. As soon as that Tao started talking to her, she started to doubt and having the ring on her at the time only helped. If he hadn't made her pause she would have killed him right there. She had been so close. At that point you would have been 1 down, 1 unarmed, and still unsure of what you were fighting thanks to the fog. I never expected her to be able to take you all out, and I didn't need her to. Picking off a few of you would have made my job easier. Then I would have left her to regain her memories and realize what she did. She would be shattered and the rest of you would be in mourning. You would have been so weak nothing would have stopped me from gaining my rightful position."

"Well you failed," Yoh told his brother calmly. "We know you're here and we have Pirika safe and free from whatever brainwashing you used. All of us are still here and more than capable of fighting. You may be back, but the followers you still have left are limited. Leave now and I will just watch you, making sure you stay out of trouble. The other option is a fight and I think we all know how that will end."

"For now we shall part ways my brother," Hao said agreeably jumping outside and walking into the night.

Once everyone released the breath they were holding they turned to see that Pirika had fallen to her knees and was sobbing. Looking between Ren and her brother Yoh nodded. She had just learned what had happened to her and it was overwhelming. "Tamao why don't you help get Pirika changed into pajamas. She needs to rest."

The pink haired woman nodded and took her friends hand to lead her upstairs. "Don't leave her alone. I don't care how calm Hao seemed, she ruined all his plans when she left with me and he might want revenge," Ren called coldly as they left the room.

"I won't Ren." Still tense Ren dropped back into the chair.

"I'll stay with her tomorrow, she probably wants you tonight," Horohoro said softly as he stood up and left the room.

No others words were spoken as one by one the others filtered out. Ren was surprised by his friend's words. He had always been far more supportive of the relationship between Ren and his sister than anyone had expected, and it seemed this had helped even more.

Pirika may not know what he had done in China for her, but the others had figured it out quickly. Maybe not all the details, but they knew he had gone, and they knew it hadn't gone well. After waiting for fifteen or twenty minutes he headed up to her room.

Tamao called him in after he knocked and headed out before he closed the door. Instead of moving towards her he watched as she walked around the room and ran her hands over different things, letting the memories come slowly. Starting at the desk she touched the first picture.

This one was taken when she was only three. It was a picture of her brother giving her a piggy back ride with both of them laughing. There was also an odd green creature standing beside them on the left looking at the Ainu girl with a creepy smile. On the right was a snowman they had built together.

#

 _Putting her hands on her hips she looked over proudly at the snowman she had just built. She had been so completely absorbed in her task that she had been unaware of her brother sneaking up behind her._

 _"BOO!" he shouted jumping forward. Caught by surprise Pirika shrieked and fell down, toppling her newly finished creation._

 _Looking between the remains of her snowman and her laughing brother she could feel her temper boiling over. Clenching her fists she got to her feet and ran at him. "I'm gonna kill you onii-chan!" she screamed._

 _Horohoro knew she would be angry at his trick, but he had just expected her to cry, not attack him. Giving a small noise of surprise, he jumped and took off towards the forest, hoping to lose her. Although her legs were shorter she kept pace well until he ran out onto an open lake._

 _About halfway across she slipped and fell down. "Onii-chan," she called desperately as she heard it cracking beneath her. What was happening had come to him too late and he was only halfway back to her when she fell through the ice and disappeared from view._

 _At this point he was panicking, not only was the water cold, but Pirika didn't know how to swim and the temperature would only constrict her muscles. He wanted to help her, but if he got too close to the hole it would get bigger and he could fall in as well. Being from the north he had been taught how to react when someone went into the water, but his sister still hadn't come up and his knowledge was quickly slipping away._

 _Taking a few steps back he searched the ice for a dark spot, any hint of where she was stuck. Finally he saw her come up from the depths and ran over, thanking the spirits he had remembered to bring his knife with him. Being out in the wilderness like this could be dangerous, and having a weapon of some sort was always recommended, but often he forgot, being more than a little scatterbrained._

 _Pulling off his jacket, he moved about a foot away from where she was trying to get back up and repeatedly stabbed into the ice. Once he had made a small hole he used his elbow to make it bigger. As soon as he knew she would fit he reached his arm in and grabbed her. Knowing how dangerous it was to stay out on the already shattered ice he picked up his jacket and drug her to the safe snow._

 _Letting her go he watched helplessly as she sputtered and tried to get all the water out of her lungs. As soon as she stopped coughing up lake water, he wrapped his jacket around her, ignoring the bite of the wind on his own bare skin._

 _Looking up at him, it was obvious she was still frightened even though she was safe on land. "Are you okay Piri?" he asked nervously. Her throat was burning and she was unable to speak, so instead she just gave a nod. "How did you hold your breath that long? How did you get back to the surface?"_

 _Looking over his shoulder, she raised a small shaking hand and pointed. Turning he saw a green creature about his size standing there. "Kappa?" he whispered, looking at the shell on its back, its webbed toes, and tooth filled beak. Giving a creepy smile it nodded. Getting to his feet Horohoro put his hands together and bowed. "Thank you for saving my sister," he told it gratefully. When the beast went to bow back he hit it. "Baka I need to help her, not try and fill your head with water again!" Nodding again it gave a silky, disturbing laugh. Turning back, Horohoro pulled Pirika to her feet, making sure the jacket stayed on her. "Can you walk?" he asked. He wasn't surprised when her legs wobbled and she shook her head. "Alright, get on my back."_

 _"Wait," she whispered her voice scratchy._

 _"Piri, we need to get you inside," he pleaded._

 _Before he knew what had happened she punched him right in the face. "That's for scaring me." Seeing the determined look in her eyes he just laughed and pulled her onto his back._

 _It was a short trip, and only about halfway back, he felt like he was being followed. Looking over his shoulder he saw the kappa still following them. "You don't have to follow us. I'm gonna take care of her. Go back home."_

 _The creature kept surprising him as it shook its head and pointed to the girl he carried. Deciding not to worry about it, he shrugged and resumed his trek back to the house._

 _Since that day, the girl and Kappa had parted very rarely, although he was shy and rarely showed himself._

#

The thought of him pulled her back to reality "Mem!" she cried out, thinking of him for the first time. "Where is he?""

Looking at the ground Ren debated how to answer. "No one has seen him since the accident. Truthfully I hadn't even thought about it until I ended up back here weeks later.

It occurred to the others some time before that, but I doubt they were concerned with anything but finding you."

"But I want him. He needs me. We have to find him!"

"If you promise to calm down, we can go downstairs and ask the others to start looking for him, but then you are coming back up here and resting again." Ignoring him completely, she pushed past and ran to the kitchen where she heard voices. Only a few people were downstairs but it would be better than nothing.

"Where is Mem?" she asked desperately.

They all shared a cautious look before her brother spoke. "He has been gone since you first went missing. Even just after the crash we could only find Bason and the Spirit of Thunder." Seeing how she was starting to panic he sighed. "Pirika, I promise we will find him, but you have only been back a few hours and we spent over a month looking. Everyone is exhausted. You need rest; we need rest. There is a chance that he was scared away after the accident and with you here, he will come back. If not, I will go out and look with you, but give it two days."

Tears filled her eyes, but she turned and started to go back upstairs but stopped suddenly. "Why are we staying here? I want to sleep in my own bed," she whined.

Glancing between the frustrated look on Horohoro's face and the stubborn look on Pirika's, Ren answered for him. "Because Hao might want revenge and you will be easier to protect here with all of us."

Grabbing her hand, Ren started to pull her from the room as he got a grateful smile from Horohoro. In a matter of twelve hours he had gone from thinking Hao had taken her from the accident and still had her, to knowing it wasn't an accident and she had been manipulated, to having her safe with him again and the Ainu man was overwhelmed. It was a lot to take in and with how much had changed in the 5 weeks she had been gone, he just wasn't up to explaining it all tonight, not to mention she probably wasn't up to hearing it.

"Now you are going upstairs to rest if I have to carry you." Accepting defeat, she went back to her room but once inside something else occurred to her. All the pictures and knick-knacks scattered around the room were taken from her bedroom. Looking around it seemed that the only thing from her room that wasn't here was the furniture.

Following her eyes around the room he knew what she was thinking. "He lost the apartment over two weeks ago," he told her gently.

The tears poured from her eyes as she looked back, hoping it was a joke. "But why?" she asked, voice breaking.

Avoiding her gaze he decided to tell her only a tiny bit, in hopes that she would accept it for now and sleep. "It was easier for him to stay here while we were looking because he would be close by if anything happened."

She didn't fall for it. "He could have just stayed here. Why would he give up the apartment that took us so long to get? What aren't you telling me Ren-kun?"

"If you get into bed and promise to try and sleep I will answer you."

"Do you have to bribe me to do everything?" she asked, stomping her foot.

"Well it is the only way a stubborn brat like you will listen," he snapped back, not able to hide his smirk.

Glaring, she walked over to the mattress and sat down slowly. At this point she paused, waiting to see if he would talk yet. Knowing what she was trying he shook his head. "I will get my way before I tell you anything," he told her simply, ignoring her angry sigh. She waited for another moment to see if he really meant it. Obviously he did so she lay down and pulled the blankets over herself.

Satisfied with himself he sat beside her. "It would be better if you let this wait until morning little snow bunny," he suggested, knowing she would deny. Receiving a glare he gave up. "He was only allowed two weeks off work before they said he had to choose, and after that he did, picking the only option he could."

"I ruined everything by being stupid," she cried, covering her face.

"You heard Hao. He drugged you. There was nothing you could have done. With how carefully he planned it, I'm impressed you were able to break through it at all. Now stop crying."

"But he lost everything! We don't have anywhere to live; we aren't going to have any money for food. What are we going to do?"

Ren just rolled his eyes. After what they had all been through, this wasn't of any concern to him. "You know you can stay here and it's not like you're going to go hungry while you're engaged to a Tao. Horohoro was just waiting for you to graduate so the pair of you could move up north. Now there is nothing keeping you here." When her tears still wouldn't stop, he shut off the light. "Go to sleep," he ordered.

She cried for a bit longer before she rolled over and closed her eyes. "I still don't understand why you would lie about going back to China. Even as confused as I was I would never believe it."

Despite the dark she knew he was angry. "We can talk about that later," he told her coldly, his tone closing the discussion. As unhappy as she was, he would give her nothing else until morning so she shut her eyes and tried to sleep.

#

The next thing she knew, she opened her eyes to see the morning sun peeking through the window. She must have fallen asleep quickly which surprised her. When she had been with Hao sleep had been hard to get, lying awake tossing and turning for hours and then the little sleep she had was disturbed with confusing dreams.

Since Ren had taken her though, she slept well in his arms, going under quickly and sleeping deeply. Rolling over she looked at the sleeping man beside her with a smile. He looked completely at peace and it made her happy. After spending a few more minutes in his arms she crawled out and went to look at the window.

It was only a few minutes before she decided she might as well look over the rest of the pictures while Ren slept. Most of what she had remembered so far was more feelings.

Looking at people's faces reminded her of feeling safe, happy, excited and with them she got blurry images, but the real memories needed cues.

When she was given a few words or the start of a memory she could finish it. All she needed was a little prompting. The pictures documented some of her favorite moments and so wonderful memories. Deciding it would be best to start with the oldest pictures and work her way forward, she moved to the other side of the desk and lifted another frame.

The next picture was from two or three years after the first one had been taken. Pirika and Horohoro were climbing a snow covered tree with Kororo sitting in the water filled crevice on Mem's head and the pair of them were a few branches up avoiding the children. If you looked off in the distance you could see three bright shapes buried in the snow.

#

 _"Onii-chan what if they hurt you?" she asked fearfully._

 _"Piri that doesn't matter. The only thing that's important right now is that we stop them. We both know they are getting too close to the Koropokkur's swamps. If we don't turn them back now it'll be too late. It is going to be dangerous so I want you to stay here, alright?"_

 _The small girls face scrunched up in anger. "No," she whined. "I'm gonna help and you can't stop me."_

 _Horohoro glared at his sister. "I want you safe. That means I want you here."_

 _Crossing her arms over her chest she took a stubborn pose. "If you're going to save the Koropokkur you need to go now and you don't have enough time to stop me."_

 _It was clear he was angry but she was right. "Fine but stay out of the way. I can't help them and keep an eye on you at the same time." He had little faith that she would listen but he couldn't deal with that right now. If she disobeyed he would punish her later, but now was not the time._

 _Turning back to the field he saw a row of Koropokkur waiting for him. "Are you the volunteers?" he asked them, smiling when they nodded. "Okay. I'm going to need one of you to help me and the rest are going to be doing backup and distractions." One of the girl Koropokkurs came forward and gave a number of excited squeaks. "If you want to help that much I'll be glad to have you watching my back."_

 _He turned to the rest of the group but Pirika pushed him away. "I'll handle the rest of the troops," she told him._

 _It required all of his self-control not to laugh at the seriousness in her voice and on her face. "All right, just make sure you keep the focus on me unless I need help." Pirika gave a nod, a different plan already forming in her mind._

 _The group of them walked to the clearing where a trio of machinery was dealing with freshly cut trees. Horohoro pointed to his sister and then a spot well hidden off to the left. Giving a sharp nod she ran for the location he indicated while he got ready to walk out._

 _Once there she directed the remaining Koropokkur. "I need you to break into two groups of three and I want you on opposite sides of the clearing. Both groups will have two of you making as many snowballs as possible and the last one of you will start throwing them as a distraction on my signal. I'm going farther into the clearing and I need all of you to make sure onii-chan doesn't see me."_

 _Giving nods the tiny people grouped up and flew to their assigned locations. "Put on your cap Mem, you and I are going in." Giving his oily smile he pulled out a lid like cap that fit snuggly over the water filled crater on his head and ensured that none of his water spilled from it. Seeing her brother move out among the stumps and get the attention of the working men she moved towards the first machine._

 _"Listen kid you gotta move out of the way. It's dangerous out here."_

 _"The only people in danger here are you if you refuse to turn back now." She listened as he spoke. Normally he was clueless with words but when it started to involve protecting the environment things came to him easily. "These woods are protected and they are vital to our ecosystem. There are creatures that need the trees for food and protection."_

 _Coming to the first vehicle, a large lifting crane of some sort she looked around at the dashboard. First she grabbed the keys and dropped them into her boot for safe keeping. Next she got on her stomach and grabbed a handful of wires from underneath the console. Giving a sharp yank they pulled out easily, leaving only about half of them connected._

 _"Okay Mem, keep your hat on because I'm using your water." Reaching into her bag she pulled out a water bottle she always kept with her in case Mem spilled his water and became frozen in place. Twisting off the cap she poured some of the liquid onto the console, hopefully shorting out all of the electronics. Looking back and forth quickly she headed for the next machine._

 _"When you dig up the trees the soil starts to erode and lose vital nutrients while the water drains away, leaving nothing for the animals to drink and nowhere for the water spirits to live."_

 _Once inside the tractor she repeated the same routine she had done in the other cab, keys, wires, water._

 _"The survival of the entire planet depends on our ability to keep places like this alive."_

 _The last vehicle they had was a flatbed truck already half loaded with freshly cut logs. This one was slightly harder than the first with the wires because she had to crawl under the steering wheel and down by the petals to get to the wires._

 _"I will give you only one chance. Leave here and never come back or accept the consequences."_

 _"We have a successful business going on here and no half grown tribal brat is going to stop us." The man looked like he was going to continue but a shout from another guy behind him drew his attention._

 _Horohoro groaned as a tall man dragged his kicking and screaming sister from the cab of the truck. Once he had brought her to the man in charge he smiled. Grabbing her free wrist he pulled her up by it until her feet left the ground. After crying out in pain she looked right at her brother and nodded. She planned to get herself out of this she just needed a little help._

 _"Let her go!" he snarled angrily, taking all eyes off her._

 _"If the pair of you get out of here and promise never to tell anyone what you saw, you can have her back."_

 _"We will never forget what you're doing and we will never allow it! Illegal logging is one thing but that's a long way off from killing an innocent little girl." At this point he was just buying time and the Koropokkur would soon start whatever distraction his sister had planned for them. Pirika had managed to rearrange so she would be able to unbalance the man holding her._

 _"With how much money we get off each of these trees there is very little we wouldn't do. Getting rid of two bothersome children won't even keep me from sleeping tonight."_

 _Horohoro used the Koropokkur he had brought with him and oversouled quickly as Pirika yanked her arm down so she could reach the man's hand. Before he even knew what happened she bit him as hard as she could, causing him to release his grip on her and curse loudly._

 _The moment her feet hit the ground she ran towards her brother and was safely behind him before the others could respond. Keeping one of her hands tightly in his own he glared at the men, a powdery assault starting from the tree line._

 _"Leave now," he ordered. They clearly weren't going to give up._

 _The leader had blood dripping down his hand but instead of wanting to run he looked ready to kill, his intent only confirmed when he pulled out a small hand gun._  
 _Pirika looked up at the sky as it started to snow heavily. Turning back to her brother he didn't seem to notice. He was focusing intently on the four men in front of them. Just as they started to move towards the siblings a huge avalanche of snow appeared and buried the men and the bottom of the machines._

 _Looking down at his sister he gave a sad sigh. Hurting people wasn't something he enjoyed but he would give anything to protect the Koropokkur. Still it was hard._

 _He was slightly surprised when Pirika got a look of disgust on her face. Suddenly she spit some red liquid from her mouth. "Onii-chan he tasted yucky," she told him with a pout._

 _"It's your own fault for biting him. If you had listened to me it wouldn't have been necessary."_

 _"But I had to stop the trucks! I wanted to break them!"_

 _"And did you?" he asked rolling his eyes. If there were more of the men at another location and they came back to finish what the others started they will have saved nothing._

 _It was a good idea but he hated when she put herself in danger like that._

 _The huge smile that lit her face confirmed that at least she had been successful. Reaching down into her boot she pulled out three sets of keys and handed them over._

 _"I got these, pulled out as many wires as I could and poured water on the buttons and switches." She was extremely proud of herself and Horohoro couldn't bring himself to be angry with her._

 _"Let's dig them out so we can go home Piri," he told her with a smile after slipping the keys in his own pocket._

#

That memory had contained one of the happiest moments of her brother's life. The Koropokkur that had helped him had followed them back just as Mem had years earlier.

She had never left him, choosing to be his guardian ghost from that moment on. Only years later did they discover why she had been so eager to stay.

Most of the memories she had filled in during the last few days had been about Ren, or at the very least he had been in all of them. Being able to push the bad memories about her brother that Hao had given her with happy ones of her own made her all but cry in joy. It filled her with a warmth that she didn't want to lose so she moved to the next picture.

It was taken only a few months after they had met Kororo. Her brother was waiting for her at the bottom of a hill and she was boarding down nervously. It was her first time boarding alone and she was terrified. She had fallen more than a few times. You could tell because her jacket, boots, skirt, even her hair was covered with snow.

#

 _He was waiting for her at the foot of a hill smiling. Kororo was bringing her over. It had taken months but he had finally finished the board he was making for her birthday. When she got closer and saw the Pink piece of wood in his arms her eyes got huge. Her eyes were locked on it as she walked over and ran her hand down it. It was finished in mostly hot pick with some white and black trim. He had done a beautiful job carving it with intricate designs all over._

 _Pirika had always loved her brothers true name, even with how he hated it and when he had carved his own board she had told him he should put it on it somewhere. She had been little when he had done it and hadn't fully understood why it hurt him and in order to please her he made a compromise and put a tiny wolf near one end and once Kororo had joined him he carved a picture of her on the other._

 _In the same places on hers he had carved her name as it translated to a word and not an object and opposite of that was a small kappa. Blinking back tears she looked up at her brother who was giving her his normal goofy smile. "It'll be a little big for a while, but it will last you a long time."_

 _"Thank you onii-chan. It's pretty."_

 _"Well you can't just have it to look at. We are going to the top of this hill and you're coming down on your own." He heard her gulp and laughed. Not giving her a chance to run he grabbed her hand and started pulling her up the hill._

 _Before she knew what was happening she was standing at the top of the hill shaking with her boots strapped onto her new board. "Onii-chan I don't think this is a good idea."_

 _"Come on sis, you'll be great." Looking down at the endless layout of snow before her she bit her lip. Horohoro jumped on his own board quickly and before she could stop him he gave her a push._

 _Her loud scream filled the cold air as she slid down faster than she could control. Although she had ridden with her brother before all she had to do was hang on while he worried about balance and steering. Now her arms were out and she was trying desperately to keep herself from falling._

 _She had only gone twenty feet or so when she tumbled over and started rolling down the hill. Luckily Horohoro had been expecting this so he quickly boarded over and stopped her from falling further. Sitting up slowly Pirika tried to look around but when the world kept spinning she squinted her eyes shut._

 _Once he decided he had been patient enough he pulled her up to her feet. "I'm going down now Piri and if you want to stay with me you should come as well. It's nearly time for lunch so I'm gonna head back to the house, you know how I hate to miss a meal." Looking up desperately she started crying as he turned and headed smoothly down the mountain._

 _Pirika was still standing there crying when he drifted casually out of view. Once she had gotten herself under control her fear turned to fury and she was determined to find a way down and make him pay. The snow drift she was on right now was at least three feet deep so getting off the board and walking wouldn't work._

 _As much as she hated it, she would have to board down. Rolling end over end had made her more than a little sick so she had no desire to fall again. Steeling herself she put her arms out to practice balance for a minute before she turned her board and started down. At first it was terrifying, but by the time she came to the bottom there were only a few butterflies in her stomach instead of a dozen birds._

 _Leaning forward she started tugging at the straps that secured her boots to the board but she while struggling she unbalanced herself and landed face first in the snow. Fighting the urge to cry again she rolled over and wiped some of the cold powder from her face._

 _Just as she reached to her feet she heard an overjoyed shout from above her._

 _"Yee-haw!" Looking up she saw her brother come flying off a peak, grab the bottom of his board, and start doing tricks until he hit the ground about halfway down and finished the hill laughing the whole way down. "You didn't actually think I would leave you did you Piri?" he asked as he kneeled down beside her and freed her feet._

 _Pirika was so cold, wet, and happy to see him she wasn't angry anymore. Once he moved her board to the side he pulled her to her feet and smiled._

 _He looked slightly nervous as he started brushing the snow from her face and hair. "Please don't be mad sis, I just wanted you to see you could do it."_

 _Pirika stuck her lip out in a pout. "That was mean onii-chan," she whined._

 _Knowing she wasn't really upset he gave her his goofy smile, grabbed both of the boards under one arm and linked the other around hers._

 _"Onii-chan I wanna try again," she told him making his smile grow._

 _"After lunch we can come back but right now I'm hungry." Smiling back up at him she skipped back to their camp at his side._

#

In the next picture she was standing in a river with no socks or boots on and trying to hold a struggling fish. Her brother was standing beside her tying a rope around its tail so when she did drop it, it wouldn't get away.

#

 _Pirika was standing on the shore looking skeptically at the sharpened stick her brother passed her. She watched quietly as he pulled off his own boots and set them beside hers. "Are you sure we're out of food?" she asked nervously as he walked into the river beside her._

 _"You know as well as I do that we ran out two days ago. If you want to eat tonight you are gonna have to catch something."_

 _Now she stuck out her lower lip in a pout. "Why can't you just do it?" she whined, still hoping to get her way. "Or we could let Mem catch one."_

 _"Piri I want you to be able to take care of yourself. I won't always be here to help you and I need to know you'll be alright without me."_

 _The idea of losing him upset her and so she poked the spear he had given her into his stomach. "Why are you leaving me?" she asked angrily making him give his stupid grin again._

 _"I'm not planning on leaving silly, but the shaman tournament is in a few years and there is always a chance that we could get separated at some point. Now the sooner you stop complaining the sooner we can eat."_

 _Pirika jabbed him with the spear. "Don't threaten to make me go hungry when I have a pointy stick!" She looked so angry with her face all scrunched up and her eyes narrowed he couldn't help but laugh._

 _"Alright fine, if the sun sets and you still haven't caught anything I'll let Mem do it, but you'll just have to try again tomorrow." Deciding this was the best deal she was going to get she turned towards the water and readied her spear._

 _An hour had passed and she was bored. Her eyes had wandered from the stream a long time ago and she was bouncing around to busy herself. "Pirika you have scared away three fish in the last five minutes! You need to stand still or even Mem won't be able to catch anything," he snapped in frustration._

 _His sister had never been good at staying still for any real length of time, but as hard as it was, it was a skill she needed to learn. She had been struggling with numerous things, including school, because of it and this would be as good a time as any, the sooner the better really._

 _Biting her lip she forced her feet to stop moving. Keeping still took all of her concentration but she was really hungry and knew her brother was only more so. If he was still willing to wait for her to succeed it obviously met a decent bit to him and she didn't want to let him down. As stubborn as she was for him, she absolutely adored him, and wanted to impress him in any way she could._

 _By the time thirty minutes had passed she felt like she was going to explode but her chance finally came. A large salmon came swimming slowly over, unaware of the two children's presence. Once she thought it was close enough she threw the spear, but her aim wasn't great and it hit near the fishes top fin. The wood hook was yanked out when it started to struggle and the water around it filled with a pale murky red. It wasn't swimming well but was still too fast for them to catch._

 _Pirika was horrified by what had happened. They needed the food to eat and she knew what that involved, but she had never killed anything before. She had thought it would be quick but because she missed it would be slow and painful until it finally died somewhere downstream._

 _"Mem go!" Horohoro ordered quickly, wanting to end its pain as soon as possible, but also knowing he couldn't catch it alone._

 _Looking from the fast moving Kappa to his sister he saw she was crying and had dropped the spear in the river. The first thing he did was grab the spear and throw it to shore so they wouldn't accidentally step on it._

 _Taking her hand he pulled her out of the water and had her sit on a rock nearby. Rubbing her back gently he gave her a sad smile. "Relax Piri. Mem will catch it and bring it back. It won't take long."_

 _"I-I didn't mean to hurt him," she sobbed._

 _Horohoro had a feeling this might happen, but it would have gone over far better if it hadn't gotten away or if she had missed entirely. Still, survival would require her to learn how to kill animals. He had considered teaching her how to hunt and fish earlier, but she was so caring and good hearted he knew she would struggle with it, so he waited._

 _One thing he feared more than her wavering emotions was that something would happen to him or they would get separated. They could never go home and between the way they stayed out of the town and were feared for being shamans they didn't have even a single friend. Horohoro was all she had and no one else would ever take care of her. That meant she had to be able to care for herself. It might hurt her for a bit now, but he had to be sure that she would be safe despite whatever the future had in store for them._

 _Knowing words would be little comfort he just continued to rub her back until a green head popped out of the water. "Mem's back," he told her as he walked over to the reptile. The large fish was still struggling despite the fact that it was well restrained by Mems powerful jaws. Wanting to end this he grabbed the spear, pulled the fish down to the ground, and stabbed it quickly in the head. As soon as the wood broke through the layer of scales it went still, but regardless Pirika gave a fearful whimper._

 _"Pirika," he called, pulling her from her own miserable thoughts. "It's done but you need to say the prayers." The idea of thanking it for its service helped her cope slightly and so she walked over and knelt beside the animal. Horohoro was happy when she calmed and was able to hold herself together as she did what was required of her._

 _Once she was finished and got to her feet Horohoro pulled the knife from his boot and carried the fish to the shallow water again. "You need to help me clean it then we can smoke and salt it." Looking down sadly she let her lip tremble as she pulled her own knife out and followed him._

 _Cleaning the fish was gross, but easy enough and they had the fish smoking over the fire before long. They kept enough out for tonight, but no longer than that. Horohoro was still insisting she catch a fish by herself so after school he told her she would have to try again. As long as they dried and salted the fish it would last a while and they wouldn't have to worry about running out again soon._

 _True to his words he grabbed the spear once they got back to camp the next afternoon. Walking over to the shore Pirika sighed sadly. Looking around she saw a rock some distance upstream from where they were currently standing._

 _"Can I stand on the rock over there? That way I don't have to be so still," she asked pointing towards it. Horohoro couldn't help but smile. You would have more luck asking her to jump off a cliff then ask her to stay still for more than a few minutes. He pretended to be upset but after a bit he nodded and headed in that direction._

 _Being out of the water the fish came quicker than the day before since her movements weren't causing any ripples. Glancing over at her brother when a good looking salmon swam close she saw him nod. Taking a deep breath she tried to hold back her tears as she aimed carefully. After what happened the day before she was determined not to miss this time. Refusing to shut her eyes at the last moment as she had done yesterday, she threw it. The fish hadn't died, but the spear was well secured and wasn't going to get away._

 _"You did it Piri!" her brother called happily as he moved towards the floundering fish. The pain she felt from killing an animal was overshadowed by how proud her brother was of her. After looking at the fish he pulled her over and had her hold it as he removed the tool and grabbed for a rope. Pirika held the fish as tightly as she could while he secured it._

#

"Morning snow bunny," a voice called from across the room as she faded from the last memory. Turning around she saw Ren sitting in bed with a smirk. "Sleep well?"

Giving a small smile she nodded. Getting up and stretching he opened the door and started out. "Come on," he said as she moved forward to follow him. "You should eat some breakfast and your brother really wants to see you." Thinking back to the memories she had gotten from the pictures this morning she smiled more.

Walking into the kitchen, most of the others were already awake and eating, even her late rising brother. "Good morning," Yoh said happily as they walked in.

"Morning," she said shyly, still unsure about her feelings towards all of them. None of them seemed to mind her reluctance, or at least they didn't say anything as Pirika got some food and sat down.

Looking around, things felt right as they hadn't in a long time. Everyone was talking casually and laughing as they ate. Her piggish brother was working on his second plate of food and it made her giggle. As she ate, she decided this was how it should be.

Ren had motioned to Horohoro partway through the meal and told him a few of the things he had noticed that might help the sibling's smooth things out. When she was finished she cleared her plate and walked out into the hall to see her brother waiting. Smiling up at him he gave her a quick hug. "Let's go talk Piri." Reaching down she laced her hand around his before he started upstairs.

#

Author's Note: Would love a review. I want to know love for Shaman King isn't dead.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: This is the shortest chapter I believe. Don't panic, they get longer again after this. Also, remember, _if a # is in italics_ you are still in that same memory. If a # is regular you are either entering a new memory or are back to the present.

Lastly, I will not post on Monday. We are going to be out of town celebrating the holiday weekend. Posting will resume on Thurs.

#

 **Chapter 5**

#

Walking into the room everything looked familiar, like the prayer stick she had carved him sitting on the desk by his wallet. His broken board was stashed in the corner and a partially finished one was leaning on the wall beside it. Even the dirty clothes and other things all scattered as a mess on the floor was right.

As much as she wanted to see her brother for a bit, this was awkward. She didn't know what to say or think. The only real memories she had right now of him were from the pictures in her room, besides that she just had a happy, safe feeling.

After watching her carefully he gave a sigh. This was going to be harder than he expected. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "For breaking your board."

Now he laughed. "Oh Piri, it's just a piece of wood. I've broken them before and I'm sure I'll break a dozen more. It'll take me less than a week to carve a simple one out. As long as you're safe, I'd be willing to make a hundred." His carefree words made her smile. Giving his hand a final squeeze she sat down on the bed.

Deciding she might as well get the hard part over with first she pointed to the scar on her wrist. "Did you do this to me?" she asked fearfully.

The dark look in his eyes made her shrink back in fear. "You really don't know anything do you?" he asked, managing to keep his voice light.

She felt ashamed of herself for forgetting everything. Horohoro made her feel safe, he had taken care of her, and now she was accusing him of hurting her all because of something Hao had said to her. Why couldn't she just have let it go? Hao had admitted that he had used her, but still, the lies he told wouldn't leave. This one was the worst; maybe because it had actually left a scar she knew there had to be a story behind it.

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember. I tried to ask Ren-kun about it but he said you had to tell me, that it was before we met anyone here." Tears filled her eyes. "I just want to know what happened," she pleaded.

"Pirika this isn't a good story. It's one of the worst memories I have, beaten only by the past few months and what happened with Damuko. You don't want to remember this one." While he was speaking he reached over and started running his thumb over the pale scar on the side of her wrist.

Not knowing was a nice thought, but if she only remembered the good things in her life, could she even be the same? "Onii-chan-," she started gently, "if I learned anything from all of this, it's that what you've been through makes you who you are. I can't run from the bad things and still be me." Finally she smiled. "Besides, good always comes next."

Horohoro smiled as he watched his happy, chirpy sister return. "Alright, you've made your point. But, umm, where do I start."

Thinking back to how things had gone with Ren back in the motel she knew she wanted to remember it on her own if possible. That way there could be no question about how real it was, but in every other case she had something to trigger it, a picture, or a dream, something. How could she remember something that she didn't have any piece of?

"I want you to try and help me remember it. Tell me something that might bring it back, when it happened, or maybe why, anything that could help."

Taking a deep breath, Horohoro thought back to the one of only two nights he had spent his entire life trying to forget. "It was about six months after Damuko died that I learned you had been lying to me for years. Seeing you in that much pain, knowing that I had failed you just like I failed her, I-I've never been that angry. Once you said that was the only night you ever feared me."

Closing her eyes and emptying her mind there were things flitting around but she couldn't grasp any of them. "More," she pleaded desperately. The feelings of regret and terror already filled her, but she couldn't give up. She was obviously stronger than he was, because he couldn't bring himself to tell her how careless he had been, how blind.

Closing his eyes, he spoke the first words that came to mind. It was what he had yelled at her when she had been thrown into the bedroom they shared. "It was him wasn't it?

Every time you told me you were just clumsy and tripped. I trusted you and you've been lying to me for years." Although he had only whispered the words, they echoed through her head as if he had been yelling at her, just like all those years ago.

#

 _Pirika peeked into the kitchen. She hadn't eaten either lunch or dinner because she had sassed back this morning and their father was punishing her. Seeing that he wasn't there, she walked in quietly, being too hungry to resist anymore. Going up on her tiptoes she stretched her arm out onto the counter, hoping to find anything edible._

 _Before she had a chance to find anything, something came crashing down on her wrist making her scream out in pain. Looking over in terror she saw her father standing over her holding a now cracked beer bottle. It had been months since she had been in this much pain and tears were pouring down her face. "Daddy I'm s-sorry I was just s-so hungry," she cried._

 _Grabbing her bleeding wrist he pulled her sharply forward until she was only inches away. "That was the point you little brat. When you misbehave you need to be punished," he hissed. He never yelled at her, only whispered in her ear, but that just scared her more. After giving another scream of pain as he squeezed her wrist he slapped her._

 _"If you don't be quiet and your brother finds out how pathetic you are, you won't even have him to help you clean up the blood." Biting her lip hard she kept herself from crying out again. Pirika adored her brother more than anything else in the world and she never wanted him to see her cry this way._

 _After the first time her father had hit her, he told her that if Horohoro found out he would be ashamed of how weak she was. At first she hadn't believed him, but with how her brother had loved their father she started to wonder._

 _Once she worked up the courage she asked him what he would think if someone let others hurt them and he had told her that he thought everyone should be strong enough to stand up for themselves. He hadn't understood what she had been talking about, and with all the shaman training he had been doing he assumed she had been talking about that._

 _Since then she had come up with some stupid excuse for every bruise and every cut, even the few broken bones she had gotten. Her brother's opinion of her meant the world and she was more afraid of him finding out than of her father hurting her._

 _"Daddy please stop you're hurting me," she begged._

 _"You deserve the pain," he told her. "You killed your mother and you deserve more punishment than I could ever give you. Just be thankful that I let you live at all."_

 _Things were going just like they always did as he smashed the bottle against her shoulder, shattering it. Still biting her lip she whimpered as the glass crashed over her._

 _Seeing him lift the jagged bottle neck he still had she used her good arm to protect her face._

 _#_

 _Horohoro had gotten frustrated with his training and had snuck away early even though his dad would be disappointed. He had been planning on seeing if Pirika wanted to go out to the fields to visit the Koropokkur, but walking into the house any good thoughts were ripped from his mind at what he saw._

 _Unlike his sister, his father loved him. It was obvious that he was the favorite, but he saw their dad as a good person and thought that he would never hurt anyone. He was always encouraging Horohoro, or telling him how he would save the Koropokkur and their people. All of those wonderful images were shattered when he saw his bleeding sister crying and cowering as their father went to hit her._

 _When the hit Pirika had been expecting never came, she opened her eyes. Her stomach dropped at the sight of Horohoro punching their father repeatedly while screaming, "put her down!" When he released her it was purely out of surprise. Once he collected himself he punched his son hard in the stomach, sending him crashing backwards into the wall._

 _"Onii-chan!" she yelled fearfully as she tried to crawl towards him, only to fall when she tried to use her injured arm. Before her brother could run to her, his father grabbed his arm and all but dragged him to the room the siblings shared. He pushed him forcefully into the room and slammed the door before going back over to his daughter._

 _Putting a hand around her throat he pushed her against a wall. "I will make you pay for corrupting your brother," he told her coldly. Even if she wanted to respond she couldn't. Her tiny hands were pulling desperately at his fingers just so she could get in a tiny breath here and there._

 _She was about to give up when a loud knock echoed through the house. Glancing quickly out the window he saw the trainer Horohoro had been working with standing outside._

 _"I will deal with you in the morning," he hissed as he threw her into the room with her brother and locked the door behind himself._

 _Pirika couldn't even bring herself to get up off the floor so she was just sitting there sobbing when her brother walked over, shaking with fury._

 _"It was him wasn't it? Every time you told me you were just clumsy and tripped! I trusted you and you've been lying to me for years," he shouted._

 _She wished her father would have done away with her right then rather than having her brother this angry with her. "Onii-chan, I-I'm sorry," she managed between her sobs._

 _"Why wouldn't you tell me?!"_

 _Pirika couldn't even bare to look up at him, knowing the hate she would see. "Daddy t-told me that if y-you knew you w-wouldn't love me anymore. You're a-all I have and I d-don't wanna lose y-you. "_

 _At her tearful words he really looked at her for the first time. Here she was, cradling her arm, crying, and trembling in fear, fear of him. The sight hurt him more than seeing his father hit her had. He was blaming her for not telling him, but he should be blaming himself for not protecting her. From this moment on that would change, he vowed. No matter what it took, he would keep her safe._

 _Kneeling down beside her he wrapped his arms around her battered body. "I will always love you Piri," he promised; "No matter what happens." When she tried to hug him back she bumped her arm and a shot of pain made her cry out. Remembering how it had been bleeding Horohoro pulled back and lifted it gently._

 _She winced but managed to stay quiet as he touched the area around her cut. It was a large gash on the side of her arm from where the bottle had broken but that wasn't what was really hurting her. He had seen a number of broken bones between the two times she had broken her arm and the time he had landed wrong after a snowboarding trick and broke his leg and he could tell her arm was broken just above her wrist. Standing up he walked over to the dresser and pulled out a scarf she had made him._

 _After going back to his sister he started wrapping it, hoping to give it at least a little support until he could get her some real help. "But onii-chan why aren't you angry? You got hurt because of me," she asked as he finished._

 _"Nothing is your fault little sister," he told her soothingly. "Lie down and get some rest. I promise I will keep you safe." Reaching down he helped her to her feet and led her over to the bed. The moment her head hit the pillow she started drifting off._

 _"But onii-chan I'm hungry," she whispered._

 _"Just sleep now. We can eat later."_

 _It felt like only minutes had passed when she was being shaken awake. Giving a whine she tried to roll over but was pulled into a sitting position instead. "It's time to get up Piri," Horohoro told her softly as he started moving around the room again._

 _Using her good arm she rubbed her eyes and gave a large yawn. "But onii-chan it's still dark out."_

 _He smiled sadly at how she had already buried the events of the night before and had an innocent, cheerful, yet tired, smile on her face. "I know, but you need to get dressed." Although she was confused, her brother didn't seem to be in a mood to explain so she just shrugged and grabbed out some clean clothes. Whatever he was planning must be important because he was putting off sleep for it._

 _She struggled a bit, but with some help from Horohoro she managed to pull on a sweater and skirt. "Now what?" she asked as he pulled open the window._

 _"Now I need you to trust me," he told her as he kicked out the screen._

 _"O-okay," she stuttered nervously as he threw his board over his shoulder and two fully packed bags out the second floor window._

 _"Do you have Mem?" he asked, turning back. Not knowing what to say she just nodded. "Good, now stay quiet and follow me," he told her as he climbed up and went to jump._

 _"Wait I don't understand!" she whispered desperately, trying to pull him back into the room._

 _Looking her right in the eye he took her hand. "I'm getting you out of here."_

 _Suddenly she panicked. "B-but where am I going? I don't wanna go anywhere! I wanna stay with you." She relaxed a bit when he gave her his goofy grin._

 _"Two bags Piri. We're running away and I promise I will never let anyone hurt you again." After wiping a few tears from her eyes he jumped out and landed smoothly on the ground._

 _"Your turn," he called up._

 _"Onii-chan I'm scared," she cried, eyes barely able to look over the sill._

 _"Pirika I will catch you but you need to trust me. We're running out of time." Looking back she let her eyes search the room she had spent her childhood hiding and crying in._

 _Filled with new determination she turned back and tried to climb up. Having only one arm she couldn't manage it and was about to start crying again when Mem came up behind her and helped her up. Glancing one last time at the distance to the ground she closed her eyes and jumped._

 _The landing was softer than she expected. Opening her eyes she found herself in the safely of her brother's arms, just like he had promised. With a huge smile, she gave him a kiss on the cheek before he set her down. Looking up at the window again they saw her green reptilian friend leap out, landing easily beside them._

 _Grabbing both of the bags, Horohoro held one out towards his sister, but pulled it back quickly and threw them both over his shoulder. "Ready?" he asked. Pirika was absolutely glowing as she looked up at him. Despite everything that had happened this was the best day of her life. Her father would never be able to hurt her again and her brother still loved her. When she nodded he grabbed her hand and together they ran._

#

Horohoro felt hopeless as he watched her relive it all again. She was sitting in front of him, eyes open and darting around in a panic. The only thing he could do was hug her until it was over. Eventually she dissolved into tears and buried her head in his shoulder.

Once she had gotten ahold of herself she pulled back and looked up at him with a smile. "S-sorry," she muttered embarrassed as she wiped away her tears.

"I should be sorry. I promised I would never let anyone hurt you and I failed." Pirika tilted her head to the side as she looked at the brother who had spent his entire life caring for her. She couldn't help herself from laughing, even though he seemed confused.

"Do you know why I trained you so hard?" she asked.

"Because you were sadistic and wanted to kill me?" he guessed, obviously clueless.

"It was because you gave up everything to get me out. You left the people who could help show you how to do things to complete our goal. I blamed myself and refused to let you lose your dream because of me." Now Horohoro started laughing too.

Pirika placed a quick kiss on his cheek before she stood up and walked over to the window. Everything felt perfect as she let the wind blow through her hair. He watched her for a bit before he spoke, "Ren said you remembered things when you see pictures, right?" Turning towards him she nodded. She was a little confused. Her brother had never really had any pictures around, maybe because his room was always such a mess there wasn't any place to keep them.

"Yeah, I can remember when I took them, why?" Reaching over he grabbed his wallet off the desk and flipped it open. "I kept this with me from the day I left," he told her as he passed over a folded piece of paper. Opening it slowly she saw it was a picture, ruffled around the edges from being carried around for so many years.

It had been taken only a few months before she had met Yoh and the others for the first time. Horohoro was sitting cross legged and she was kneeling behind him with her arms wrapped around his shoulders. He was reaching up and was holding both of her hands. Although they were both smiling, Pirika's eyes were shining and you could tell she had been crying. Behind the pair was a large field with Koropokkur moving around everywhere.

#

 _"But I don't understand why I can't come with you!" she cried angrily as he packed some of the food away, leaving her with most of it._

 _"Pirika, I told you. Tokyo is a huge city, way bigger than anything we have ever seen before. Even the people will be different and I wanna make sure everything is safe. Just give me a month or two and once I've got it figured out you can come too."_

 _"Onii-chan I've never been alone for that long. What if I can't do it?"_

 _Horohoro laughed at her. She was picking at straws at this point. "I've had you doing everything by yourself for long enough. You know where the old abandoned house is if the tent were to burst into flames and Mem won't let you go hungry."_

 _Knowing she was losing the battle she put her lip out in a pout and stomped her foot. "What if I forget you?"_

 _His stupid grin caused her to struggle to keep a straight face. "If you forget me we have a number of other problems. Now I'm done packing and I'm not leaving until morning so are you going to spend our last few hours together pouting or do you want to play with the Koropokkur?"_

 _She had been avoiding accepting the fact that he was leaving her for weeks now. Realizing that she had less than half a day with him she broke down. Falling to her knees she wrapped her arms around herself and started to sob._

 _"Oh come on Piri, don't do that," he pleaded. He hated to see her cry this way, or at all really. Sitting beside her he wrapped an arm over her shoulders. "Pirika it's just for two, three months at the most. Then we'll be together again." Seeing he wasn't getting through to her he reached over to his bag and pulled out a poorly wrapped box. "I had been going to give this to you tomorrow before I left but if you promise to stop crying you can have it now."_

 _It took a few minutes but eventually she got herself under control, only sniffling occasionally and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Once she was done she looked up at her brother expectantly. "Greedy brat," he told her with a smile, making her laugh. Rolling his eyes he handed over the package._

 _At this point she was just bursting with curiosity. What could he possibly have gotten her? Ripping off the paper she opened the box to find a brand new camera. Her mouth fell open, unable to say a word as she ran her fingers over it. It was simple but high quality, the type she had only dreamed of._

 _"B-but how?" she finally sputtered._

 _"I've been saving little bits here and there for months," he admitted. Pirika didn't know whether to be more impressed that he had gotten her something she had wanted so much, or the fact that he had enough forethought to plan something so long term._

 _"This way you can take pictures while I'm gone and I'll be able to see what happens."_

 _There were tears in her eyes again as she looked up at him, but this time they were from excitement. "Thank you onii-chan!" she squealed, hugging him tightly._

 _He hugged her back for a bit, rolling his eyes in exasperation. Horohoro loved his sister more than anything, but her emotional outbursts drove him crazy. Sometimes he wished he had a brother instead. Boys were far more predictable. Although he would never trade her, it was a nice idea to toy with._

 _Finally he pushed her away. "Enough," he told her, showing more frustration than he actually felt. It was hard being upset in any way when he knew he was going to miss her too._

 _"I wanna take a picture first so you'll have something to remember me by!" she insisted happily. After rolling his eyes again he agreed and waited patiently while she set the timer._

#

Once the memory passed she looked up unsure. "I-I never expected you to keep it, even then."

Seeing her shock he smiled. "I've had it with me every day," he admitted. If she hadn't lost her memories this way he never would have told her that.

He didn't think it was a weakness as Ren would, but he didn't really like telling people how much of a sap he could be for her. Of course it wouldn't matter anyway. They all thought he was just a goof, and he didn't mind. Still it felt weird.

Looking between her brother and Kororo she bit her lip fearfully. "I'm worried about Mem," she whispered, trying to hold back a new wave of tears. Truthfully Horohoro was a little worried as well, but he had spent more weeks than he wanted to think about in utter panic and he needed a break.

Reaching out he took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I know Piri. We'll find him somehow, I promise."

Taking a deep breath to calm herself she nodded. "Kay," she whispered softly, going back over to the window.

The siblings sat there together until lunch, speaking occasionally. Neither of them really needed words at this point. They were both so happy to be together again that was all that mattered.

#

When the pair walked into the kitchen everyone else had already gathered and was dishing up. The only people not moving were Ren and Anna who were standing in a corner whispering to each other. Seeing them together like that made Pirika nervous. It was stupid to look very far into something so innocent, but Hao's whispers of Ren cheating still echoed through her ears.

The biggest problem was that she would never understand why Ren cared about her. Everyone was in awe when the Tao and Ainu had gotten together. They had nothing in common. Ren was rich, short tempered, from a well-known family, great in school, egotistical, and refused to show anything but a cold heart. Pirika on the other hand was basically an orphan raised by her brother, spending her entire life struggling to get by, happy, giggly, childish, and struggled in things that required any focus at didn't really make sense and no one had seen it coming, but they all knew it was real, not that any of them would humiliate Ren by pointing it out. He may be cold, and rarely show her any emotion, but they had known Ren for a very long time and saw all the little signs.

Pirika couldn't see it though. The only thing she could accept was she was the luckiest girl in the world to get the attention of a man like him. She was oblivious to the way he watched her as she walked past him, or the tiny smile he couldn't quite hide when she acted like she was six years old.

What made her really panic was the reaction Ren gave when he looked up and saw her watching them. Muttering something quickly, he walked away from the blond, not letting his eyes leave the blunette who kept staring. Not knowing why his sister had paused Horohoro grabbed her arm and pulled her further into the room.

Pirika, Anna, and Ren were all quiet as the group ate, only listening as the others chatted happily. Anna didn't seem to notice the way Pirika let her eyes dart back and forth between her and Ren, but he did. He could guess what she was thinking by the betrayed look she wore. There was nothing he could do about it right now and even if he could, she wouldn't believe him. All of her trust was lost after what Hao had done to her and it would take time to get it back.

Pirika had done little more than nibble at her food and both Ren and her brother had noticed. After she cleared her plate and walked out, Ren followed her up to her room. Tears filled her eyes as she looked out the window again, not knowing Ren had leaned up against the door frame.

"I had been planning on to take you out for a bit but if you keep crying this way you certainly won't seem the part. Bloodshot, swollen eyes won't have you looking very attractive."

He had startled her so thoroughly that her tears were gone instantly. "R-Ren-kun I'm sorry I didn't know you were there," she muttered.

His gaze was cold, but he tried to soften his next words. "Have I lied to you yet?" he asked.

Biting her lip she started to shake her head but stopped suddenly. "Only about going home," she whispered softly.

Although he understood her reluctance it was starting to drive him crazy. "Pirika I have told you nothing but the truth. You have my word."

A desperate urge to believe him filled her, but she was still slightly wary. He had told her that he had gone back to China but he never gave her any specifics. There was also an unshakeable feeling that there was something he wasn't telling her. It could be a little detail he was holding back or that the entire thing was made up, all she knew was something wasn't right. "Not the whole truth," she whispered, eyes meeting his for only a moment before she let them dart away nervously. An uncomfortable silence filled the room until he spoke.

His words were far softer than she had expected, and it gave more insights than he would usually willingly give. "No," he admitted, "not the whole truth."

"But why? Why don't you trust me? What are you keeping from me?" she asked desperately.

"Damn it Pirika it has nothing to do with trusting you. I can't talk about things easily and you know that." Taking a deep breath he managed to calm himself. "Leave it alone for now. It isn't important. Instead, change into something nice and we can go out for a bit, like we used to."

Thinking about the memory she had of the night he had proposed and how much fun she had going out to eat, to a movie, and to the park, she smiled. "Okay."

He was relieved when she relaxed, knowing it would buy him at least a little more time before he had to tell her what had happened when she was missing. Giving her one last long look he left her alone to get ready.

#

"Horohoro I need to speak with you," Anna told him before he walked away.

Turning back into the room he looked at her curiously. "I was gonna go talk to Ren for a bit."

"It won't take long," she told him simply. Shrugging he walked back over. "Last night you told your sister you thought Mem would come back on his own." Not liking where this was going he just looked away. "You don't really believe that though do you?"

Glancing around to be sure Pirika wasn't within listening distance, he sighed. "No."

"Why?" she asked, refusing to let it go.

"Sure, Mem was a chicken. He was too shy to show himself around anyone, but he was always there when she needed him. Even if it was a fight she could never win, he never abandoned her." As much as he hated to admit it, Horohoro knew something bad had happened. Since the time he had pulled her from the frozen lake, Mem had never really left her. After he had followed them back, he had sat beside the bed until she had been well enough to get up again. During the time they were with the others in Tokyo and America, he had stayed within range of her, hidden from sight. "Pirika needed Mem now more than ever. Nothing should have kept him away." Thinking about his sisters treasured Kappa had kept him up most of the night. Something had kept him away from her, and Horohoro was afraid they would never get him back. He hadn't wanted to say anything last night or earlier today because it would break her heart.

Without saying another word Anna walked out, leaving Horohoro completely lost. Knowing the Ikato wouldn't tell him anything until she was ready, he gave another shrug before he headed up to speak to Ren.

#

He found the other man waiting outside Pirika's room, looking more than a little upset. "Hey dude I wanna talk to you for a minute." Once Ren looked up Horohoro motioned him across the hall. Having an idea of what was coming, he followed. Once the door was closed he started. "What are you planning on doing from here?"

"I don't know!" Ren snapped angrily, making his friend smile.

"Well it isn't like you have all that many choices."

"I am well aware of my options thank you." Despite his abrasive reaction Horohoro knew this entire thing had really upset him.

Even when his father had tortured him in an attempt to make him submissive during the shaman fights, Ren had refused to just walk away from his family. Instead he chose to fight for the right to stay, knowing he would likely fail and die. Back then he couldn't have cared less if he died, but now they could hurt Pirika and that would be worse than any torture they could use on him. He would rather turn his back on his family than risk them harming her.

As hard as it had been, Horohoro had always trusted Ren with his sister, but there had always been that nagging worry about what his priorities were. When Ren had gotten back, half beaten, for first confronting his father and then begging for help, his choice was clear. He had given everything he had for her, clan, home, future. Now he had nowhere to go.

"I'm going to go North in a few days to look for a job. Once I save enough money I'm hoping to buy some farmland."

"Yes I know and if you don't take her with you right away she will follow you in a matter of weeks."

Horohoro was the one to smile now. Ren had been sure what this would be about, but he was only partially correct.

"Pirika loves you, it's obvious. You make her happy and most of all you keep her safe. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want you to think that you don't have anywhere to go. Come back with us Ren. You can either live with us or find a place nearby, I don't care."

His words shocked the smaller man, leaving him speechless. Sensing something Horohoro looked towards the door.

"She's been there since the start," Ren hissed, obviously angry about her snooping.

"So why didn't you say something? You haven't told her yet, have you?"

"No I didn't tell her, she isn't going to believe me so why bother."

"Have a little more faith in her dude. You know more than anyone how confused she is."

Not answering he walked silently to the door and opened it, expecting to see her standing there, but she must have run back to her room.

Taking a deep breath he glanced quickly back at his closest friend. "Thank you, for your offer. I'll think about it." Horohoro gave a small smile as Ren walked out. No matter how tough he acted, Horohoro knew Ren had as many emotions as anyone else. Sometimes it was nice to see the proof of it.

#

AN: Read and review. Show me Shaman King still have fans out there.


	6. Chapter 6

#

 **Chapter 6**

#

When he opened her door she showed no signs of having heard their conversations so he didn't confront her. She would bring it up before long, her patience nowhere near as evolved as his.

It had been more than four months since he had seen her dressed up this way. She wore a small sundress like she usually did in the summer but instead of being made of a silkier fabric, like the dress Hao had supplied her with, it was a simple cotton. That was much more her style. It was a black dress with a pale pink ribbon wrapped around her waist. Her blue eyes were accented by the brown eye shadow she wore. Add in the few small braids worked into her hair and ponytail to finish it off and she was back to the girl he remembered.

When she looked like this he couldn't take his eyes off her. The shiny pink color on her lips made her smile glow and her eyes were sparkling with excitement. "Time to go?" she asked hopefully. Nodding he walked out, knowing she would follow.

#

"Where are we going Ren-kun?" she asked.

He had yet to tell her what his plans were; instead he was just leading her around the city. "We're just going to make a few stops around town," he told her simply, smirking when she tried to glare at him.

"If you won't even tell me where you're taking me, will you tell me how much farther it is?" she asked with a pout.

Turning a corner, he led her out into the school yard of the high school they had all gone to. The pair of them walked until they came to the gym doors.

Once she was standing just outside them he walked over to a tree and leaned against it, hoping this would be enough.

Knowing what he was trying to do, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. The area was quiet because school wouldn't be out for a number of hours, but she could remember the sound.

#

 _She had spent the last half of her day crying and trying to come up with a way out of this. It had actually been so bad the teacher of her last class had made her sit in the hall because she couldn't control herself and was a distraction. What other people thought didn't matter at this point. They all saw her as a freak so this would be just another quirk to them._

 _Knowing there was nothing else she could do, she went to the gym entrance like she had been instructed. Walking out the doors into the snow she moved about ten feet away from the building before she looked around for him._

 _He was standing in a shadowed corner not far away looking smug. All she wanted was to punch him right in the face but she had slapped him as hard as she could only hours earlier and she was amazed he hadn't reacted then. Trying it again would really be pushing her luck. Ren always got even and then some._

 _There had been a few of his ex-girlfriends that had slapped him, or at least tried to. Before they ever made contact he would grab their wrist and push it away, knocking them off balance. He never hurt them. Despite his cold attitude he was too much of a gentleman for that, but he was not afraid to gently put them in their place._

 _As far as she knew, no one had ever hit him before, well, except when the guys were messing around. Over a dozen girls had tried to at one point or another, but each of them failed. If she hadn't been so upset she might wonder why he hadn't stopped her. He was strong enough and fast enough that she never would have seen it coming._

 _For whatever reason he hadn't, but really that wasn't important. All that mattered now was she still lost the fight. Standing there stubbornly she considered walking away. Her instructions were to meet him here and she had done that. She was here, he was here, and they both knew it. Nothing else had been promised._

 _Just as she turned she realized how stupid it was. No matter how much she hated this idea, Ren was right. Horohoro would never let her quit, no matter how many times they had to move to give her a fresh start. Each relocation would cost more than they could afford and she would never be allowed to get another job. If the Tao could actually help her, maybe this wouldn't be all bad. Wrapping her arms around herself for comfort she walked over to him._

 _"Smart choice," he told her with a cocky grin, earning only a glare in return. "Come with me," he instructed as he started walking away. It was difficult to keep up with him since she wasn't used to this speed, but she stayed close enough until they arrived at his apartment._

 _Before she followed him inside, she looked around, hoping no one would see her. People knowing she was failing out of school would be better than what they would assume happened when she went to the highly desired Tao's apartment after school._

 _She hated how much more attention the guys of their group got than the girls did. Her brother, Yoh, Ren and even Chocolove were all but stalked by the schools female population, while Pirika, Tamao, and Anna were avoided._

 _Ren led her into his apartment, not bothering to say a word. Once inside he put his own things down and headed for the living room. "Get your things out. I can't help you if I don't know what you're struggling with." Spending the afternoon sobbing had worn the blunette out to the point where she didn't care enough to fight, choosing instead to pull out all of her books._

 _Lying on the floor he lifted her notebooks and started flipping through them to see her notes and assignments. Every page he saw made him want to laugh more. It was no wonder she was struggling. Her thoughts were scattered and random. If there was any order at all he couldn't see it._

 _She hadn't been lying when she said she was struggling with everything. It didn't seem like there were any classes she was actually keeping up with. Giving a sigh he massaged his temples. This was not going to be easy._

 _"I know you can fix this, but you are going to need to meet with me every afternoon so we can get you caught up. None of this will be worth anything if you aren't able to learn anything while you're in class."_

 _"I work every Monday, Tuesday, and Saturday along with any day I can pick up a shift," she snapped._

 _"Well then you will meet me after school Wednesday through Friday and I will go to get you after you're finished on Monday and Tuesday." Gritting her teeth she nodded. She may not have any real friends but that didn't mean she wanted to spend all her free time with a cold hearted man like Ren. For now though, she didn't have a choice. "Good. Now pick any subject and we'll start there."_

#

Throughout the entire memory she had been furious, hurt, and scared, but when it faded there was a small smile on her face. Looking over at the man who had upset her so greatly that day she giggled. She had seen it as him being mean and hateful to her, but it was just the first hint that he cared. Maybe if she hadn't been so blind she would have seen it earlier.

"Do you want to stay here for a bit longer or should we move on?" Pirika looked around the area slowly, trying to remember if this building hid any more secrets.

Deciding there was nothing of much importance she moved over and placed her hand on his arm. "Show me more," she instructed, eager to remember as much as she could.

#

They were about halfway to the tea shop she used to work at when she stopped. "What did onii-chan mean when he said he didn't want you to believe you had nowhere to go?"

"Pirika I do not want to do this now," he told her coldly.

"Well I guess we should just wait then because these past few days have been filled with things I was happy to do right when I had to do them!" she snapped sarcastically. Every memory made her less intimidated by his harsh manner. She wouldn't be spooked off now.

Turning around he walked back to her, expression guarded. He looked angry, but Pirika could tell he was just really uncomfortable. "What do you want to hear from me?" he asked sadly. "What do you expect me to say?"

"I want you to tell me the truth, all of it," she pleaded. Taking his hand gently in hers she led him away from the sidewalk and towards a tree. Sitting down at the base of it she pulled him down next to her. "Ren I left with you that night despite the fact that I had no good memories with you, at least none I was sure of. In the end I chose to trust you and I risked everything. If you had been lying, I never could have gone back to Hao and I would have been alone with no idea who I even was. I listened to what you had to say despite how scared I was. Please Ren-kun, haven't I been in the dark long enough?"

"Have I ever told you that I don't like you," he told her angrily.

Giving a giggle she rested her head on his shoulder. "I love you too Ren-kun."

She didn't have to see it to know that small smile was on his lips. Glancing around to be sure no one could see them he put an arm around her and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

They sat there silently for a few minutes until he was ready to talk. Leaning up against him this way it could have taken all afternoon and she wouldn't have minded, as long as he finally told her. "I spent the first month searching the entire country. I-." Ren didn't even know how to explain what had happened after he had lost her. "I fell apart I guess. It took that long before I was thinking clearly enough to do more than wander around aimlessly." Knowing how difficult this was for him, she placed a reassuring hand on his leg. "Finally it occurred to me that whoever did it had to have had a reason. It took a while, but I thought of the only person I knew who wanted to get rid of you."

Although she had known how his father would feel about her, Ren had never told her himself, hoping to protect her. "You assumed your family had me dealt with," she suggested softly.

"After searching the compound I went to confront him. He said that he had been planning to do something, but someone else had gotten there first. I didn't know whether or not I believed him, but if it was true I thought he could help me find you. Long story short he was glad you were gone and had no interest in getting you back." Looking down at her, he knew he would make the same choice again, despite the results. "I walked away from it all after that. I can never go back because of what I did."

"I don't understand Ren-kun. How can you walk away from your family? Why would you?"

"If he thinks it will get my focus back where he thinks it should be, he will not hesitate to kill you. I told him I was done with it all. Even if I found you safe I was done with him and the rest of the worthless family. Now getting rid of you is too much of a risk if he can't guarantee I'll come back. Yoh, your brother, and all of the others know how he feels and if anything happened to you again that would be their first stop. No matter how powerful he thinks he is, he knows he can't win against all of them, not anymore."

She had known that Tao Yuan was capable of murdering anyone who stood in his way, and she was certainly doing that, but hearing Ren say he would kill her was terrifying. "Ren-kun, I-I'm scared," she whimpered.

Despite her fear Ren gave a small smile. Getting to his feet he pulled her up and looked her right in the eyes. "Pirika I will never let anyone hurt you again and we are never going to China. I plan on staying with you for as long as you'll have me." The idea of Ren leaving his family and country for her was hard to process, but something told her he meant every word.

Then he did something he had never done before. Right there, out in the open, without even looking around to see if they were alone he kissed her. When they pulled apart her fear was gone, replaced by a nervous, excited smile and a light blush.

"Come on, there's a few more places I wanna take you," he told her as he walked away, pretending the kiss had never happened.

Laughing happily she ran to catch up with him, deciding to try and grab his hand. He pulled away at the last second, but seemed only amused and not angry. "Don't push your luck snow bunny," he advised with a smirk. At this point nothing could have bothered her so after giving a giggle, she followed, giving him the distance he wanted.

#

The first memory came the moment they walked into the tea shop. It had only been a few weeks before the accident, just after Jun's visit.

#

 _Pirika had just gotten off work when Ren walked in. Her typical smile fell when she met his cold eyes. Walking over cautiously she greeted him. "Hi Ren-kun, is something wrong?"_

 _"We need to talk." Was all the response he would give before he led the way to his apartment._

 _#_

 _By the time they got inside she was basically in a panic. "You've been lying to me," he snapped._

 _"I don't know what you're talking about," she tried to explain, but he had little patience and snapped back._

 _"Your grades." Finally understanding she dropped her head._

 _A few weeks earlier one of the other girls at work had quit suddenly and Pirika had a chance to pick up a bunch of hours on a regular basis. Horohoro had been talking a lot about moving north this summer and she knew the money would help a ton. She only had one month left of school and she had stopped studying in order to make time._

 _As a result her grades had started to fall again. Although she was keeping up with most of her current assignments, they were having countless tests this close to graduation and she didn't have time to study. It wasn't a big deal to her. She would fail at least a class or two, but she might still graduate and that was all that mattered. At least to her. Ren would be a different matter entirely, but she hadn't expected him to find out._

 _Over the last two years they had spent less and less time on her homework as she started learning her own good habits and they had other things they wanted to do together. This semester he had only helped her occasionally when she asked for it. That was definitely going to change now._

 _"I didn't lie to you," she told him, knowing it wouldn't do any good. "I just didn't tell you everything."_

 _"Well you are going to tell me everything now."_

 _Letting a few tears slide down her cheek she went over and sat on the bed. "My hours at work doubled and I just couldn't keep up. The money is better for us than a few stupid last minute grades."_

 _"Why do you think I wasted all that time helping you?" he asked angrily._

 _Pirika gave a shrug, "I don't know, because you wanted to spend time with me? Because you weren't sure if you liked me and wanted to get to know me better?"_

 _Finally he gave a forced smile. "Stupid snow bunny, I've known how I felt about you for years."_

 _"Wait? If you've liked me for that long why didn't you say anything earlier?"_

 _Showing her his cocky smirk he gave a careless shrug. "Your brother would have killed me if I had done anything before you turned sixteen so I had my fun while I could."_

 _If she hadn't heard the teasing tone in his voice she would have been offended, but she wasn't. Despite the fact that he said he had cared about her for years, she guessed he had been nervous and wasn't sure if he would ever tell her how he felt. Not only would he hate to be denied, but if things ended badly, his friendship with Horohoro could have suffered permanent damage. He would have needed to be sure it would be worth the risk._

 _"Getting back on topic-," he started, pulling her sharply from her daydream and back to their fight. "If I had just wanted to ask you out I would have. I spent endless hour after hour working on your school work because I wanted to help you. It was important to me that you succeeded and after all of this I will not let you throw everything away."_

 _"But I need this job! A few stupid classes don't matter in the scheme of things. I can quit if I want too."_

 _"It does matter!" he shouted. "What you are going to quit is that damn job so you can start studying again."_

 _"But Ren-kun I can't!" she cried desperately._

 _His eyes took on a cold look she hadn't seen him use towards her in as long as she could remember and it made her flinch back. "I care about you Pirika," he told her, keeping his voice even and distant. "I will not sit back and watch you give up for a bit of cash. If money is what you're after I'll give you as much as you want, but if you give up on school now, after all the work you put into it, I'll walk away."_

 _Her reaction was just what he expected, she broke. "Y-you can't l-leave me!" she stammered._

 _Moving forward he wrapped his arms around her. "I don't want to. I want to stay with you forever, but I can't watch you fall, I won't."_

 _"Graduating won't help me so why should I bother?"_

 _"You can't know it won't be of use. If something happens once you go up north and you need extra money that simple piece of paper could help more than you know." Knowing this wasn't working all that well he sighed. "If you won't do it for yourself do it for me. I'm always going to take care of you. We're engaged, you don't need to worry about money anymore."_

 _"Would you actually leave me?" she asked in a whisper, ignoring his reassurances about not needing her job._

 _Taking a deep breath he paused. He had been furious when he learned about her troubles because he felt they had lost a level of trust. He had let his anger take over. Ren didn't even know if he could walk away from her. She gave him more strength than she would ever know. His words had been an overreaction and he knew it. "No snow bunny, I wouldn't, but that doesn't mean I won't walk away for a bit. You obviously don't understand how important this is."_

 _At this point she didn't care how important it was. All that mattered right now was that he wasn't going to leave her and she buried her head in his chest to cry in relief._

 _He may not have planned it out this way, but he had accidentally scared her into submission. Although it looked like he would get what he wanted, he felt bad. This wasn't how he wanted to do it. He wanted her to reset her priorities willingly. Once again, his temper had gotten the best of him and the price was her fear. Knowing it was too late to change anything he just gave her an extra squeeze and let her cry._

#

When Pirika made it back to the present she was sitting in a chair at a corner table. Ren must have led her over after the memory started. Judging by the look he wore, he had an idea of what she had just relived. Knowing what was going through his mind she gave him a tiny smile and he relaxed. "I forgave you before Ren-kun," she reassured him softly.

Pleased, he gave her a nod. The memory must have lasted far longer than she thought because someone placed a cup of tea in front of her and passed Ren a bottle of milk.

Mumbling her thanks she took a deep drink. Although she worked hard to spur on the memories they weren't easy. When they were finished her heart would be racing and she got the same cold sweat she woke up with when she had her dreams with Hao.

After having gone through over half a dozen memories today they were starting to take their toll and she was getting tired. Looking up, she saw Ren watching her carefully, aware of her exhaustion. "I'm fine," she assured him. He clearly didn't buy it, but let it go all the same.

The pair of them simply sat there together quietly, Pirika happy with how perfect it felt. Since she had woken up she felt like every silence needed to be filled with something, but here, with Ren, nothing was fine. It was nice actually.

Finally she asked something that had been bothering her from the beginning. "Why me?" she whispered nervously. Normally a two word question wouldn't make all that much sense to Ren, but he was used to this one.

Giving a smirk he looked away. He had been asked that question a lot when they had first started dating. None of them had meant anything bad by it; she just wasn't the girl anyone expected him with. The last time had been less than three weeks ago.

#

 _His mind hadn't really come back at any one specific point over the last few days. It was more like, the longer he hung in these chains, the more his mind settled. He hadn't felt the pain from any of the beatings his father's torture puppets had administered. How could he, when fears of what she was going through filled him?_

 _Ren had no idea how much time had passed when he heard the dungeon door swing open again. Closing his eyes he readied himself. A few times they had released him to bring him over to a different toy they had, and if they did it again he was ready to fight. Every other time they had subdued him quickly, but that only made him more desperate, and desperation could lead to the extra strength you needed._

 _His plans were proved pointless when he heard a soft laugh from in front of him. "It looks like you could use my help again little brother."_

 _Looking up sharply he saw Jun and Lee Bai-long standing in front of him. "No I've been staying here because I want to," he snapped sarcastically._

 _Just giving him a smile she moved forward and unlocked the chains binding him. Bai-long helped steady him since he was forced to support his full weight for the first time in days. He staggered at first, but managed to get his feet under him before long. As soon as he was steady, he headed for the door, his sister trailing not far behind. Nothing could slow him until he was out of the house and on the edge of the compound. Turning back to his sister, he looked her carefully up and down._

 _"You can't stay here," he told her coldly._

 _"I don't plan on it," she said sadly. "I thought I would accompany you to the airport then go traveling for a few months. Once his temper has cooled I'll come back."_

 _"Well I won't be," he informed her._

 _It was clear she didn't understand. "But why? He'll calm down eventually, you know that." The steady, deadly gaze that met her own had her shrinking back some._

 _"I am going to find Pirika and I'm never going to let anyone take her away again. He admitted he wanted to kill her to 'save' the family's future. Now that I know his intentions, all I have to do is make it clear nothing will make me come back."_

 _Before she could answer, he turned and started heading towards the stables. His movements were slow because of the trauma his body had endured and he knew he couldn't get very far on foot. He would rely on Hakuoh to take him to the airport and would bring the beast with him. The horse meant a decent bit to him and as he had no intention to ever return, if he wanted to see him again, the horse had to come._  
 _Jogging to catch up, Jun continued to question him. "Even if you do find her alive, what will keep father from killing her for simple revenge?"_

 _"She is alive!" he cried angrily before taking a deep breath to control himself. "I know she's alive. I can feel it." His last words were whispered as they entered the stable. Once he made it to the right stall his voice had its normal confidence back. "He won't risk hurting her because he won't get anything out of it and he knows it will be the last thing he ever does. I have every intention of telling Horohoro and the others what he had planned. The bastard knows better than to think he could take them all out at once."_

 _As he spoke he readied his horse and after glancing over his shoulder he saw Bai-long was doing the same to the animal his sister favored. Looking over her brother thoughtfully, Jun saw it for the first time. He had a desperate but loving look in his eyes she had never seen before. It had to be because of the blunette girl. It was clear that he would stop at nothing to be with her again._

 _Seeing him motion behind her she turned and saw Bai-long reaching his hand down to pull her up in front of him. By the time she was safely on, Ren was fully prepared and they set off. He tried to ride hard for a bit, but after less than a minute it was clear his body couldn't handle the strain._

 _Knowing her brother as she did, Jun knew he wouldn't slow down for himself. Still, he would be of little use to anyone if he collapsed before they got more than a few miles. Letting his pride off the hook she motioned for Lee Bai-long to slow the horse. "Ren please, I can't go this fast. We need to slow down, at least for a while."_

 _The glare he gave her showed he didn't buy it, but his pain was so bad he wasn't going to fight either. For a moment he considered leaving her on her own, but if Yuan discovered what she had done and caught up with her there would be hell to pay. He couldn't risk her getting hurt for helping him. Pulling back he slowed Hakuoh to a quick walk. Confident that his horse could manage on his own he leaned against the beasts powerful neck to rest, savoring in the ability to close his eyes._

 _Finally curiosity got the better of her and Jun asked the question that had been on her mind from the moment he first said her name while confronting their father. "Why her?"_

 _When he opened his eyes, they were slightly glazed over as he let thoughts of her flood his mind. "Everyone asks me that," he admitted softly._

 _Seeing how truly happy he was, Jun couldn't help but smile. "And what do you tell them?"_

 _"The reason I love her is the same reason everyone wonders why I chose her," he explained simply._

 _She tried not to gawk when he said the four letter L word she never thought she would hear from him, but it was difficult. Ren was so lost in his thoughts he failed to notice his sisters reaction._

 _"Pirika is everything I'm not. She's always happy. She loves life regardless of what happens. She's kind, thoughtful, childish, innocent." A dark look crossed his eyes as he said the last word, but it quickly faded. "When I'm with her, nothing else matters." As if he suddenly realized what he was saying he shook himself sharply. "I hope your quite satisfied with that answer because that is as soft as I ever plan on getting," he told her sharply._

 _Looking away Jun let her smile grow. Anything or anyone that could make her brother this happy was worth it. If this girl was what made him so passionate, she was glad she was able to help him._

#

"Are you gonna answer me or not?" Pirika asked, pulling him from his memory. Focusing on the real world again he looked over at her. She liked the gentle look he gave her. "I want you because you're everything I'm not. You're better than me in every way and you make me a better person."

Pirika blushed at his words and looked away, just like he had expected. He smirked at how predictable she was. It was just one more thing he liked. She was cute like this. He stared at her for another few minutes before speaking again.

"Have you had enough of this place or do you wanna stay for a bit longer?"

Pirika looked around the shop at the hustle and bustle and she thought. "Give me a few more minutes here," she suggested. Ren nodded, willing to wait as long as necessary for the memories to come back.

Knowing there wasn't much he could do right now, he pulled out his phone to check a few things while she relaxed and tried to get something to trigger. It wasn't long before something did.

#

 _Pirika was in the middle of a huge rush when Ren walked in and her shift was supposed to be over. Seeing she was going to be a while he took a seat and pulled out his new touchscreen smart phone to do whatever it was he did for the family. She had gotten a glimpse of him, but didn't have more than a moment to think about it._

 _When all the people were helped, she was able to clock out. Ren was so absorbed in his work he didn't notice her sneak up behind him. Well at least he pretended not too. Biting back a giggle she came up behind him and covered his eyes with her hands. "Guess who?" she coaxed, the laugh finally slipping out._

 _"Must I actually play this foolish game?" he asked, sounding annoyed. Anyone else would have shied away given his tone, but she wasn't fazed. She could feel the way his lips turned up in a slight smile. The action made her let her guard down for a moment and that was more than enough._

 _Since the room was full Ren wasn't concerned with drawing attention to their corner table. Reaching up quickly he grabbed her wrists and spun her around in front of him. Pirika couldn't stop laughing once she managed to find her feet again. She loved it when he did things like that. He forcefully got his way but he was still careful not to hurt her._

 _Her eyes were locked on his and he could tell she desperately wanted to kiss him, but she held back. Her desire made his smirk grow. Standing up he pushed her towards the door. "We should get back. Your brother will be home in just over an hour so if you want to do anything and not let him know, now is the time."_

 _A blush crossed her cheeks and she smiled, giving him a nod. She loved when they could just sit in her room and make out, but she wasn't ready to let her brother know about them yet. Judging by his actions, Ren didn't seem to mind keeping him in the dark either. While she had been thinking Ren had gotten a bit ahead of her so she ran to catch up._

#

This memory left her smiling instead of just tired. Ren watched her carefully and though he knew it must have been a happy memory, he had no way of knowing what happy memory. In the end that really didn't matter. The only important thing was how she smiled.

"So where are we going next?" she chirped, getting to her feet.

Doing the same and then heading for the door he shrugged. "You'll know soon enough." With that he didn't plan to say another word until they got to the next place they were going.

Ren had at least two more places he was going to take her tonight and the time was the final decider as to what would go first. It was only three in the afternoon and she wasn't showing any of her usual hunger signs so he headed in the direction of the park.

It was usually rather obvious when she was hungry because she got sassier than usual and more than a little crabby. She was well aware of this weakness, and though she tried to stop it, she never could. He doubted even losing her memories would take it away.

It was about two blocks before she deduced where they were going and she was nearly giddy as a result. Only a few of her memories had taken place here, but each was wonderful and she was eager for more. All of her restraint was required not to pull Ren the remainder of the way.

Ren just rolled his eyes at her antics and slowed his pace to aggravate her slightly. It took Pirika a few minutes to realize what he was doing, but once she did she glared at him. "Not so slow Ren-kun!" she whined.

It turned out they didn't need to go all the way to the park to coax out another memory. The way his eye twitched at her tone was enough for her to fade gently to a previous time.

#

 _Ren was walking away from her, ignoring her pouting lips and stomping feet. "But Ren-kun I want ice-cream!" she whined in a high pitched voice. As much as he wanted to simply ignore her while she was acting this way, he despised that whiny tone she used._

 _They had only been together for a few months and she had acted like this a time or two, but it faded quickly. This time it didn't. Normally if she didn't get her way she just gave up, but right now she seemed determined._

 _"Stop ignoring me!"_

 _Finally he snapped. "Would you quit that," he ordered angrily as he spun around to face her. Her eyes grew large in surprise, obviously having not expected such a sharp reaction._

 _"Do not whine like that," he clarified, guessing she wasn't sure what he was upset over._

 _The Ainu girl's face scrunched up thoughtfully. "Why?"_

 _When he started speaking again it was with a glare. "Why do you think?" Since she was still standing there thinking about something, he decided to keep walking. Her classes ended next week and so not only did she require extra help to prepare for her tests, but Ren also had studying to do since he would graduate in a few days._

 _As a result of all the work they needed to do he met her immediately after school if she didn't work and they started as soon as they arrived at one of the apartments. As the semester had passed, they had been spending less of their time on her homework, choosing instead to spend all of their free time doing things like going to the park or out to eat, just things they could do together._

 _But that only ever happened after he had looked at both her schedule and homework. They never went out, or spent all that much time making out, unless_

 _Ren knew it would be easy enough to finish everything necessary in the time remaining._

 _Today was not one of those days. In the next week Pirika had a few papers due and a number of tests, so Ren had been all but forbidding fun time for them._

 _She still struggled a lot and needed more help than she was willing to admit just to stay afloat._

 _They hadn't just gone out together in nearly two weeks and it was driving her crazy. Finally she smiled and gave a small laugh. She decided that she wasn't really asking for that much and she didn't really want to give in this time, so she would play dirty to get her way._

 _"Okay," she chirped happily._

 _Hearing her confidence Ren was cautious. "Okay what?" he asked, watching her carefully from the corner of his eye._

 _"I'll stop whining," she told him. He had just started to smirk when she continued, her words catching him off guard. "-but only if you take me for ice cream first."_

 _His first reaction was anger at her unfair bribe, but seeing how cocky she was he buried that. Actually he was rather impressed with her. He hadn't expected her to be that comfortable with using threats, but it seemed to come naturally. Although he wanted to tell her no, just for the simple reason that he didn't want to be played by her, he didn't. Instead he changed the rules a little._

 _"If you stop whining and get enough work done, I will get you ice cream tonight." Pirika put a finger up to her chin, debating. After a few moments she smiled and nodded. Ren tried to hide his smirk as they started for his apartment again, but she could see he was happy._

 _Just as they walked off, he added one more thing. "If you ever whine like that again I'll make sure you live the remainder of your life without another bite of ice cream," he threatened. Just giving a smile, the blue eyed girl pretended she didn't hear his words, knowing he didn't really mean it. He just wanted to feel a little more control._

#

Of course that had been far from the last time she whined. It was something that she had always done because it had worked just as well on her brother as it had on her boyfriend. Habits kept up for that long were hard to break, especially if you didn't really want to.

Ren had never grown to accept it, still hating every time he heard her take that tone, but he had gotten better at ignoring it. In her defense, she had tried hard not to annoy him, which meant that she almost never used it against him just because she wanted something. The only time she did it was when she was crabby and frustrated.

Part of the reason Ren usually let it go was because of that. The only time he lost his temper about it was when it was intentional.

She had been back to the present for seconds when she was pulled away again.

#

 _"I said no." he told her firmly, his patience running out quickly._

 _"You haven't even listened to me yet!" she whined. Although she really wanted her way, she had known getting it would not be easy and she would have to push him._

 _She was angry that he wasn't listening, but if she just started yelling and lost her temper he would have won, so she bottled it up and whined as best she could. It was a card she had played only once since she discovered how useful it would be and since it had worked then and the first time, she expected it to work now as well._

 _"I've heard enough," he snapped._

 _"Tattooing is very important to my people," she explained._

 _Instead of giving in Ren was losing all control. The last line of whining pushed him so close to the edge. "You aren't with your people anymore," he yelled. "You didn't go back to them for a reason, whatever it was so now, you're here, in Tokyo, with me, and I have no intention of letting a sixteen year old brat do something stupid!"_

 _"You can't stop me," she goaded._

 _That was the last straw. "Maybe not but I'll be damned if I help you," he hissed. The fire in her eyes assured him that she had been pushing him intentionally and it just made him angrier. Moving close to her, his eyes were icy cold, actually scaring her for a moment. "I would suggest you do not mistake me occasionally letting you have your way as a weakness. If I give in it is a choice. You will never be able to control me and I'm saying there isn't a chance in hell I'm going to be a part of this in any way." Seeing the little trickle of fear she tried to bite back he paused, gaining more control over himself before continuing, his voice softer, but with the same bitter edge to it. "Do not try and play me like that again," he warned. "Now go home. Your homework can be dealt with later."_

 _Although she knew deep down, Ren would never do anything to hurt her, her instincts were still powerful, and they were telling her to get out, so she did. Even if she had stayed, they were both too worked up to do anything but fight more, and things were bad enough right now._

 _In Ren's defense, the reason she wanted to get tattoos was the same reason he was so upset. She said it was for her people, for traditions, but Ren had been marked for those reasons and he hated it. The scars all over his body and large black tattoo that covered his back were constant reminders of things he would rather forget._

 _Although things with his father had softened years ago, it had only been short term. Since then things had gone downhill and the hatred he had for his father, and in turn, his entire family, grew daily. They had tried to work things out, but Yuan would always be controlling and Ren would always live his own life._

 _In the end, it was all just a mess he wanted to pretend didn't exist. He would have given anything to get rid of the way he was marked by his family, and he didn't want her to feel that._

 _Although no one knew the exact reason the siblings had left home, it was clearly something extreme. If the topic was ever brought up Horohoro would get angry and aggressive while Pirika would become very still and pretend nothing had been said._

 _One day Ren would figure it out, but for now, the only thing that mattered was that things weren't good for them. When Ren's back had been done he had been fine with it. That was long before he had met Yoh and the others. As a result, he knew better than anyone how much it could hurt to be so clearly tied to something you hated. She didn't understand it, and hopefully never would, but he didn't want to risk the possibility, even if she hated him for it._

 _That and her whining plan had actually backfired. The moment he guessed her intentions it only made his stance more firm. Judging by how determined she was, he guessed she had gone to her brother first and had gotten the same reaction, if not worse._  
 _Now his only hope was that when he went to help her either tomorrow or Sunday, she would leave the subject be._

#

When her eyes focused again her emotions were a mess. She was happy that she was remembering things, sad that they weren't good things, and some of her anger had bled through, leaving her a conflicting jumble.

"Are you finished?" she heard Ren ask softly. Looking around for the first time, Pirika realized where they were. She had stopped only a few blocks away from the tea shop. Unlike all the other times when she had fallen back in time, the pair of them were in the middle of a busy street, with people all around pointing and whispering.

Suddenly she was overcome with a mix of shame and embarrassment. Trying not to let tears take over she attempted to run away, but was so exhausted she could barely keep her feet under her. Just before she fell to the ground Ren grabbed her by her waist and kept her from falling to her knees. Keeping his arm tightly around her, they walked a block and turned the corner, just to get away from prying eyes.

Once they were slightly more alone she pulled herself free and sat down on the sidewalk. "Just give me a minute to rest, then we can go to the park," she said, more than a little breathless.

"We aren't going to the park," Ren snapped.

Looking up she thought he was angry at first. "Please Ren I wann-"

"NO!" he all but yelled cutting her off. "You can't stand up on your own, you're shaking uncontrollably, you can't stop crying, and you haven't even begun to catch your breath! We are going back to the onsen right now." His words were harsh, but before she could get worked up she saw why.

He wasn't angry, he was worried. It just wasn't an emotion he felt comfortable showing, so he hid it. Fully accepting how exhausted she was, she nodded and allowed him to pull her to her feet. He was the only thing that kept her standing or moving forward. Actually she couldn't even remember the whole walk back. When they got back to the inn it was basically empty.

Everyone seemed to be using the newfound knowledge of her safety as a reason to finally rest for a bit. She certainly didn't blame them. They must all have been driven mad over the last few weeks, and it was her fault. The very least she could do now was let them relax.

Even if she hadn't wanted them to be here, it wouldn't have mattered. The last few memories had wiped her out. As soon as Ren helped her up to her bed she fell down onto it and cried. The result of having so many emotions overtaking her was absolute chaos and she couldn't control it any longer.

Knowing there was little he could do, Ren just stood near her silently. He had a feeling she would cry herself to sleep, similar to when they were at the motel and she became overwhelmed. Her tears seemed to go on for hours, but really it was only about thirty minutes before she stilled and new tears no longer fell.

There were a few things Ren wanted to do while she was asleep but he wanted to make sure she was well under first, otherwise the noise of him leaving could wake her. So far it didn't seem like she slept very deeply and she really needed the rest.

She had been quiet for nearly half an hour when he slipped silently out of the room. Although they hadn't seen a sign of Hao all day, he wasn't going to take any chances. The moment the door was shut he summoned the Spirit of Thunder. "Stay with her," he commanded. "Do not leave her side under any circumstances." Not really waiting for a response, he turned and headed out to the yard.

#

Although he planned on calling Jun quickly, his real reason to get away was to think. His only purpose for the last however many weeks had been finding her. Coming up with a plan past that was pointless at the time. Now though, life was going to move on in a matter of days and he didn't have a clue what to do.

Actually he had never really planned for the future. Part of him had always known he wouldn't be able to bring Pirika back to China on a permanent basis, but he hadn't wanted to accept that, so he hadn't come up with an alternative.

Now the facts were clearly laid out. She wasn't safe anywhere near his family. Now that he knew what it was like to lose her, he could never let it happen again. The problem was where did that leave him? Deciding to deal with the chore first he pulled out his phone and called Jun's number. After he got this over, he could decide his future.

Ren didn't know whether to be pleased when his sisters voice mail came on because he hadn't really known what to tell her, or upset because it would be less time before he had to start making tough decisions.

He kept his message to her short, just saying that he had gotten Pirika back safe and wouldn't be coming back home. The idea of adding his thoughts on severing ties with all of them crossed his mind, but he knew it wouldn't go over well. She would most likely fly here immediately and refuse to leave. That would just be one more thing he didn't want to deal with.

Once he was finished, he hung up his phone and looked around the empty yard, wondering what he could do to spur his thoughts. Finally he decided that he should train. He hadn't worked out at all since she had gone missing, and that had been more than long enough. That and training had become second nature to him years ago, so it allowed his mind plenty of time to wander.

After getting into an easy enough rhythm he started to debate with himself.

However he decided to solve this, leaving her was not an option. He never would have thought it was possible, given his past, but he loved her more than anything. She was the only bright spot in his life and he couldn't throw that away no matter what the cost.

There were only two options remaining for him. Either he had to go up north with the siblings, or somehow convince her to go elsewhere with him. Of course each option had littler choices within it.

If he wanted to go somewhere else with her, where would they go? The possibility of going to a different part of China was there, but he couldn't see it being worth the risk. That and she would have to learn a new language, and even with his help, that would take months. She would never be comfortable in China. Ren knew and accepted that. There was more than enough cause for her fears.

Where else would he even want to take her? He didn't have ties anywhere else. Neither of them really enjoyed living here in Tokyo. They had only done it as a matter of convenience. It certainly wasn't a location he wanted to spend any more years than needed.

The best option right now would be going with them. That was definitely the best for her. She would feel safe and accepted back in Hokkaido with her brother.

If Ren chose to go north, there were still things to be decided. Horohoro had said he could live with them, but did he want to? When he had moved to Japan to go to school with the others he had been required to do some adjusting to his life style. There were no longer servants to do anything he wanted. After a few weeks of struggling he had gotten into a routine. He never ate at his place, choosing to go out to eat or go to the onsen or the Usui's apartment.

In the beginning he had hired someone to come in and clean, but they hadn't even been dating for six months when Pirika threw a fit and told him it was a waste of money. She had insisted on doing it all herself and since she seemed to truly enjoy it, he had given in.

Basically all of that added up to the fact that he didn't like chores of that sort, and would do anything to avoid them. From what he had learned of the way Pirika and her brother planned on living it would be unavoidable and he wasn't exactly sure how he felt about it. They liked to work with their hands and were happy with the idea of farm work.

The only kind of manual labor Ren enjoyed was training or fighting. He preferred being able to get his work done sitting down on a computer. If he didn't live with them it wouldn't be as awkward, because if he was living in their house he might be expected to do the work as well. Was he willing to do that to her happy? Probably, but he certainly wouldn't like it.

Horohoro had also suggested he could find his own place. Although the extra freedom would be enjoyable, he would be with her less. Or, more probably, he would be with her all day and having a separate place would just be a frustration.

It was unlikely she'd want to stay with him, though she might just to make him happy. She would really want to be out in the middle of countless fields containing both food and Koropokkur. That was what she wanted, what she had always wanted.

Hakuoh was also an issue. He was a large horse, certainly not an apartment pet. The best thing for him would be open space and fields, something he could get on a farm. He couldn't expect them to deal with the beast. Not only was he a decent bit of work, but he could also be temperamental and aggressive at times.

Finally he just lay back onto the grass and looked up at the clouds. He had an idea of what he intended but didn't plan on bringing it up yet. Really there was only one thing he could do to keep her as happy and safe as possible. She deserved that and more, so that is what she would have.

#

AN: I said I would post it so here it is, but I will be honest, I'm debating taking it all down. It seems that maybe the love for Shaman King has faded. Either that or maybe my writing is crap (also possible.) I've gotten no reviews except for someone warning about the end of time and it is pretty discouraging. If I do decide to pull it I will add a chapter with the explanation. We shall see.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note: I know I didn't post for a few weeks and I am sorry. I have been pretty busy and didn't feel like it mattered to anyone anyway so I just pushed it aside. I've decided to put the whole thing up just to get it done with and be able to tell myself I did it. Hope you enjoy. Read and think about giving me a review to show you still love Shaman King.

#

 **Chapter 7**

#

 _Pirika was playing on the swings at twilight and both Ren and Horohoro were with her. She could see them talking to each other not that far away. At first she smiled at them, and they smiled back, but soon she realized something wasn't right. Although they seemed to be speaking to each other, they never did more than look at her._

 _Deciding it was nothing she closed her eyes and let the gentle breeze blow through her hair. When her eyes opened again, she realized something was very wrong. In the few moments she hadn't been looking they had both turned around and were heading back to the onsen without a word to her._

 _Sticking her feet down into the sand desperately she forced the swing to a stop and ran after them. No matter how fast she went, it seemed they stayed the same distance ahead of her, despite the fact that they were walking calmly. It wasn't until they had gone into the onsen and shut the door that she felt like she was actually making progress._

 _That feeling changed the second she walked inside the building. When she stood outside there had been lights and noises coming from the house, but stepping through the door that was all gone. Now it looked abandoned. Not only was it dark, but there was a layer of dust over everything and the whole place smelled musty, as if it had been closed up for far too long._

 _She had watched them walk in, yet there wasn't a single footprint on the floor. Tears of confusion started sliding down her cheeks as she began running through the house checking every room for an occupant._

 _Once she had finished she fell to the floor of her bedroom sobbing. There wasn't a single person or ghost here. She was utterly alone and stayed that way until the sun had fully set. Just as the utter darkness set in she heard the whispers. Familiar voices breaking through the silence, whispering her name from all around._

 _Maybe it should have been comforting, having even the tiniest hint that she wasn't alone, but it was terrifying. Jumping to her feet she ran through the house again, searching for the source of the voices. She walked the entire place twice and still found nothing._

 _At this point her soft tears had turned into full panicked sobs. Here she was, in a place she knew like the back of her hand, hearing her friends calling her name, but she had never felt so alone. Waking alone and lost in an empty tent, watching as Hao walked away angry with her, the huge fights with Ren or her brother, nothing compared to this._

 _Things only got worse when the voices started to laugh. They just got louder and louder until she broke. Grabbing her hair at the roots she started pulling on it and screaming as loud as she could, hoping to drown it all out._

#

As her vision faded so did the screams, but she could still feel the tears flowing down her face. When her eyes focused again she was in the same room she had been, but it was still light outside and she was lying in the bed. Still, she couldn't shake the lonely terror that had consumed her only moments before.

Out of nowhere, a huge creature moved over and was only inches from her face. The fear and surprise that added to her already overwhelmed self made her scream. As ordered, the Spirit of Thunder had been watching her and when she woke he had looked over at her. As if understanding her distress, the large spirit shrunk quickly into a chibi size about three feet tall.

Between the smaller size and finally seeing what is was standing over her she calmed slightly. Before she could fully relax the door to her room flew open and Faust walked in.

His casual smile made her think he knew there wasn't any trouble, despite her screams. Still he came; just to be sure she was alright. That one little fact meant more to her than she could say.

"Is everything all right?" he asked her gently.

Forcing herself to smile she nodded. "I-I think I just had a nightmare," she said softly.

After glancing quickly around the room he smiled at her. "If you would like you are welcome to come sit near me while I continue my reading."

It only took her seconds to decide. Her fear of being alone was far stronger than the fading fear of anyone here hurting her. "Yes, thanks. J-just give me a minute." The doctor stood there patiently while she got to her feet and looked around the room for something she could bring with her.

Finally her eyes landed on a large square book leaning against the dresser. Seeing it brought back one of her earliest dreams with Hao. Closing her eyes for just a moment she saw herself opening Tamao's birthday present with her brother and Ren looking on.

She didn't have any memory of actually working on it, but the incident had occurred months ago and that had given her plenty of time. Walking over to it cautiously, she peeked inside, and to her delight, she saw it was filled. Grabbing it so Faust wouldn't have to wait any longer, she followed him back to his room.

He sat down at the desk and picked up the medical book he had abandoned to check on her. Not wanting to pressure her, he just left the door open and went back to his reading. She would stay or go when she was comfortable. Pushing wouldn't help.

Pirika acted slowly, moving into the room she went to a shadowed corner and sat down, keeping her knees up close to her chest. Minutes went by before she felt safe enough to move her legs under her and open the scrapbook onto her lap.

A smile slid onto her face as she skimmed through it. All of her friends had about two pages and there were other pages for the whole group. This was just what she needed; memories for each person. Something so she could know them all again.

Flipping to the pages she had reserved for the crazy doctor she looked over the pictures carefully, starting with the first one that caught her eye.

#

 _She had been pacing in front of the building for the last twenty minutes. Only her idiotic brother could get through all of his previous fights nearly unscathed and then nearly kill himself by being a showoff on his board._

 _He had always set rules for her so she would be safe while they were out, but he rarely obeyed them himself. He had broken two this time. The very first rule he had was know the area. He had seen a new peak yesterday while wandering and had wanted to try it, heading out first thing in the morning._

 _Second was always tell someone that you were leaving and where you were going. When Ren and Chocolove had woken up he had already been gone. Most likely he thought his sister would have forbidden it, and he would have been right. He never should have gone out boarding just because he was bored of the dry desert._

 _She thought back to earlier that morning when she had asked everyone where he was, but got no enlightening response. At that point she had been angry, knowing he had just gone off to avoid her training._

 _None of that had mattered when Kororo showed up in a panic. Everyone had known something was wrong by the fear in her eyes, but only Pirika felt her heart drop. Only she understood how bad it must be. Before anyone else could even think about moving she took off after the small spirit._

 _Despite the fact that the others were faster than her, she got there first. Panic and desperation had taken over rational thought and her only wish was to be there as fast as possible._

 _He had been awake when she had found him, but he had landed hard on his head and had all but split it open. She knew head wounds bled more than most other wounds, but she was still faint from the pool of red around him._

 _After speaking to him quickly Faust had determined the only damage at all was to his head. The only reason he hadn't gotten up on his own was that he was too dizzy. Once he was sure moving him wouldn't hurt him, they threw him on Mic and headed back._

 _Pirika had followed the others back slowly, as if stalled by the terror. Now she was standing out here pacing, waiting to hear anything at all._

 _When Faust walked out she started to cry, but he gave her a reassuring smile. "He'll be fine in a few days. Besides the broken skull he has a concussion, but like his head it'll heal." Moving forward she tried to push past him to go see her brother but Faust held her back._

 _"Now isn't the time. I haven't finished closing up his cut and he is still far too confused to have a clear conversation. It would be best if you waited until later when he is coherent." She clearly didn't understand as tears fell again. "I'll take care of him. I promise you that, but for now you need to trust me."_

 _Really looking up into the Germans eyes she saw a kindness you would never expect just looking at him. It was more of a comfort to her than she would admit. Any one besides those in their group would think she was insane trusting him to care for her brother, but she did. Steeling herself for what she knew she needed to do, she nodded and slowly fell to her knees as he walked back inside._

#

Although the memory tried to pull her farther she ripped herself away. She caught glimpses of what happened next and that involved someone else. For some reason she wanted to be with people when the memories of them came back. As for why she didn't have a clue, but if she had listened to her gut earlier things might have gone differently.

Another instinct was to only let herself walk through a memory or two for each person. Their impact was both physical and mental, and it had fully taken its toll. Even after her nap she still felt like she had out on the sidewalk before Ren dragged her back.

Knowing she wasn't strong enough to go through the entire book even given weeks, she decided that one picture told her as much as she needed about Faust. She still looked over the rest of the pictures, but refused to let any draw her in.

Eventually she heard a door slam shut downstairs. Looking up she saw Faust still had his nose in his book, but she felt sure he was watching her. A few minutes later Ren walked past the room and stopped as he saw her. Clearly he had been looking for her, but his calm demeanor showed her he wasn't concerned.

She suspected that the chibi version of his spirit still beside her was there at his insistence, so he could leave and still know she was safe. Leaning in he sighed at the sight of her wide open eyes. "You were sound asleep when I left and I've been outside less than an hour."

Not ready to go into details about her nightmare she just gave an apologetic smile. "Something must have woken me. After I was awake I didn't wanna be alone so Faust let me stay here." Meeting the doctors eye Ren gave him a nod before he motioned Pirika up and towards him. Getting to her feet she thought again about the silence in the house around them. "Where is everyone anyway?" she asked, shutting her scrapbook and bringing it up with her. Having been out with her all afternoon, Ren didn't have a clue, so he just looked to Faust.

"Well," he started, thinking carefully, "Yoh and Anna went to go pick up little Hana. Ryu talked about being able to ride around without having to worry about anything. Manta went with him. Both Lyserg and Chocolove wanted to spend at least some time in the city for fun, and lastly I believe Tamao insisted Horohoro get out of the house for a bit. She mentioned something about a picnic."

Pirika smiled at the last bit. "The fresh air will be good for him," she whispered fondly. Ren had to admit she was right. For the last two weeks he had barely walked farther than the front door and he really needed to get out for a bit. "Don't you want to get out for a bit Faust?" she asked curiously.

The blond German smiled. "Everything I want is right here," he told her, motioning to Eliza at his side and the books on his desk. "After all the excitement we've had around here I have been waiting for the chance to read and an empty inn is the perfect place."

Feeling bad for interrupting him Pirika gave him a bow and followed Ren to her room. Once he had shut the door behind them she sat on the bed and looked up. He was studying her carefully and she was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

It was doubtful he believed she just 'woke up'. The real question was whether he would call her on it. She really hoped he wouldn't. Maybe she would tell him at some point, but her dream of being abandoned hit her hard.

Right now she was still trying to accept that they cared about her and weren't going to leave her. Adding that was just too much. Not to mention Ren and her brother might think that this meant she still didn't trust them.

To be honest, she thought the fear and doubt buried deep in her mind would stay for at the very least a couple of weeks, but she didn't want them to know. They would both be hurt. She had caused enough pain already.

Happily, after staring at her for some time he let it go and switched to a slightly different topic. Turning his attention to his normally somewhat frightening partner that was now reduced to an overly large teddy bear he frowned. "Would you mind telling me why you turned the Spirit of Thunder into a pocket monster?"

Smiling at the still mini spirit she spoke. "I woke up with that thing standing over me!" she tried to explain. "After scaring me so bad I screamed and Faust came to check on me, he shrunk to a far more manageable size."

Ren had already guessed the reason was to make her less nervous, but that didn't mean he fully approved of the beings new look. Still, with the way she smiled and sat happily beside him, he let it go with no more than a soft disapproving grunt. "How are you feeling?" he asked. As soon as he had seen the book in her hands back in the doctors room he knew how she had been using it.

"I'm fine Ren-kun," she chirped.

What he didn't know was how many more memories she had pushed herself through, how much they had affected her, or to what extent the nap had helped. He didn't even have a clue how long she had slept, having been gone for forty five minutes she could have slept most of that or almost none.

She was unlikely to give him an answer if he asked and she was working hard to conceal her level of exhaustion. All he could do right now was guess. Making a concrete determination would need to be left for later, he could only estimate now. He would watch carefully.

Thinking back to what Faust had said about all the others the only ones likely to be back soon were Lyserg and Chocolove. Anna and Yoh had a decent length trip, Ryu loved night riding, and Tamao would keep Horohoro outside as long as she could. Likely she had used the food to lure him away and had brought enough to keep him busy for a bit. Given the absence of Tamao, Ryu, and Manta, and the condition Pirika was in, it was doubtful that there would be a real meal served tonight. The pair of them would need to go out for dinner. Ideally they would have take-out delivered, but that might not be an option.

The tourists may love the hot springs, but the locals wouldn't come near it. They remembered all too easily the state it had been in when Yoh and Anna had moved in. Not to mention the rumors that ghost seers stayed there would never stop flitting around.

Basically, that meant most people wouldn't come here no matter how much they were paid. Since he didn't want to leave her alone, they would have to go out to eat. For the moment she seemed strong enough for that.

Sighing he took her hand and pulled her back to her feet. "I'm sure you're hungry. Let's go out to eat." Even though his tone told her he wasn't fully approving, she was happy with the idea.

Walking over to the dresser she brushed her hair again before she smiled at Ren, her nose crinkling up as her eyes sparkled. It had been the first time they shone like that since the accident and it made him smile. That proved to him she was getting better, and that someday she would fully recover.

The sparkle had been there for only the faintest moment, but that was enough for him. Part of him had been worried that she would never really be back to the girl she was before, either because she couldn't trust anymore, or because that endless enthusiasm would be muted.

Placing a kiss on her head the pair of them headed out into town.

As they walked block after block he decided to quickly amended part of his previous thought. Maybe she would be slightly less trusting. However that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. She had probably been the child that would have gotten into a strangers car for a sucker.

In the end it was something that he had accepted about her. Still it was worrisome for him. The idea that one convincing person could make her do anything but walk into a busy street blindfolded made it hard for him when she was separated from both him and Horohoro.

Her trust for them outweighed her trust for anyone else and neither was as innocent or trusting as the naïve Ainu girl. The problem was that it took most of their focus to keep her out of trouble and at times they lapsed.

#

 _Ren had just gotten back into the country having been gone for over a week. Since Pirika wasn't expecting him until the next day he decided to go to the school and surprise her after she got out. The problem was that she hadn't come out when she was supposed to._

 _Even with his help, she still hated school and tried not to stay when not absolutely required. Her staying inside longer than needed wasn't right. After she was half an hour late he went to look for her._

 _There was a chance she had left a different way but he doubted it. As far as he knew, her routines when he was gone were consistent. First she went to her locker to grab anything she needed and then she headed out the same door he normally met her at before walking to her apartment._

 _She was so gullible that anything could have happened to her and that made him worry._

 _In order to work quickly he decided to talk to some of his old teachers. Most of them had liked him because he understood things so quickly, always had his work done, and was quiet in class. The only complaint they had was his tendency to get into fights for enjoyment._

 _Luckily they were more than willing to help despite that. Now the biggest problem was the information they had given him. Anger quickly filled him as he headed in the right direction._

 _He found her right where they said. What mostly upset him now was that she wasn't alone. Sitting beside her, with a hand on her thigh, was a junior Ren recognized from the year before. Well now he must be a senior. Really that didn't matter. What did was the fact that Ren remembered a couple of fights with him. When he fought Ren, he was the one who picked the fight, not the other way around. He never fought fair, yet he always lost despite that. Still, he had blamed the Tao for his humiliation. Ren had never trusted the man and doubted it was a coincidence he was sitting next to Ren's girlfriend._

 _Though they had tried to keep the relationship secret it was easy enough to take a guess about them with how often he walked her home after school or considering the few times he had taken her out to lunch during their break._

 _The black haired boy at Pirika's side noticed his presence before she had. When he looked up and met the other man's eyes, Ren was glad to see a spark of fear. It was soon replaced by a confidence that made him worry just a touch._

 _Ren watched in disgust as his other arm started rubbing her back._

 _At that point he fully lost his temper, and moving quickly forward he hit him hard in the face._

 _Although the man had been waiting for him, he hadn't actually thought he would attack when he was right next to his girl. Because of that he hadn't braced himself for the hit and it knocked him off the bench and onto the ground._

 _Pirika hadn't seen it coming and had screamed, not knowing what happened. Looking up sharply, she saw Ren and became just as angry as he was. Standing up she got right in his face. "What do you think you're doing Ren-kun?" she snapped. Since the other boy had gotten up Ren ignored her question and pushed her behind him. Her fighting was pointless then. He would not let her go._

 _Reaching a hand up, the guy who had been sitting next to her wiped some blood off of his chin before he stepped forward. "If you come anywhere near her again I'll make sure it's the last thing you ever do," Ren threatened coldly._

 _Raising a brow he nodded to the girl being held hostage behind the Chinese. "We'll see how long she wants that," he goaded. Ren started to step forward, rising to the bait. Feeling Pirika yanking on his arm he knew he had to be rational. She was angry enough with him as it was. Adding a few more hits might help him feel better, but it would only last until he turned around and looked at her._

 _Choosing the more difficult action he restrained his urges. "Just stay the fuck away from her," he snarled before turning his back and all but dragging her in the direction of her apartment._

 _When they got to a park a little over half way there she ripped her arm from his grasp. "What the hell were you doing?!" she shrieked at him, not trying to hide her tears._

 _"How about what the hell were you thinking?" he snapped back. "He's got a worse record with girls than I ever did. Even you should be smart enough to stay away." Reaching the end of her rope Pirika went to slap him, but just like he did with any other girl, he grabbed her wrist and pushed it away effortlessly. Though he may have done it to anyone else who tried, he had never stopped her before. The shock and betrayal showed easily on her face but Ren wasn't moved._

 _"You're free to hit me when you have a damn good reason. Me protecting you from that bastard does not qualify."_

 _Pirika didn't care what he thought. After he dragged her from the school just for talking to a guy she felt it was more than deserved. "You leave for a week with nothing more than a midnight call telling me you're gone and I'm the one who's in the wrong?" Ren stayed silent and let her continue on with her rant. Better that she get it all out of her system now. If they both stayed angry this could go on for days and that wouldn't help either of them. "Onii-chan has been working over nights all week so I only see him for an hour after I get home and before he leaves. I was so lonely that by Wednesday I was just sitting at lunch crying when he sat by me. I just wanted someone to talk to and he wanted to listen. He said he would be my friend."_

 _The last part was said in utter desperation and Ren understood why. He knew what it was like to be surrounded by people and yet completely alone. All of them did. "Where has Tamao been?" he asked._

 _Since most of them had graduated last year there was only one other shaman besides Pirika and that was the pink haired seer. Normally the two spend all their breaks together because no one else wanted to be around them._

 _"She's had the flu all week," she retorted._

 _Trying not to scream with frustration he tried something a little different. "Why do you think he came to you now? You've shared the cafeteria for two and a half years. What was special now?"_

 _Pirika could see his point but was still furious. "He told me he got into a fight with his girlfriend and didn't want to sit alone. He said he just wanted to hear someone else talk to get his mind off it."_

 _At that point he lost it. "You can't actually be that stupid! He is playing you for a chance to have a good time and get to me," he all but shouted, making her cringe back a touch._

 _"Not everything is about you Ren-kun. I just wanted a friend," she snapped, but her confidence was gone._

 _"Shamans can't have friends," he told her coldly. "Humans haven't trusted us for hundreds of years and one horny teenage boy certainly won't be the first to change that. They either want to use us or get rid of us. The only thing you could ever be to him is bragging rights after he screws you." His words were as icy as any attack her brother could have thrown her way and she was so taken back she was pulling away. Finally calming enough to see how much he had upset her he sighed sadly. He hadn't meant to get that blunt but she just wasn't getting the picture. Moving to put his hand on her back so he could lead her home she pulled sharply back, surprising him. Before he knew what had happened she had created a ball of freezing water in her hands and flung it at him knocking him to the snow covered ground. Ren tried not to be angry at her for her reaction and also tried to ignore the numbness he felt covering his entire chest. He was used to cold attacks from her baka brother, but ice was different. When you got ice away from your skin the burning stopped, but the water soaked into his clothes and the frigid winter wind was keeping the low temperature steady. Steeling himself against it he headed in the direction she had run, which luckily seemed to be towards the apartment._

 _She had been even more furious when he had a quick word with her brother because at that point they were both against her. Deep down, she knew what Ren said was true._

 _Although Ren had gotten past his kill all humans phase, he would never fully trust them. Actually most of them wouldn't. They had all been hurt too bad for far too long._  
 _As much as she wanted to believe he was just being an overly jealous boyfriend, she knew he was trying to keep her safe, just like her brother was when he talked to her that night._

 _That didn't mean she wasn't angry, but it did mean she would forgive them both, a fact that became clearer when other students around her started giggling and pointing at school on Monday. Being the butt of their joke hurt more than anything Ren or her brother could have said._

 _The problem was that her trust had been broken before and she still wanted to believe people were mostly good, despite the bad things they did. It drove Ren up the wall, but all he could do was guide her carefully to keep her out of trouble._

 _Her innocence and trust in others was just one thing he liked about her. At least, that's what he told himself._

#

When he had shaken the chill of the memory off he looked down to see Pirika looking at him oddly. "Aren't I allowed memories as well?"" he asked, slightly amused at her reaction.

For the first time she understood how he felt when she went through memory after memory without him knowing what was going on. She didn't like it. "What was it?" she asked. "Tell me."

He smiled at her enthusiasm. Maybe if he answered her now he could get her to tell him about one later. Giving a deep sigh he acted like her request was nearly unobtainable. Pirika knew better and just giggled.

If he hadn't heard her speech to her brother this morning about needing to remember everything to be the same he might have kept his mouth shut. However he had understood her words, far better than Horohoro had. If Ren had grown up differently there was a chance he wouldn't have become friends with Yoh or maybe even made the fights. Then he never would have met Pirika and she was the best thing that ever happened to him. "I was just remembering one of the times I got back from traveling and you had over reacted again."

Scowling she put her hands on her hips. "I do not over react!" she snapped. Ren watched in amusement as she struggled with the choice of asking exactly which memory or staying obviously angry with him. Curiosity won. She was still scowling and pouty as she started walking again. "Tell me," she instructed. Thinking for a moment Ren decided how he wanted to tell her. In the end he gave her one clue that should send her into the memory.

"It was the one and only time I came back to find another man with his hands all over you."

Within seconds her eyes had glazed over as her side of the memory passed through her. Ren could tell it wasn't pleasant just by the look on her face. She started fearful but then got angry. The last thing she seemed to feel was sadness. Ren was helpless as he watched everything play out for her again. Once she came back to him they could talk.

When she focused in again she was only upset for a moment before she buried it all deeply. Instead of wanting to talk, she just looked up at him and smiled happily. Ren knew she had just bottled it up. Her light was gone. Not really wanting to leave the subject there he decided to push a little. "And what lesson did we learn that day."

Giving him a smirk of her own she laughed. "I have a jealous boyfriend." Pausing for a moment he accepted that she wasn't going to talk so instead he just let it go with a smirk.

"I am not jealous," he informed her coolly. "I've never had to share previously in my life and I see no reason I should start now." Pirika giggled at his reaction.

Looking over at her he realized that, perhaps, it wasn't all that surprising that Hao had managed to trick her so easily. It seemed that protecting her was going to be far more difficult than he ever could have expected but now that he knew what it felt like to lose her, he would pay any price for it.

#

Dinner was mostly quiet with Ren being afraid to trigger any more memories. She wanted to badly to remember everything, and while he was happy to help her, he couldn't let her push herself even farther. The bags under her eyes were huge and after that last round her tremors hadn't stopped. She'd actually managed to drop her chopsticks a few times. When they were finished she was so exhausted she didn't even fight him about going back to the inn.

With a sigh he tucked her into bed and spent the next fourteen hours at her side. He knew that she would wake as soon as he left and couldn't bring himself to go. She needed as much rest as she could get.

#

"Now, do you remember what to do if you need me?" Ren asked her for what felt like the millionth time.

Pirika giggled and rolled her eyes. Instead of being annoying, his hovering made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. "Yes Ren-kun," she told him.

"I want to hear you say it," he insisted when she seemed to think that was enough.

"If I need you or I start to panic I call the Spirit of Lightning, who will be following me. I just need to stay put while he gets you."

Ren was never this controlling, but it was the first time he was going to be away from the onsen since he got her back and just thinking of leaving her made a pit enter his stomach. He wouldn't leave if it wasn't for the fact that he had to get a little air. Ren hadn't had a chance to really process things since her return and he was overwhelmed. They both needed a little time apart.

"Good," he said softly. Before leaving the room he placed a kiss on her head. She expected him to go so she shut her eyes and smiled, but she felt another kiss, this time to her lips.

Pirika only waited a few moments after he left before she grabbed her scrapbook and started searching the onsen for people.

The first person Pirika ran into was Yoh heading up the stairs. She reached out a hand to get him to pause and he seemed to understand because he got to the top of the stairs and stopped, giving Pirika a chance to search through her book.

The first picture that caught her eye had been taken when Pirika was about to start high school. Although it was in the section with Yoh, he was only off to the side. His picture self was smiling into the darkness at a couple hidden mostly by shadows.

#

 _"Pirika," a voice called from the stairs. Glancing over Pirika saw Yoh. Tilting her head a little she stopped and waited for him to come over to her. "You're looking for your brother aren't you?" he asked._

 _Not liking the smile he wore Pirika frowned. Still, she wouldn't lie to him. "Yes. I'm bored and I wanted him to play with me."_

 _"He is a little busy," Yoh tried to explain._

 _Although Pirika knew where this was going and glared at him, she played dumb a moment longer. "He went to work right after school. He should finally have gotten back a little while ago. He knows how much I like to see him at night so where else would he be?"_

 _Yoh shook his head. Her act didn't fool him. He saw the way her shoulders tensed and her mouth turned down angrily. "Let's go for a walk Pirika."_

 _She wanted to deny him, but Yoh wasn't someone you really disobeyed. Especially when he had the air of authority about him as he did now. Gritting her teeth she followed him outside._

 _They walked a few blocks towards the cemetery when Pirika was confronted with the sight she had been expecting. Over in the moonlight she could see her brother sitting with his arm around Tamao. Since Pirika liked the seer, she knew there wasn't any logic to her anger. Still, she was jealous. Sharing her brother wasn't something she had ever needed to do. He had always been hers alone. Spinning angrily she punched Yoh on the arm. The brunet didn't seem to mind. He just pretended it hadn't happened._

 _"Look at him," Yoh ordered._

 _Although her eyes moved to her brother they were fixed in a glare._

 _"Really look at him," Yoh insisted. "Look at how relaxed he is. You know him well enough to imagine the smile on his face right now. You can even see him laughing if you look close."_

 _Although she didn't want to admit it, Yoh was right. She could occasionally see his body shaking with humor. He was too casual for it to be anything but._

 _"He really tries to do what is best for you," Yoh explained. "He stays in school to be a good example. He works so much to get the pair of you that apartment you are both looking at. This is the first thing he has done for himself in a long time and he is truly happy. Can you take that away from him?"_

 _Pirika was angry with Yoh. She hadn't wanted to see reason. She was happy being unreasonable. Still, thinking about what he did and how happy he was she couldn't do anything but frown. "You've made your point," she growled, heading back for the onsen. When she was a little distance away she looked back at the sight._

 _It wasn't just Horohoro that was happy right now. A smile lit Yoh's face just seeing the pair. Finally Pirika gave a little smile of her own. Her brother was always so tense. Maybe Tamao could help with that. Pulling out her camera she snapped a picture before heading back for her room._

#

When things faded back and Pirika was standing at the top of the stairs she saw Yoh looking at her curiously. He was almost eager.

"What did you see?" he asked her.

Pirika laughed a little at his enthusiasm. "It was a memory not a vision."

Yoh just shrugged, not caring much about the difference. Shaking her head Pirika turned the book around and let Yoh see which her finger was pointing at.

His brown eyes lit up as he scanned the pages. "Can I choose one?"

Now Pirika laughed loudly. "Why not," she agreed. What Yoh chose might tell her something about him as well. Finally Yoh picked and pointed to a picture in the top corner.

"Why that one," Pirika asked curiously.

Yoh smiled. "I'll tell you after," he explained.

Smiling at him Pirika looked down at the picture and let it pull her away.

#

 _Pirika was sitting in the park crying. It wasn't sad tears however. They were joyful. Still, she didn't really want anyone else to see so she had come here alone._

 _"Hey," a voice called from behind her._

 _Pirika jumped. She thought she had been alone. Looking up slowly she saw Yoh. His hands were out in front of him, signaling peace._

 _He must have known she didn't want to talk because he simply sat on the swing beside her._

 _Eventually he did speak, telling her why he had come. "You brother is getting a little worried about you," he told her._

 _Pirika sighed and looked in the direction of the onsen. She had been gone a while, but she figured that his win would have had him celebrating for longer. Getting to her feet she started back, knowing that Yoh was only a few steps behind._

 _They were nearly back when she came to a stop, her eyes were locked on the ground. "I'm sorry Yoh," Pirika mumbled. It was easy to see that Yoh didn't know quite what she meant by the way he tilted his head. "I shouldn't have yelled at you so much after you beat Onii-chan. I thought our dreams were over and I blamed you. You weren't trying to hurt us. I was just angry with you. It didn't help that you just smiled and laughed. So did Onii-chan."_

 _Yoh just gave a laugh, same as then, and threw an arm around Pirika before she could continue. "Don't worry Pirika," he told her. "Things will be good from here on out."_

 _Giving Yoh a little hug she pulled away and faced the onsen. This made her think of another conversation she should be having._

#

Just like had happened with one of Faust's memories Pirika felt herself being pulled towards a different person so she stopped. That would be her next stop.

"Why that one?" Pirika asked Yoh curiously.

Yoh gave his classic smile. "That was the first time you didn't hate me," he explained with a laugh.

Pirika laughed with him for a moment but then decided she needed to move on. "Where is Anna?"

"Downstairs probably, watching her shows." As if nothing had happened Yoh continued on his way and Pirika hurried down the stairs.

Anna gave a tiny smile when Pirika walked over to her. The others had been talking and she knew what to expect. Not wanting to put pressure on the girl she kept her eyes on her soaps as Pirika sat down and opened her scrapbook.

Pirika didn't need to look at the picture to start this one off. It was a beautiful picture of the hot spring at night, but her memory trip with Yoh was prompting enough since it had happened less than an hour later that night.

#

 _Pirika finally tracked Anna down, relaxing in the hot springs. She approached awkwardly. This wasn't something she wanted to do, but she felt she had to. More people experience probably would have helped, but that couldn't be changed now._

 _Anna looked over when she heard the younger girl splash into the water._

 _"A-Anna," she stuttered. When she had the blonde's attention she moved towards her and continued. "I w-wanted to apologize."_

 _Finally Anna spoke. "I heard your brother made it to the next round."_

 _Pirika smiled as the words calmed her. "Yeah," she admitted with a nod. "That's what this is about. It wasn't fair of me to be so rude to you and Yoh after he beat Horohoro."_

 _Anna looked Pirika right in the eye, her gaze serious. "We can't ever give up on them," she told the girl. "Yoh is the same as Horohoro. They can't do this without us."_

 _Pirika didn't know what to think. This wasn't the Anna she heard about. Just as soon as the moment had come, it was gone. Anna had gone back to soaking and was fully ignoring the Ainu girl. It was as if the whole thing had never happened._

#

Pirika left the memory smiling. That had been her first hint of Anna's soft side. It didn't make a regular appearance, but was around when someone really needed.

A sound drew Pirika's attention. It was a soft cry. Both women in the room looked to the bundle wrapped up by the Ikato's chest. A little blond haired boy lay there. Seeing him caused Pirika to flip to the next page. There she saw a picture of Anna, exhausted but smiling as she held a few day old babe.

#

 _They had come, but Pirika was unsure about being here. Anna had Hana two days earlier and Yoh had wanted them to come over so he could show off his new pride and joy._

 _How could they say no? It didn't help that Horohoro was totally oblivious to his sister's fears._

 _When they walked in the door to see Yoh. His smile was enormous, but he looked a little out of it._

 _"Anna is upstairs with Hana," he explained. "Do you want to go see them?"_

 _Horohoro laughed softly as he shot his sister a look. "That would be why we are here."_

 _"Yeah," Yoh said, as if reminding himself. After shaking his head he led them to the bedroom. Walking in they saw Anna laying on the futon resting with Hana swaddled up beside her._

 _If anything Anna looked more exhausted than Yoh. It made sense but it was something the Usui's had never seen. There were bags under her eyes and her hair was mussed._

 _Still, there was a previously unseen smile lining her lips as her eyes locked on the little boys._

 _Staying quiet Yoh moved forward and lifted the infant from the blankets. Hana fussed a little, but settled when Yoh pulled him close to his body. Seeing a chance for rest Anna closed her eyes and relaxed._

 _Horohoro walked over and smiled. "Cute kid Yoh," he said as he poked at the chubby little cheeks._

 _Pirika was a little more cautious than her brother as she approached, but she still made it over to his side. She smiled at herself as she looked down at him. He was adorable._

 _When he gave a huge yawn far too big for his tiny mouth Pirika giggled. This caused him to open his little brown eyes and turn in her direction._

 _Just as she was starting to relax the doorbell rang downstairs._

 _"Crap," Yoh said. "That must be the pizza."_

 _"I can grab it," Horohoro offered, but Yoh shook his head._

 _"No I still have to dig out the money." His eyes crossed over Anna's sleeping form and he turned to Pirika. She felt dread before he took the step towards her. "Here Pirika," he said._

 _No one knew about her fears, so Yoh didn't pay much mind as Pirika stuttered and tried to refuse. "N-no. Please, I wouldn't want to impose. I'm sure he would prefer someone he knows."_

 _"Nonsense," Yoh assured her. Without a hesitation he passed the small bundle over._

 _Before Pirika could even think about it Yoh had Hana safely arranged in her arms and the two men had scampered from the room._

 _Mere seconds had passed before two little brown eyes opened and the babe started to fuss. Pirika panicked._

 _"Relax," Anna growled from the bed._

 _Pirika looked up desperately to see Anna laying there with one eye open watching her. "What?"_

 _"Relax," Anna ordered again. "If you stay that tense you are going to fall over. I'd rather you didn't while holding my son."_

 _Pirika nearly tripped over her own feet as she rushed to get the child back to its mother, causing him to give a little cry._

 _"Sit," Anna ordered calmly, glancing at a spot near the bed._

 _Not sure what to do Pirika tried to pass off Hana first but Anna shook her head and gestured to the seat again. Moving stiffly Pirika obeyed._

 _Anna waited until the younger woman was seated before she spoke again. Instead she looked her up and down. Even all the years prior when they had met Anna had never seen Pirika look this small and frightened. It was almost humorous. Well it would be if it wasn't for the true fear in those blue eyes._

 _Seeing that she had taken a seat Anna closed her eyes a little again. Her exhaustion wasn't an act and any rest was appreciated. "Just relax," she repeated. "Hold him against you and calm down. You can do this Pirika."_

 _Pirika took a deep breath and obeyed. She didn't like being afraid this way. She didn't hate kids, or even dislike them. Her eyes were locked on the infant and she actually laughed in delight and relief when he sighed and settled._

 _Looking up she saw Anna watching her with a smile. Looking up Anna met her eye. "What are you afraid of?"_

 _Pirika debated denying it, but it wouldn't help much. Not only would it be a lie, but Anna was attentive; far too attentive for her not to have noticed every tremor Pirika had given. She was also smart enough to make an educated guess as to the source of the fear. Pirika sighed and let her shoulders slump. She had never mentioned this to anyone._

 _"I- I never knew my mother," Pirika stated, her tone a little detached. "My father always said I killed her. Then Horohoro ran away with me when I was five. I have no experience with children myself and I don't have any memories to look back on. What if I-"_

 _Anna interrupted. "What if I hurt it?" she wondered aloud, as if taking Pirika's thoughts right from her. "What if it hates me? What if I can't take care of us?"_

 _Pirika watched the blond with her mouth hanging open._

 _"You aren't the only one with fears Pirika," Anna said in amusement. "I was abandoned younger than you were when your brother saved you. I was on the streets until Kino found me."_

 _"You had Kino though," Pirika insisted. "There was never a mother figure in my life."_

 _"Kino wasn't really a mother figure," Anna explained. "She saved me and I will always care about her, but she was never a mother. There was no touchy feely bits to our relationship."_

 _"Why aren't you afraid?" Pirika asked softly. Anna was having a tender moment and Pirika was hoping she might actually get a response._

 _"I am afraid," Anna corrects. "I was terrified the first time Yoh handed him to me."_

 _"Then why?" Pirika broke off, not actually sure what she was wanting to ask._

 _Anna gave a faraway smile. "Yoh," she answered simply. It didn't matter what the exact question was. Yoh was the answer. "Yoh makes me feel strong. Seeing him look at Hana I know I can do this."_

 _Pirika gave a little forced smile of her own. "You're lucky Anna, for having someone like Yoh."_

 _"Ren will surprise you," Anna told her._

 _Pirika looked over in shock. Anna had known just what she was thinking. How that was possible she didn't have a clue. The pair of them were not common knowledge. Hell, even Horohoro didn't know! How could Anna?_

 _The smirk the ikato wore told Pirika she wasn't going to say another word._

#

The memory was bitter sweet. It was her first memory of Hana, and her first time feeling confident with a baby. It was also one of the times Pirika and Anna had really bonded and those were special.

The downside? It made her think about children of her own. Of course she wanted babies, but Pirika did not have Anna's faith in Ren. Pirika loved the Tao, more after her recent disaster. Still with his own childhood being what it was, and the current situation with his family, Pirika couldn't imagine him ever liking children, let alone wanting one of his own; regardless of what Anna thought.

After having fallen in love with Hana, Pirika was pleased to be an honorary auntie. She loved the position she had now, but it let her see her concerns about Ren were valid.

#

 _Anna was sitting on the couch letting Hana use her fingers to hold himself up. Pirika and Yoh were sitting on the floor a few feet from each other, both cheering the little boy._

 _A gleeful squeal from the toddler encouraged them._

 _"Come to papa," Yoh urged the little one. Seeing his father and hearing his voice Hana turned and carefully released Anna's fingers. He toddled four or so steps before he tripped and fell to the ground. Not fazed by the fall he crawled over to Yoh's arms._

 _"Good job buddy!" Yoh praised as he pulled the boy back to his feet. Glancing up at Pirika he turned the boy and pointed him towards her. "Go to auntie," he told him._

 _Seeing a smile on the boy Pirika encouraged him as well. "Come on Hana. Come to auntie Piri."_

 _With the biggest smile he did it, teetering every step between the two._

 _"Yay!" Pirika cheered, clapping happily as Hana babbled in her lap._

 _"Awe come on," Horohoro whined. "He comes to her but he never comes to me?"_

 _"Hush," Tamao told him with a giggle._

 _Pirika looked over her shoulder towards her brother when she saw him. Ren. He was standing there by the door watching her with the oddest look. Hana started to stumble so Pirika had her attention yanked back. By the time she looked again Ren was gone._

#


	8. Chapter 8

#

 **Chapter 8**

#

Pirika didn't really know what to say now. Anna was smiling down happily at her son, but Pirika was in her own unhappy world. That moment had showed her all she needed to know. Ren was normally pleased to see her smile, but this time he had walked away. Seeing her happy with a baby was something he didn't like. Why else would he have left like he did?

"Pirika," Anna called softly, pulling the girl from her stupor. Shaking her head Pirika looked up. Anna was watching her closely, reminding her again of how attentive the blonde was. It was as if she knew exactly what was going on in her jumbled head. "If you have seen anything since you have come back you should see how much Ren cares for you. There is nothing he wouldn't do for you."

Pirika looked down, not comforted by her words. Maybe Ren would do almost anything for her, but she didn't want to make him. It wasn't just about what he would do, it was about them wanting the same things. She wouldn't give Ren up for anything in the world, but she was still a little sad.

Giving herself a forceful shake she decided to move on. There were so many more memories she wanted to walk through. Anna must have known she was ready to move on because she spoke. "Manta should be around here somewhere if you want to see him next. He wanted to hang out with Yoh tonight and they had no plans of going out."

With a smile Pirika moved forward and placed a gentle hand on Hana's head before leaving Anna with a slight bow.

Finding Manta wouldn't be hard since the men's voices could be heard laughing from upstairs. She followed the sound, hoping she wouldn't be interrupting and Yoh wouldn't mind giving them a moment.

It turned out she had nothing to worry about because as soon as they saw her Yoh gave a huge smile and got to his feet. "I';m going to head down to get a snack," he said, leaving without Pirika saying a word.

Like always Manta didn't seem to be in a rush. He just sat there watching curiously as she opened her book and looked from him to some of the pictures on the page. Nothing was said between the pair before Pirika felt herself slip away from the room they were in.

#

 _Of all the times for Ren to be gone, why now? Of all the times for Sensei to assign an assignment like this!_

 _It was lucky Horohoro had to work today because Pirika was a crying mess by the time she got home. Although Horohoro had heard Ren helped her with homework he had no idea of how bad it had been or how close Pirika had been to truly flunking out. He would be disappointed in her and she would do anything to avoid that now._

 _Although she didn't want to, Pirika ran right to the phone in the apartment and called his number. She had been told only to use it in when it was an emergency, but she thought this might qualify._

 _"Speak quickly I do not have much time for this."_

 _"R-Ren I need help. The stupid computer class. Sensei assigned a project worth most of our grade and we have only a week to do it."_

 _She heard Ren curse softly. "He gave it this early?" he muttered._

 _"Did you know about this?" she asked angrily._

 _Ren hissed softly. He was dealing with enough without adding in her tone. "As I stated, he has never given this assignment so early in the semester. It is normally one of the last tasks."_

 _"It doesn't matter when it is given!" she cried. "I could never complete this on my own. You know how I hate computers."_

 _"Stop babbling and let me think," Ren ordered. Although his words were cold, his voice had softened. It let her calm enough that she could give him the time that he wanted. "I have an idea," he told her after a minute or two. "I need to make a call or two, then I will call you back. Alright?"_

 _Pirika nodded, forgetting he couldn't see her._

 _"Pirika," he prompted._

 _"Y-yes," she finally responded. "I'll wait right here."_

 _Hanging up the phone Pirika let herself slide to the floor. She was almost in a daze as she waited. It wasn't clear how much time had passed when she launched at the ringing phone. "Hello?"_

 _"Listen carefully. I have only two minutes to speak." Hearing no response he continued. "I have found someone to help you with this. They will meet you at my apartment in an hour. Use my computer. It's sitting by the bed, you know where."_

 _"Who is coming? Who did you call?" Pirika asked desperately._

 _"Pirika that does not matter," he told her. "As long as you complete this we will go out for sushi when I get back."_

 _His words did cause her pause. Ren didn't like sushi. Pirika loved sushi. Him taking her out for fish was special. This was his way of calming her. This was his olive branch. "Thank you Ren-kun," she whispered before she heard a click at the other end._

 _Ren told her to be at his apartment in an hour. Giving herself half an hour for the walk she was left with a little less than 30 minutes to get ready. After her crying her priority was a shower, so she rushed off to get started._

 _She was a few minutes early when she turned the key and walked into the other apartment she knew so well. It was a lot nicer than the ones the siblings shared, but that was just Ren._

 _Pirika headed to the bedroom to grab Ren's computer. It wasn't even his main computer. He kept that with him at all times. This was only his back up. Well one of his back ups. The man had a half dozen computers at least._

 _This might not have been his main computer, but it was still better than anything the school had to offer. While getting the device, Pirika noticed the money he left on the bed table._

 _Pirika wasn't normally keen on accepting his money, but she hadn't eaten much today. She had gotten her assignment just before lunch and so she had barely nibbled. After school she had called Ren and rushed over here. There hadn't been a real chance to eat._

 _Giving a sigh she grabbed some of the cash. Once her tutor, whoever that was, got here they could order something to be delivered._

 _Here a knock on the door Pirika hurried out. Her mouth dropped open when she opened the door to see Manta standing there with a smile._

 _"Ren didn't tell you I was coming did he?" Manta asked with a laugh._

 _Pirika shook her head trying to find her voice. "Why are you here?" she asked as he headed past her and began setting his things up on the table._

 _Manta looked back at her oddly. "I'm here to help you with your assignment," he said as if it was obvious._

 _"No I mean why would you help?" she asked. Despite her confusion Pirika had moved to Manta's side at the table and began opening Ren's computer. "I expected Ren would have to pay someone to come help me."_

 _He laughed. "You aren't that hard to be around Pirika," he assured her._

 _"There must be better ways to spend your time. You run your own company!"_

 _"If you want me to leave I will," he offered._

 _Pirika put her hands up desperately. "Don't go!" she rushed._

 _Manta smiled. He had been expecting her reaction. "Then we should get started."_

 _Pirika was about to sit down when the pair heard a rumble from her stomach. A flush covered her cheeks and she looked away. "Sorry. I haven't eaten anything today."_

 _"Homework will be easier if you have something in your stomach," he told her kindly._

 _Pirika looked at the spotless kitchen. "Ren doesn't keep food here, but I can order something. Is pizza okay with you?"_

 _Manta shrugged. "Get whatever you want. I'm not picky."_

 _Pirika relaxed. She didn't know why, but Manta's calm manner put her at ease. A small smile appeared on her face as she went over to the phone to call for food. As soon as she hung up she was able to sit by the computers and the pair began._

 _#_

 _It hadn't been possible to get the whole project done in one night. Also there was work Pirika needed to do that Manta didn't need to sit and watch. The pair decided that they would meet again Sunday afternoon, giving her a day and a half to do the work by herself._

 _When Manta looked over the work he had to admit he was impressed. It was far from perfect, but given Pirika's skill with computers he had been expecting worse. She would certainly pass. That was all Ren, or Pirika, had asked for._

 _"You umm, you aren't going to tell my brother about this, are you?" Pirika asked nervously as Manta began to pack up._

 _Manta looked over at her with pity. "You're really worried about him finding out, huh?"_

 _Pirika looked down ashamed. "He would be so disappointed if he knew."_

 _"Pirika," Manta explained gently. "I'm sure he noticed you aren't good in school. The rest of us noticed and he knows you better than we do."_

 _"It was bad," she whispered. "Worse than anyone knew."_

 _"What do you mean?" he asked._

 _Pirika looked the little man up and down. She decided to trust him. He had come here to help her at a moments notice. As far as she knew Ren hadn't needed to offer him anything. What could he have offered? Ren's go to bribe was money but since Manta owned his own business that wouldn't mean much to him. "Let's make a deal," she told him. "I'll tell you about it if you tell me why you are doing this."_

 _Manta just shrugged and nodded. He was going to get a lot more out of this than she was, but she had offered the deal._

 _"That is why Ren and I started spending time together," she explained. "He found out I was about to be removed from school. He said I could either work with him to make my grades better or he would tell Onii-chan. That was the middle of last year. We met everyday to work on my homework. He was so patient," her words drifted off as she thought back. "If it wasn't for Ren-kun I would have dropped out."_

 _Manta was shocked. He had no idea Pirika had fallen so far behind, or how she managed to hide it from her brother and the rest of them. Only Ren had noticed? He decided he would need to watch the pair of them together a little more. Ren's attention implied he had been focused on the bluenette quite intently for some time._

 _"Now you tell me what he offered you to get you here," Pirika prompted, having decided the silence had become uncomfortable, at least to her._

 _Now Manta smiled. "Ren didn't offer me anything," he told her simply._

 _Pirika frowned, a little confused. "Then why did you come?"_

 _"Ren called me at work and said he needed a favor. He never asks for anything so I knew it had to be important. Then he explained that he wasn't here to help you with the big computer assignment. He asked if I would come here to help you. I agreed, finishing up at the office before coming here."_

 _"But why would you-?"_

 _Manta laughed, she wasn't getting this. Getting to his feet he went to the door. It was getting late and they both needed to get home. "He didn't offer me anything Pirika. I was happy to help you." She was standing there stunned, her mouth hanging open a little. "If you need help again feel free to call me yourself. I left my number on the table in case you don't have it." Nothing more was said as he walked out and shut the door behind him._

#

Pirika used the next dinner time as a chance to observe everyone. Sitting around the table was the whole group. Usually they only got together once a year around Christmas, but they were all here now.

Yoh was at the head of the table with Anna off to his left. Between them was little Hana eating with his fingers. On that same side was Faust with Eliza, followed by Ryu and Manta. To Yoh's left was Lyserg, Choco, Horohoro and Tamao, holding hands under the table, Pirika was at her brothers side with Ren beside her as well.

Pirika went over them all one by one. Yoh she had spent time with already, same with Anna, and Hana. Eliza would always be grouped in with Faust and she had been through his pages first. Manta had been done this morning, leaving just Ryu on that side of the table. On the other side Pirika had spent time with both Ren and her brother. Tamao, Lyserg, and Choco were left.

That was four people whose memories still needed to be gone over. As much as she wanted to just get it all over with so she could feel like she wasn't missing anything, she wasn't strong enough. Ren had noticed the toll the memories were taking on her, and it was only getting worse with time. In a rush to get it all done she was not allowing herself enough rest. She needed to start giving herself time. She needed to prioritize.

Lyserg and Choco should come first. They had already taken weeks out of their lives for her and they would need to get back to things quickly. Pirika was angry she hadn't thought of this earlier! Everyone knew how she was going around, both Yoh and Manta had mentioned it. They might be waiting for her.

She had inconvenienced them enough. Like it or not she needed to push herself.

If she could get them both done tonight they could get on with their lives in the morning. It would need to be done carefully. If Ren got wind of what she had in mind he would put his foot down.

As if the spirits heard her his phone went off just as everyone was leaving the table. It was only a text, but it was enough to give her a chance to slip away.

Grabbing her book she decided to tackle what she feared might be the most difficult first.

#

Pirika found Lyserg in his room with the door open. Knocking on the door frame she waited until he beckoned her in. She had to admit, going through her scrap book she had discovered a problem relating to Lyserg. "I don't really have any pictures of you," she told him sadly, unsure what to think.

Lyserg led her over to sit on the bed giving her a kind smile. "I'm not surprised," he admitted easily. Looking down at the page she was open to he saw a single side, but the only pictures he was in were group pictures from Christmases past.

"Why?" she asked.

Lyserg kept his easy smile, flipping through the other pages slowly, seeing what she had of who. "Well, look at Chocolove," he reasoned. "He lives so far away it isn't possible for him to be around much. Even getting here once a year is a challenge at times. The only reason you have many pictures of him is because he was on the same team as your brother during the tournament. I was with the X-Laws by the time you joined your brother. After the tournament I returned to England and worked on starting a detective agency. Until that was up and running I didn't want to leave very often or for very long. I only started coming frequently a year or two ago."

"But if you have been coming for the last few years why don't I have any recent pictures of you even? You are in these two," she pointed at two group pictures. "I have a few pictures of the others from these visits. Why wouldn't I have taken any of you?"

Lyserg gave a little smile and a sigh. She wasn't going to let this go. "I'm not proud of some of the things I did as an X-Law. Yoh forgave me and happily allowed me to come back. Others were less welcoming."

"I don't understand," Pirika told him. "I can't imagine anyone being anything but nice and open with you."

"They all are," Lyserg agreed. "Most of us have received second chances from Yoh. No one here is going to be anything but friendly, including me.

Trust however is harder to get, for some even more than others."

Pirika was frowning. "I would have trusted you," she said softly.

Now Lyserg laughed. "Of course you would have," he told her, leaning back and looking at the ceiling. "Your easy going brother wasn't a problem either."

"Then what?-"

"Ren," Lyserg answered easily. "By the time I started coming around more frequently the two of you were together, or at the very least he was interested. He was protective of you. Out of everyone, Ren trusts me the least. He never forgave me for turning my back on everyone to join Jeanne. He will always be afraid my priorities will change."

"Oh I bet he isn't as cold as you think," Pirika tried to tell him.

He laughed deeply this time. "While that is possible, I doubt it. Even so, a fight with Ren is something I would not relish, so I'd like to avoid it if at all possible."

Pirika frowned and tried to remember something, anything about the man beside her.

#

 _Getting out of the hot spring felt amazing. It was so nice, especially when it was used as a precursor to Ren taking her out. Pirika had been about to head back to her apartment when she heard an unfamiliar laugh. Looking up the stairs she saw Yoh and another man laughing. Yoh clapped him on the back and continued toward his room, where Hana could be heard fussing. The other man continued down the stairs towards her._

 _He was about half way down when it hit her. The green hair was the same, but the green eyes had grown sharp. His face had grown long over the years, but still, standing right there, taller than her by at least a foot was, "Lyserg?"_

 _The disbelief was evident in her voice, as shown by the way he smiled down at her. "Pirika," he acknowledged with a nod._

 _"What are you doing here? I mean, I haven't seen you since the fights."_

 _Placing his hand gently on her back, Lyserg guided her towards the empty living room and the pair sat on the couch. "It's my first trip to Japan," he told her. "After the competition I went back to England. I was determined to get the detective business I always wanted up and running. Also, like a lot of the others, I needed a little time to myself, to go home and think about everything that had happened."_

 _"And everything that had been done?" a voice growled from the doorway._

 _A smile lit Pirika's face as she turned to see the man standing there. Lyserg didn't respond as well. Years had deepened the voice, but he still had his suspicions as to the speaker. Looking up he confirmed his thoughts. Standing there, glaring, was Ren._

 _Ren's eyes never met Pirika's as he spoke to her. "Unless you want to change our plans you need to get home. You can't go for sushi dressed like that and if it gets much later we won't make our reservation."_

 _Had she been thinking about it she might have questioned the anger he showed, or the fact that there was nothing special enough about tonight that warranted him sitting through sushi. It was also the first mention he had made of reservations. Normally he told her if there was a specific deadline she needed to meet, especially knowing she wanted to visit the hot spring first. Ren's trick worked however. Pirika jumped to her feet and ran to his side._

 _"I'll grab my things quick," she promised. "Then we can stop by the apartment on the way to the restaurant."_

 _The moment she was out of the room Ren moved forward. "I will give you one warning," his words were soft and hissed, but Lyserg heard them just fine, "and only one. You stay away from her."_

 _Not wanting a fight Lyserg raised his hands in surrender without saying a word._

 _Satisfied, Ren backed out of the room and followed after Pirika, accepting the fact that he would need to sit through a meal of fish. Still, it was worth it if it made his point. Hopefully Lyserg wouldn't cause any problems._

#

Coming out of this memory was different. Instead of things slowly getting clearer they just became fuzzier.

Lyserg watched as Pirika's far off expression went to one of pain. He watched as her eyes rolled back into the back of her head and her body went limp.

"Ren!" he shouted as he caught her. "Horohoro!" he called, thinking of her brother as mostly an afterthought.

Footsteps could be heard thudding down the hall. Ren was first in, not that Lyserg was surprised. He hadn't been exaggerating when he said the man was protective of Pirika. Crazy older brother wasn't much farther behind.

The pair them had this down. If Lyserg wasn't concerned he would have been impressed. Horohoro went to grab his sister while Ren got up in Lyserg's face.

"What did you do to her?" he asked angrily.

"I did nothing!" Lyserg promised in a hurry. "She came in with her book. We just talked for a little while before she started to remember something."

"Couldn't you tell she was exhausted?" Ren snapped. "She has been pushing herself too hard to remember everything. You never should have let her do this!"

"What was I supposed to have done?" Lyserg asked angrily.

"You could have-" Ren started but was cut off by Horohoro.

"She's coming around," the Ainu said roughly.

Pirika gave a little groan and her eyes opened a little.

Now that he was looking Lyserg could see what Ren meant. She hid it behind her smiles and laughs, but Pirika was paler than when Ren had first brought her back if that was possible. She also had large bags under her eyes.

"You were right Lyserg," she whispered, her voice a little horse. Everyone looked down at her curiously. "Ren doesn't like you."

He couldn't help it. Lyserg let out another full laugh. Even Horohoro could be heard giving a small chuckle.

Ren glared back at all of them. "Amusing yourself are you?" he hissed angrily.

"Relax Ren," Pirika eased in a calming voice. Horohoro helped her to her feet and she took a few steps towards him.

"Yelling isn't going to help right now dude," Horohoro told him. "Pirika needs rest."

Ren glared at the Brit, but turned to the siblings none the less.

"I'll go lay down after I see Choco," she told them.

"Oh not a chance in Hell," Ren told her. "Had I known you were coming here I wouldn't have allowed that much."

"Don't you tell me what to do Ren-kun!" Pirika snapped angrily. "All these people have been stuck here because of my stupidity. I will not be the reason they are stuck here any longer."

"Pirika no," Horohoro said firmly. "You need rest. If anyone wanted to leave they could have. You making yourself sick isn't going to help anyone."

Glaring at both of them Pirika spun on her heel and went to leave the room. When she headed in the direction on Choco's room instead of her own Ren gave a little growl.

She had taken only a few steps by the time Ren caught her. Without even warning her he threw her over his shoulder and headed the other direction.

"Put me down!" she shrieked. "Onii-chan do something."

Horohoro just watched the pair shaking his head.

"I really didn't mean to cause her any distress," Lyserg assured him.

Horohoro nodded. "I know you didn't," he said, sighing deeply. "They both blame themselves," he explained.

Lyserg was curious. What were they blaming themselves for exactly? And how did normally dense Horohoro notice it. "Why do you think-?" he asked, not fully finishing his thoughts. "How did you see-?"

Now when Horohoro looked over it was with a smile. That normal cheesy grin. "I know both of them; probably better than anyone else here. She blames herself for getting tricked by Hao. She thinks everyone would be doing their own thing if it wasn't for her. Ren feels like it is his fault she got taken. He was so quick to think his father had taken Pirika, he must have known the bastard wouldn't have approved. I never understood why he was going to bring her over there. They both wanted it though so I wouldn't stop him. Now he is kicking himself for it."

"What are you going to do?" Lyserg asked curiously.

"I don't know," Horohoro responded, talking mostly to himself. With a sigh he walked out. He did know what he was going to do next, but not in the long run.

#

Horohoro could hear the fighting when he got to the door. At his side Chocolove looked nervous. "Ha ha. Maybe I should come back later," he suggested.

Horohoro snickered. "Not going to chicken out now are you?" he asked. Like Lyserg, Choco and most of the others, wanted to stay on the safe side of Ren's temper whenever possible.

Not giving him a chance to run off Horo knocked on the door and walked in. Inside Pirika and Ren were standing on opposite sides of the room both seething.

"Pirika, you lay down on the bed and you can talk to Choco."

"Oh I don't think so," Ren snapped.

Horohoro turned his gaze to Ren, his eyes wearing a serious look not frequently seen on the joker. "You and I need to talk." Horohoro didn't give Ren much of choice because he grabbed the man's arm and all but dragged him out.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Ren hissed.

Horohoro wasn't overly concerned by his friends aggression. Only Pirika, and maybe Yoh, saw through the act more than Horohoro did. "Chill out dude. A fight with you isn't going to make thing easier for anyone."

"Putting her through all this isn't going to help her!" he seethed.

Horohoro sighed. This might get ugly, but Ren needed to chill. "You know Pirika as well as I do," Horohoro told him.

"You don't need to tell me that."

"That means you know she can be stubborn. Trying to stop her from doing this isn't going to help her. All she is going to do is fight. If we let her do this on our terms, with her resting, everyone wins," Horohoro explained calmly.

"No one wins! She is exhausted. She needs sleep not to be reliving a full eighteen years!" Ren snapped.

Horohoro raised a brow, a smile on his face. "Even you can't stop her Ren, neither of us can. We never have been able to."

Ren wanted to yell at him, tell him that she would rest if it killed him, but Ren knew he was right. She would keep herself awake until Ren needed to use the bathroom or sleep and rush off at that point. That would just keep her awake and alert looking for her chance. "Fine, but this is it for today. Any more memories can wait until tomorrow."

"Yes," Horohoro agreed. "I don't think she will fight that either. Chocolove and Lyserg both crossed the world for her. She wants them to get back to their lives. Everyone else here can come and go as they please and she can still get her memories. At most she will wait a week or two, or maybe she would go to see them, but it wouldn't be a big deal either way. It's Lyserg and Choco she feels she is hurting the most."

Ren growled softly before spinning around heading back to Pirika's room. Glancing down the hall Horohoro saw him standing right outside the room, probably waiting until Choco came out to go back in. Hopefully both of them could rest a little at this point.

#

Giving an awkward smile Choco looked across the room at Pirika. She was standing there giving him a small smile in return, but he didn't miss the fact that she was leaning against the wall to keep herself up.

Leaping forward he took her arm and led her towards the bed. "It might be a good idea if you lay down," he advised.

Pirika gave him a half hearted glare. "Does Ren have everyone that scared?"

Giving a nervous laugh Choco avoided the question. "Your brother made me promise you would lay down before I let you remember anything."

Even if she wanted to, Pirika didn't have enough energy to fight him, so she accepted his help and crawled under the covers, glad she hadn't bothered to change out of her sweats at any point today. They were comfy and she had no intention of leaving so why bother. It wasn't like anyone would blame her for that after everything.

By the time she got settled Choco was starting to look really uncomfortable. Pirika laughed a little. "Bring me that book," she instructed.  
Pleased that he would be doing something and not thinking of how angry Ren had looked he hurried to obey. Once he handed the book over to her he sat on the floor beside the bed. Not only would Ren fully lose it if he walked in to see Choco sitting on the bed beside Pirika, but given his large stature he wouldn't have fit anyway.

"Are you ready?" Pirika asked, drawing his attention.

Noticing her exhausted tone he decided to ask his own question. "Are you sure you are up for this?"

Giving a soft laugh she opened the book and let her gaze choose a picture that had been taken by one of the others mere hours after her brother had her accident.

 _#_

 _Pirika watched Faust walk away and she could do nothing but fall to her knees and sob. No matter what the doctor said, she couldn't believe he was safe until she saw him herself. She was only semi aware as the others wandered off to give her the space she needed. Eventually she cried herself out, though she was unsure how long had passed. At that point she felt numb. Her eyes were locked on the closed door that hid her hurting brother from her._

 _Someone sat at her side, but Pirika didn't know who it was until a dark hand touched her arm and she heard a familiar, nervous laugh. "It's going to be okay Pirika," he told her. Pirika barely heard his words, let alone was she moved by them. "How about I tell you some jokes to cheer you up?" Choco looked down at Pirika beside him, but she was staring forward as if she hadn't heard him. "Okay well," he muttered to himself. Really he had nothing to lose and so much to gain. Pirika was the one that always laughed at his jokes when the others were ready to murder him. He wanted to help her now._

 _"What did the red light say to the green light?" he asked her, expecting the silence he received. "Don't look at me I'm changing!" He got his whole body into the act, hiding himself behind his hands as he squealed out the answer. Opening one eye he watched her carefully. He was waiting for her to slowly smile and laugh, but the minutes past and she remained still and silent. Sighing he continued. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"_

 _#_

 _"Why do bananas wear sunscreen? Because they peel!" He had been at this for hours, putting his heart and soul into it and Pirika was just as still and terrified as she was when he started. Each joke that she ignored, each laugh that he was hoping for but never heard pushed him forward._

 _After a pause, waiting for her to get it before he moved on to his next joke. "What did the horse say when he fell? I've fallen and I can't giddy up." More silence. Choco had to admit he was running out of material. "Why did the moon rock taste better than the earth rock? Because it's a little meteor." Another pause. She was really making him work for this. "Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke hadn't been invented yet!"_

 _Fifty seconds, sixty. Choco had been about to speak again when the corner of her lips curled up. Another few seconds and her wonderful laughter filled the air. "What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?" he asked now that he had finally broken through. "Oh snap!" More laughter._

 _It was music to his ears and everything he had ever wanted. Suddenly Pirika's laughs turned to sobs and she leaned her head on Choco's shoulder. Looking behind them he saw Yoh and a few of the others peeking out from their motel. He had been worried they would be angry he had made her cry, but they all wore sad smiles. It seemed they liked this better. Putting an arm over her shoulder Choco let her cry herself out._

#

Horohoro kept his eye on Ren as he waited in the hall. He was antsy and displeased, that was clear. His teeth were gritted and his foot was tapping. Those golden eyes were darting up and down the hall yet not really taking anything in.

After what probably felt like forever to the Tao the bedroom door opened and Choco came out. It was amusing, given the size Choco had grown to and Ren's small stature, but Choco took one glance at the shorter man and hurried off, not even meeting his eye. Horohoro was pretty sure that if he hadn't led the other man past Ren, he never would have gotten to see Pirika today, and not just because Pirika looked dead on her feet. Ren looked ready to kill and no one wanted to get on the wrong side of his temper, especially after how he responded when Pirika first went missing.

One thing Horohoro noticed was that, despite his fear, Choco still trusted him. The three of them had been on the same team in the tournament and so, despite the rage in Ren's eyes, Choco knew he wouldn't take a cheap shot while his back was turned. This allowed him to get away faster since he could turn and run rather than just walk backwards nervously.

Ren waited until the other man had disappeared down the stairs before he headed into the room. He couldn't help but glare at Pirika as he shut the door.

She looked worse than before if that was even possible. The bags under her eyes were darker and the normal healthy shine of her skin was so gone he wondered if it would ever return. Those blue eyes, utterly exhausted and barely able to stay open moved to him.

"Don't be angry," she pleaded softly.

Ren just snorted. She knew damn well that he was angry and those three words weren't going to magically make it vanish. Glancing down at her again he got frustrated. Maybe her words didn't curb his anger, but the way she looked so small and vulnerable did. "It doesn't matter now," he snapped, a little softer than he had planned. "Right now you need sleep. We can discuss your bratty stubbornness once you wake up."

Pirika gave a little smile, though it took a lot of effort. She reached out a hand, summoning Ren over. He rolled his eyes and huffed, but seeing the way one corner of his lip curled up a little she ignored it. When he sat by her side she sighed. His hand moved into her hair, stroking gently. It seemed almost instantaneous that her breathing slowed and her eyes closed. Ren was determined not to leave her side for as long as she could sleep for. She needed the rest and he couldn't risk her waking and having more nightmares if he left. Not to mention her idea of rested enough for more memories was likely different than his and she might decide to try and move to the next person if he wasn't there standing guard.

#

Pirika opened her eyes and had to admit she felt ridiculously better. Not that she was going to admit it to either Ren or her brother however. That was a pat on the back they did not need. They were certain to notice, but she wasn't going to say it out loud.

Her first clue that she had been sleeping quite a while was Ren. He was still on the bed beside her, but he had fallen asleep sitting there. With his restraint it could have taken hours for him to get that tired.

She wasn't surprised he was still here. He wouldn't have risked her going looking for any more memories yet. As angry as Pirika wanted to be about that, she had to admit he was right. She couldn't have gone on much longer. Despite already being in bed when she experienced her memory with Choco it still drained her. It took longer than usual for her to come back to the present, and when she did she was so lightheaded she would have fallen had she been upright. As it was Choco had put a hand on her arm worried, so she must have looked pretty bad. Of course he might have been so afraid of Ren that even her blinking would have worried him.

She looked over at Ren frustrated. She knew he was only worried about her, but she had more important things to do than worry about herself right now.

Luckily, with only two people left to visit she finally felt she could take a short break.

It was tricky, but she managed to slide off the bed without disturbing Ren. At least she thought she had. As soon as she changed her shirt she turned for the door but caught Ren glaring at her.

"When did you start watching me?" she asked uncomfortably, feeling the heat coming up into her cheeks.

A smirk crossed his lips and he raised a brow. "That is your concern right now?" he asked. "Seeing your bare back is far from new to me."

Pirika glared over, the blush on her face getting stronger.

The humor left Ren's expression as he met her eye again. "Where were you going?"

"Down to the kitchen," she said simply. "I'm starving."

Ren watched her carefully, keeping her gaze until he finally nodded. He didn't think she was lying to him. It wasn't normally a hard thing to see since she was so poor at it. Of course she could fool some people like gullible Tamao, or trusting Yoh, but never him. "I should go to."

Pirika rolled her eyes. She was sure him being hungry was only half the reason for the escort, but she said nothing. She just followed him down to the kitchen where lunch was being prepared.

Lunch was nice, with everyone there and having a good time. No one singled her out or mentioned that she had collapsed earlier, or that she and Ren had been absent from breakfast. Something tugged at her memory making her think this is always how it was. She loved it.

Pirika didn't really talk during the meal, though she heard Ren and her brother speak. She enjoyed watching. In fact she didn't say anything until she and Ren were back upstairs.

"So," he said, his tone cool. "Who is left and what are you planning?"

She smiled up at him. "I thought you wanted to talk about my stubbornness today," she mused.

Ren rolled his eyes. "You are a brat." His words might have stung but for the fondness in his tone. Instead her smile grew. "As irritating as I find it I fear there is little I can do to change it."

"I love you Ren-kun," she told him with a little giggle.

"You were telling me your plans?" he said, ignoring her except for the hint of a smirk on his lips.

"Tamao and Ryu are left. I have spent some time with everybody else." She paused, but Ren didn't speak. "I was thinking I would go to Ryu first. I should get him this afternoon because he will probably go on a night ride tonight. Tamao should be easy to find at any point. My brother has been spending most of his time with her."

Ren nodded. Not expecting him to say anything more she turned and headed for the door hoping to track down Ryu quickly. His voice made her pause just before she stepped into the hall. "Be careful Piri," he warned softly. "Don't push yourself so hard you pass out again."

Pirika looked back at him with a gentle smile. "I promise," she said softly. His care for her warmed her. She was seeing it more now than she remembered.

If she had to guess, she would say that her vanishing had affected him greatly, not that he would want to admit it.

Not really knowing where anyone was she decided to start with the last place she had seen everyone, which had been the kitchen. Surprisingly both of the people she wanted to see were there. They sounded like they were discussing dinner plans, not an uncommon thing given the two of them split most of the cooking chores for the onsen. They looked up as she came in and smiled at her.

"Did you want to talk to one of us?" Tamao asked.

Pirika nodded. "Both of you actually." Letting her book fall open in her arms she found herself already on the page she had made for Ryu. Lifting it up and showing it to him she asked. "Would you like to go first?"

"Of course my Queen," he said happily.

Both women rolled their eyes as she took the seat beside him. He had yet to find his true queen, as he called her, so he had started calling all of the regular women at the his Queen. It had irritated some of the men at first, well mostly Ren, but the girls thought it was in good fun so they let it go.

Looking down at her book she let her fingers drift over the pictures until one jumped out at her. Ryu was standing near his bike with his back to her looking up at the stars.

#

 _Pirika was furious. Ren had been going to pick her up from school, but when classes finished Pirika had gone to her locker and found a note taped to it._

 _Stupid Tao Yuan had insisted on Ren coming home, so like always, Ren had abandoned everything they had planned and went rushing back._

 _Pirika didn't really want to go home, since Horohoro hadn't shown up she was guessing Ren had run off after doing nothing more than scrawling her a quick note. Her brother wasn't expecting her for hours, and if he saw her in this state it wouldn't help anyone. Chances are he would side with Ren, as he had been recently, and that would just set Pirika off further. Her temper didn't need a boost right now._

 _She continued walking aimlessly, trying to hold her angry tears in check. Hours had passed without her realizing it. All she knew was the angry, hateful thoughts rolling around her mind._

 _Letting out a partially restrained scream she kicked a rock hard, flinching back when it rebounded off the brick wall and hit the side of her leg._

 _Somehow it settled her, the sharp sting from reality. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath to settle herself. When she looked back upon the world she became concerned. She was not in a good part of town._

 _Although she had Mem, so her safety wasn't a huge risk, it was possible she could be overwhelmed and injured. Even if it was something she could handle, a fight would be loud, risk damaging innocents, and would escalate tensions between the resident shamans and the locals. They walked a fine line as it was and disputes, even if she was simply protecting herself, could send humans after the Asakura's and the rest of them with torches and pitchforks._

 _Because she didn't come here much, she didn't really know her way around. She would need to move carefully. It was getting dark, so she fell back into the shadows and started heading in the direction she hoped would quickly take her home._

 _Pirika was only part of the way back when she cursed herself. She never should have ended up here. Voices were getting closer. Crude, loud, laughing voices. Halfway down this road there was no place she could hide and the men were getting closer. Before she could make a decision she saw seven large guys turn the corner._

 _It took only moments for one of them to notice her and elbow another, whispering and pointing her out._

 _She called her ghost softly, causing him to appear at her side. He had been there the whole time, but seeing him was calming to her. Running wouldn't do much good when she didn't know where she was going, and some of these guys looked fast, so Pirika allowed them to get close and ultimately surround her._

 _"Just what do we have here?" one of the men asked happily. "Pretty little thing like you shouldn't be out here all alone."_

 _"But I'm never alone," Pirika told them with a smile and a giggle, hoping to frighten them off._

 _It didn't work. The man must not have understood because he turned to one of the other guys and shrugged before continuing as if she hadn't spoken._

 _"Why don't you come with us men," he suggested. "We'll help you out."_

 _Naive as she was, Pirika didn't believe him for a moment. There was a hint of evil in his eyes, and his smile was like something from a nightmare. "Actually I was just on my way home," she told them, trying to keep a sad smile on her face and not show her concern. Her last hope of this going well ended when his lips turned down and he glared at her. She could feel the other men take a step in._

 _Pirika opened her hand and summoned Mem, accepting that she would have to do this with simple Spirit Unity. She wasn't in the habit of bringing weapons to school so she was unarmed for this fight; well as unarmed as someone with her talent could be._

 _"Don't make me do this," she pleaded as they took a step forward. It was a true last ditch attempt. "I don't want to hurt anyone."_

 _"Oh we won't be the ones hurting sweets, you will," one of them insisted, grabbing her arm._

 _In the end no one was right. Just as Pirika moved to scratch him with her claw like nails a roar broke through the night causing everyone to turn and look down the street._

 _The bright headlight obscured the face of the motorcycle rider approaching them, but Pirika felt her heart soar when she saw that familiar pompadour._

 _As the wheels screeched to a stop the men backed away, unnerved by the closeness of the vehicle. Pirika had no such fear. Despite the bike halting less than two feet from her she kept her footing._

 _"It seems you are giving my young friend here a hard time," Ryu said._

 _These men may not have known Pirika, but they sure seemed to know Ryu. She heard the curses whispered among them. "Is she with him?" "Fuck, does that mean she is a freak too?" There was plenty more said, but Pirika ignored it all. The moment Ryu motioned her forward she lunged for the side car._

 _She was barely seated when the engine revved and the bike shot off the line, gravel spraying up and pelting the men as they left them behind._

 _Pirika tried a few times to speak to but her voice was drowned out by the engine and rush of the wind. Soon she realized it would need to wait until they stopped. Really she didn't know what to say anyway._

 _Things started to look familiar, but Ryu didn't stop. He drove past the apartment, and even the city lights before he slowed._

 _Once they got to a gas station outside of town he finally stopped. Rather than speak to her he simply got off the bike and walked away, acting as if he were simply stretching. Pirika waited only a moment before following. Clearly he wanted to talk or he would have driven her home or to the onsen even. As she walked up to his side she did note that he had allowed her to come to him. Ren and her brother would not have been so understanding and patient._

 _"Thank you Ryu," she said gently as she stopped beside him. "I'm not sure how that would have ended had you not shown up." Rather than face him in her embarrassment she just looked up at the stars. She saw him glance down at her curiously but ignored it._

 _"A queen should be careful of her surroundings," he advised._

 _Pirika sighed. "I know. I was just upset and not paying attention to where I was going. By the time I started thinking again it was too late and I was already lost." Silence descended over them again. Pirika was pleased. She didn't feel judged for her stupid actions. It was a nice feeling she wasn't used to. "What were you doing there?" she asked suddenly. That part of town wasn't somewhere he belonged either._

 _"Some of my fellow Dead Enders were having some issues with another gang and I thought I should have a few words with them."_

 _"Did you have a chance to speak to them?" she asked curiously, finally looking up at him._

 _Ryu looked down at her with an amused smile. "I suspect that they got the picture without words."_

 _Pirika then realized how he managed to find her. It had been thanks to the Spirits that the man who stopped her were the same men that Ryu had been looking for. Finding her at that same location was nothing but fate._

 _"Thank you again." The conversation was coming to an end and she knew it. As they headed back to the bike Pirika had one more thing to say. It felt wrong to ask for anything after what he had done, but she really needed it. "Please," she begged softly. "Don't tell my brother about this."_

 _Now Ryu looked down with a huge smile. "And Short pants?" he asked._

 _Pirika shivered thinking of how her protective boyfriend would respond to the knowledge of her wandering around in that part of the city. She could all but hear his rage. "And definitely don't tell Ren."_

 _She heard him chuckle as he nodded. "You're secret is safe with me. Just remember, a queen must always be careful."_

 _Pirika smiled, her first real smile of the night. "I will Ryu. Thank you."_

 _As soon as her words were finished the motorcycle revved its engine and they roared off, heading back into town for the siblings apartment._

#

When the memory faded and Pirika found herself sitting beside Ryu again she smiled up at him. "You never did tell anyone about that night did you."

"I believe if I had you would have been made well aware of it," he said with a wry smile. He was right too. No matter how much time had passed both her brother and her boyfriend would have confronted her about being so foolish.

One thing had been nagging at her since that night. She had fully expected to be cornered by one or both of the men in the following days. What she couldn't understand was why he had kept it a secret. "Why did you never tell them?" she asked.

Ryu leaned back in the chair as if remembering himself. "I did not think you would repeat such a mistake. You had looked so afraid when I rode up I expected you wouldn't forget that moment."

Pirika gave a little shiver remembering the way the men had looked at her. "I did remember," she said softly. "I was happy to never see any of them again.

Well," irritation covered her features, "I remembered until this mess," she muttered angrily.

Ryu just shrugged. "You remembered for as long as it mattered," he told her.

She didn't know if he had been planning on saying more or not, but Tamao came back into the kitchen at that moment with a piece of paper in hand.

"I have the shopping list for tonight if you two are finished," she said.

After getting a nod from Pirika Ryu got to his feet and took the list. Giving both women a wave he promised to be back soon and walked out.

Tamao sat down in the seat he had vacated and Pirika noticed a crease between her brow. Something must be worrying the pink haired seer.

Had she noticed it a few days ago she might not have realized something wasn't right, but even without the memories of each person she was remembering more and more all the time. She certainly remembered enough to know her friend usually had a much more relaxed look on her face.

"Is something wrong?" she asked concerned.

Suddenly the look of worry turned to a look of guilt. "Nothing," Tamao insisted.

Pirika just frowned at her and waited. Something was wrong and she wanted to know what.

Before long Tamao sighed. "I don't understand why you didn't come to me earlier," she mumbled, her hurt evident. "We were close. Why wouldn't you want to remember me earlier."

Finally understanding Pirika gave a bright smile. "But I already had memories of you," she explained. "You were in some of my memories with Ren and Horohoro. I remembered you being there for my last birthday and catching you with my brother." Pirika paused for a moment, considering her friend. "Are we good now?" she asked.

Tamao laughed happily. "Yeah," she promised. "Now do what you need to do."

Pirika looked down and was drawn to one picture she had taken without anyones knowledge. The scene she had witnessed had brought tears to her eyes as she had lifted her camera and snapped a picture of her brother embracing the pink haired seer.

#

 _Horohoro had gotten back from work less than an hour ago and had all but stumbled his way to his room before collapsing on his mattress, asleep in moments._

 _Pirika gave a sad smile as she peered into the room. He had gotten up at four or five to start on his homework, went to school, and from there went straight to work. By the time he got home it was so late he was exhausted beyond reason. This happened a few times a week and Pirika hated it. This was why she had wanted to drop out. Things were getting better for her with Ren helping, but that didn't make things any easier for her brother. Giving a sigh she had closed the curtains and shut his door, hoping he could get a few hours of sleep._

 _Now there was a knock on the door and Pirika raced for it. If she could get there before he woke he could get more needed rest._

 _Opening the door she saw Tamao standing there. "Is your brother here?" she asked._

 _Glancing back at the closed door down the hall Pirika nodded. "Yeah, but he really needs his sleep."_

 _"I know," she said with a gentle smile. "Don't wake him. He had been going to take me out tonight but he never showed up. I wanted to be sure that everything was alright."_

 _"Tamao?" a deep, sleepy voice questioned from behind the bluenette._

 _"Go back to sleep," the seer said to the man. "I just came to check on you."_

 _Horohoro groaned and moved forward. "I forgot we had plans."_

 _Sensing a talk coming Pirika slipped away and headed to her room. Still, she was curious so she kept her door open so she could eavesdrop as her brother continued speaking. She was also able to angle herself to see a the pair of them a little as well._

 _"They had someone call in today and they asked me to cover the shift. I wanted the hours so bad I didn't even think about what day it was."_

 _"It's fine," Tamao promised, her smile never wavering._

 _"No it isn't," Horohoro insisted, his tone showing anger for the first time. "You deserve better than this Tamao, better than me. You shouldn't have to wait at home for hours wondering why you were stood up and if everything is okay. You should move on; find someone who can treat you right."_

 _"Stop. I deserve what makes me happy, and that is you."_

 _Pirika peeked out, wondering how her brother was taking this. Although she couldn't see his face the slump of his shoulders told her how he was hurting right now. Despite Tamao's reassurances he wasn't letting this go quite yet or he would be less defeated. "Another man can make you happy. All you have to do is let them. For that you have to leave me. You can't stick around. This could last for years."_

 _"I will happily wait for you forever if that is what it takes. I've seen a future for us and I wouldn't risk that for anything."_

 _Horohoro must have realized he wasn't going to get through to her because he took a step forward and pulled her into his arms. Pirika just barely heard him whisper "I love you."_

 _The memory just started to fade when Tamao returned the sentiment. Before the first memory had faded she found herself still in the past, though months later._

#

 _Pirika approached the apartment door carefully. She fully expected a fight. Since she and Ren had fallen asleep at his apartment the pair of them had slowly gotten less careful of her curfew. It wasn't uncommon for Ren to bring her home twenty or thirty minutes after Horohoro demanded she be in. Pirika didn't mind to much because she loved spending time with Ren, and she suspected Ren was pleased with the idea because he knew it would irritate Horohoro._

 _Tonight was different however. They had gone to a movie that ended the same time as her curfew. Had she gone straight home it wouldn't have been too big of an issue, but she didn't. The movie had been terrifying and Pirika had clung to Ren for the duration. Afterward she was still frightened and didn't really want to head back, so she talked Ren into bringing her out for a sweet late night treat. After that they had stopped at her favorite park and he pushed her on the swings for a little while. By the time going home occurred to her she was hours late. Her brother would be furious._

 _Her hand was on the knob when she heard a pair of voices from within._

 _"You need to calm down," a soothing voice said._

 _"What do you mean calm down?" she heard her brother snap. "Anything could have happened to her!"_

 _"Nothing happened to her," the first voice said as Pirika slipped into the apartment. "She is with Ren. You can't think he would let anything happen to her."_

 _"Well no but," Horohoro muttered._

 _"No buts," Tamao insisted. Looking over his shoulder she smiled. "Ren is always going to bring her home safe. See?"_

 _"I'm sorry Onii-chan," Pirika said gently as he spun around._

 _His eyes grew as he pulled her into his arms. "Piri, you're okay. I was so worried about you."_

 _"Everything is fine," she assured him. "Ren has to leave for a couple weeks and I wasn't ready for him to go yet."_

 _"Damn it Piri," Horo cursed softly, his grip tightening._

 _Pirika saw Tamao smiling at the pair of them. 'Thank you' Pirika mouthed to her friend. Tamao just laughed and nodded, watching happily._

#

Finally the present cleared around her, but things were still a little blurry as she tried to focus on Tamao sitting on the chair beside her. "You were always so good to my brother," she said softly as she felt herself start to wobble a little.

"You need to rest," Tamao said having just realized how she must still be feeling. Without a word to her friend she called in Ren, knowing he would get her back upstairs. Hopefully he wouldn't be too angry with her.

#


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Here we have it. The last chapter of the story. Hopefully someone out there enjoyed reading it. That would be enough to make it worth it that I rewrote so much of the ending. I'm finally happy with the piece. So here we go, the beginning of the end. Thanks for joining me.

#

Chapter 9

#

Yoh didn't hear her approach. The first he knew of her presence was when the door shut behind them. He noticed she was more thoughtful than usual.

There was a frown on her face as she stared out the window.

"What's wrong Anna?" Yoh asked with a little smile. He always thought Anna looked so adorable like this.

"I need your help," she whispered.

"What's wrong," he asked more seriously. For Anna to ask for help this had to be important.

"We need to go to Hao."

"We can't Anna. I told Hao we would leave him alone for now if he left in peace. We can't afford to get in a full battle with him right now. I don't know how many followers he still has so I can't be sure we will win."

"He has Mem," Anna said when Yoh stopped talking. This caused the man to become quiet. "He must. Ren and Horohoro are both sure he would never have abandoned Pirika, and I have to agree. Maybe you can't feel him when he is hidden, but I can. He was always with her. I can count on one hand the number of times I have felt him missing and that was always at school."

"We would need someone to watch Hana," Yoh told his wife.

"Tamao would do it happily if we asked."

Yoh was still studying her carefully. "You just want the two of us to go. Why? It would be easier with more people."

Now Anna looked away. "I need to confront him," she explained. "Hao can both send a spirit to the after world and also seal them away in this world. I need to look him in the eye when I ask what he did so I know if he's lying. If we bring Ren or Horohoro, Hao might just say that he got rid of Mem to anger them."

"Wouldn't it have made more sense for him to banish Mem?" Yoh asked gently.

"Perhaps, but I think he wants to avoid angering you. Had he wanted a real fight he could have come in force when he stopped by the other day, but he didn't."

Yoh sighed. "Okay Anna. We can at least go see him. When do you want to leave?"

"Right now. Grab what you need and I will speak with Tamao."

#

"This is where Pirika was all this time?" Yoh asked in shock. Anna didn't respond, but she knew what he meant. It was nothing more than a dirt camp with yurts for tents. A bonfire pit in the center with a massive pot detonated a kitchen. There was no permanent buildings, no bath besides the little lake nearby, no real toilets with actual plumbing. "Ren must have cleaned her up before he brought her back."

"Oh I'm guessing the Tao did plenty of things to my pet before returning her," an amused voice said from the shadows.  
Yoh's head snapped in that direction quickly, but Anna's actions were lazy. Hao didn't scare her right now.

"So, what did I do to deserve a visit from my beautiful sister in law?" the same voice asked, his tone sickeningly sweet as he stepped out into the light, showing just who they expected.

"Quit the shit Hao," Yoh snapped. Anna smiled a little. His normally endless patience ran out quite quickly when it came to either herself or their son.

"Mem," Anna said simply, moving between the twins.

"I'm afraid I have no idea what you are talking about." The tone of voice showed his honesty.

"Pirika's spirit. A kappa she named Mem. You must know of him."

"Ah," Hao said, a smile lighting his face. "I was wondering if it might come to this. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you have made this trip in vein I am afraid. The worthless creature is long gone."

Yoh sighed sadly and placed a hand on Anna's arm, making a move to pull her away. She just shook him off. "He's lying," she said coldly.

Hao just raised a brow, his smile growing. "I had no use for the thing."

"I think you did. I think you kept him in hopes of turning him to help you. The spirit you captured for Pirika wasn't working well, and her original spirit would have a connection you couldn't replicate."

"It would take someone with miraculous skill to trick a spirit."

"I think you might just be stupid enough to think yourself capable," Anna told him lightly.

Hao laughed. "You don't miss a trick do you Anna dearest?" he asked.

"We aren't here to play Hao," Yoh said firmly. "Give us Mem and we can leave."

"Mem is the last thing I have little brother," Hao said simply. "It would be foolish. Maybe if you give me something that I want-. Perhaps Pirika could come back herself and bargain for her spirits freedom. I'm sure the girl could offer something worth my while."

Now it was Anna who lost her temper, moving forward she slapped him hard across the face. "You leave that poor girl alone!" she shouted. "You have put her through more than enough already."

Yoh put a hand on her arm and pulled her back. "This ends here and now Hao," he insisted. His hands slipped to his weapons, the threat clear as

Amidamaru appeared behind him. "Unless you would prefer I go get everyone and bring them out. Horohoro and Ren would both love a chance to get their hands on you with my blessing." Yoh glanced around at the people gathering. "Based on the crowd I'm guessing we could do some damage even without the Spirits of Lightning and Water those two would bring."

Hao smirked. Then smiled. Then laughed coldly. "You've learned little brother."

"From the best," Yoh growled under his breath.

Raising a hand Hao snapped his fingers and a bubble appeared. As the tint faded they were able see the Kappa they were searching for within. Another snap and the bubble popped, dropping the creature to the ground roughly.

Yoh kneeled down and opened his arms. "Come over here Mem," he called gently. "We will go back to Pirika together."

Clearly cautious, the green monster hesitated. It looked forward and back a few times before his gaze locked on Hao and he trembled. The fire shaman jerked out at Mem, causing him to squeal and rush towards Yoh. Hao was roaring with laughter as a webbed, clawed green hand reached out and took Yoh's.

Yoh stood up as soon as he had a good grip and began backing away. Having what they wanted, Anna turned and left, but Yoh refused to turn his back on his brother until he felt they were safe.

Once they finally got far enough he smiled down at the Kappa. This was the best look he had ever gotten of the spirit. Normally all you could catch was a glance before he was gone.

"You've never seen him up close before, have you?" Anna asked.

Yoh looked over a little guilty. He had been trying to glance over discreetly but it must not have worked as well as he thought. "Nope," he admitted.

Suddenly he noticed that she was paying no attention to Mem at all. "Have you?"

Anna smirked. "Mem is a Kappa," she told him. "Kappas like pretty girls." Anna sighed a little, her smile fading. "I think he is afraid of men actually, though

I'm not sure why. It must have been before he met Pirika, because she doesn't know either."

"Huh," Yoh said under his breath. He wasn't aware Anna knew so much about the thing. She had asked Horohoro and Ren about him over the past few days, but she must have at least suspected his fate with what she knew. Yoh glanced back down but there was only air beside him.

"He's still there," Anna promised. "He is just scared. He will come out for Pirika."

#

Pirika was sitting in the kitchen with her brother, Tamao, and Ren. The three were worried about the bluenette. She hadn't been eating much since she finished with her memories a few days ago. Even now, with a couple of foods she normally loved she was just pushing them around her plate.

"Isn't there anything you want to eat Pirika?" Tamao asked, pleading softly.

Ren glanced over when Tamao spoke, but for the most part the men were ignoring the girls. Putting more pressure on Pirika wouldn't help them get what they wanted.

All three were suddenly drawn in when she gasped. "Mem," she whispered in a panic.

"Pirika, please don't do-" Horohoro begged. He had been avoiding this discussion at every turn and he could tell Pirika was starting to understand. He didn't think Mem would ever be found.

"He's here!" she screamed, jumping up and heading for the door.

Ren was on his feet and grabbed her before she was got more than a few feet from him. As soon as he had her restrained she started to scream and thrash.

Ren cursed softly when she landed a hit on his shin. Horohoro tried to move in and help but before he got there Ren cried out angrily as Pirika fell to the floor.

She didn't even try to get to her feet, instead she began to crawl to the door.

"She bit me!" Ren spat angrily, looking at his now bloody arm.

Horohoro felt his mouth drop open. His sister hadn't bit anyone in years, and never anyone she cared for. The last time he could think of her life had been threatened. Now he was a little nervous. As much as he wanted to lift her off the floor he saw the blood leaking from Ren and he was weary. His sister was a lot stronger than most people thought. It would be hard for him to restrain her without one of them getting hurt.

A door slammed and now the other two people leaving the kitchen had their mouths hit the floor as well. Appearing right in front of his sobbing sister was the scaly green creature she'd had for years.

Letting out a desperate cry Pirika threw her arms around the kappa and pulled him close to her. It was as if nothing else in the world existed right now.

"What is going on?" Ren snapped as the rest of the onsen filtered into the entry way. He had shared Horohoros opinion that they were never seeing the spirit again. It was never pleasent for him to be caught off guard.

"Dude what happened to your arm?" Yoh asked I shook at seeing the blood.

Ren just growled. He wanted to know how it was possible Mem had been found. It wasn't as if they could fool Pirika with a replacement kappa. "Not important. Tell me what is going on."

"Hao had Mem," Anna explained coldly. Some of them would have expected Pirika to respond to that fact but it seemed as if she hadn't even noticed. At that point everyone realized they weren't getting her focus back for some time.

Yoh looked back at Ren's arm. "Let's have Faust look at that," he advised. He could tell the Tao didn't want to listen, but Yoh didn't give him much of a choice as he pulled him into the living room and shoved him into a chair where Faust could look at his arm without blocking his view of Pirika. Without a word Faust got to work and the crowd moved on, all smiling at the happiness Pirika showed.

#

Ren had been thinking about his options all day and he knew what he wanted to do. The difficult part would be admitting it to Horohoro. Not only was there a chance the other man would take offense at what he wanted, but also Ren didn't want to admit how helpless he was right now.

If Horohoro hadn't given his offer, Ren probably would have followed her up North, but it would have been awkward for him. He had never been to Hokkaido before and was unfamiliar the area. There was also the fact that the siblings wanted to do farming for food and flood the land remaining for the Koropokkur. Ren knew nothing about any of it.

He accepted that his life was going to be a bundle of new experiences now, but that didn't mean he was fond of it. The thought of having something to help ease him into his new life was comforting and as much as he hated to rely on others, he liked the idea of staying with them. Being with Pirika would be just what he wanted and no matter how much he fought with Horohoro, he would always be Ren's closest friend.

So, he decided to suck up his pride at least for a moment. After Pirika had fallen asleep, worn out from an evening of clinging to Mem, he went across the hall to his friend's room. Horohoro looked a little surprised when Ren walked in. "What's up dude?" he asked, seeing how tense Ren seemed to be.

Ignoring him for a moment Ren moved across the room and started looking at things on the dresser. Knowing he couldn't be forced Horohoro just waited.

"When are we leaving?" he asked softly.

Grinning Horohoro nodded. "I was thinking early next week, maybe Monday? It all depends on how she's doing though and what she wants. I haven't asked if she wants to come up with me or wait until I can at least get an apartment to stay at for a few months until we can get some land."

Setting the trinket in his hand down Ren turned towards him. "You should look for a house right away. Money won't be a problem."

His calm words took a second to register but finally his eyes widened. "Ren I can't ask you for anything like that!"

"You aren't asking. I'm insisting. Not only do I have more than enough saved up but I'll be able to have the business I've been working on up within a year."

Knowing he wasn't convinced yet so Ren looked him right in the eye. "I might as well put the damn money to good use. Giving her security and structure after this disaster is more than worth it."

Biting his lip, Horohoro gave in and nodded. "Fine, when we go up we'll talk about it. But I won't let it go that easy. I'll pay you back somehow."

Walking out Ren smirked. "You can try."

#

It hadn't taken long before they found they perfect place and within a month the group of them had moved everything from both Ren's and onsen up to the farmhouse they had bought. The house was surrounded by acres of fields perfect for their needs, including one set aside for Hakuoh's needs. Inside there was a large kitchen to Horohoro's delight, and two bedrooms.

Pirika had expected her brother to throw a fit at the idea of Ren sleeping in the same room as her but he hadn't said a word. His motives became clear before long when Tamao came up to stay with them for a week or two.

Despite the differences of the lives they had before this, all of them settled easily. Ren worked on his computer frequently trying to tie up loose ends on his business idea and Horohoro and his sister spent the days out in the fields. By the time snow fell most of the land was flooded and the Koropokkur started trickling in.

It didn't turn out how any of them had expected it to, but they wouldn't change it. Everything was worth it in

 **The End.**


End file.
